Ultra Records has sold out

Woe to the music world when a respected techno record company such as Ultra Records commits the greatest atrocity known to good music: selling out. Even if you're not familiar with Ultra Records, listen to my requiem for a label.

First, a brief history lesson: Ultra Records was founded in 1995 by former Virgin executives who were tired of the way mainstream techno was being handled and thought they could do it better. In short, they were right. Ultra Records became quite literally the biggest and most respected record label for all things techno, producing records by techno gods like Armin van Buuren, Kaskade, Tiesto, Benny Benassi, and even Paul Oakenfold. Ultra was responsible for the growth of techno in the late 90's as a "mainstream" genre and by 2005, in the age of Cascada, had managed to create a substantial audience for techno with their excellent marketing strategies and command of the market. PS. if you're in business school, by chance, this is the paradigm of capturing a niche market. See me for details.

Here's a sample that's relevant to my discussion. Ultra Records, much to the dismay of #2 rival Robbins Entertainment (responsible for the Cascada/D.H.T. advent of 2005) had ALWAYS been able to draw people in to techno with one excellent tool: Compilations. Ultra consistently put together the BEST compilations of techno singles yearly with such series like "Ultra Dance," (their most popular) "Ultra Trance," "Ultra 200_" (insert year here. My personal favorite series), and "Ultra presents Thrivemix". Samples of some of the best of these compilations are scattered throughout this review.

Now, the thing that was great about these compilations, especially Ultra Dance, was the ability to take killer pop remixes, put together with Billboard Dance Top 20 hits and market it as a hip, sexy way to listen to cool techno music. Note that almost ALL Ultra Records compilations feature nearly-nude models on the covers, some of their older records even including pull-out posters. It's brilliant, really. The customer gets the excellent music, and the satisfaction that they are somehow on the edge of things and being risque or avant-garde. Terrific stuff.

And this is where Ultra Records has failed. On their newest compilation, Ultra 10, Ultra Records has included pop music. Yes, pop music. Not pop remixes. Standard, straight-up pop/hip-hop. Not even remixed. Just pure pop. The techno element is still there, but it's marginalized, shoved towards the back of the album. Hoping that people will keep the CD on long enough to get to the actual dance music and maybe like it. Don't believe me? Well, let's look at the tracklisting, shall we? The first two songs: "Live Your Life" by T.I. and Rihanna and then "Bust It Baby Part 2" by Plies and Ne-Yo. Both Top 40 pop songs by mainstream pop artists, no remixing, no techno.

How much more sell out can you get?! This unprecedented atrocity that Ultra has committed has not gone unnoticed by techno fans, who are quickly abandoning the series. However, as to be expected, the series is now more popular than ever with the pop crowd.

I'm usually not opposed to letting the techno element slide a little bit in favor of drawing people into the genre, but this is TOO MUCH. Ultra compilations were always a little dicey for hardcore dance/electronica fans simply because the pop remix element was so strong. I personally liked it, listened to it, bought into it. Ultra Records now is betraying the very same thing that made them so respectable in the techno community: they NEVER pandered to popular pressure. Ultra always had great taste and went with it, being a LEADER in the industry, not a follower. And it's not like their old formula wasn't working. People respected Ultra. Perhaps with recent economic strings tightening, Ultra was forced to sell out to pay bills, but that's against the spirit of the industry. To be quite frank, what the FUCK is T.I. doing on a TECHNO music compilation?! It's disgusting. And the rest of the compilation is barely-remixed pop songs: no new or original techno tunes involved. It's a nightmare.

Ultra has a difficult choice to make now: continue on the road they're traveling, win more Top 40 pop fans, and lose ALL respect from the people who supported them in the first place, or admit their mistake, repent, say a few hail Mary's and hope that their next compilation album will be able to bridge both gaps.

I personally am quite disappointed. This kind of shit is NOT tolerated in the dance/electronica community. Note that I'm not blogging about this just to whine. I'm blogging about this in the hopes that other people will recognize that this change has occurred, note the consequences it has for all techno music fans, and stop buying Ultra until they change their attitude towards their original fans.

Otherwise, it's R.I.P. Ultra Records in my book.

Fuck Lady Gaga

It's time to unearth the ugly truth about America's new reigning "techno diva." The catchy single "Just Dance" and follow-up single "Poker Face" seem innocent and catchy enough, but after I'm done with you, you'll see that this whack chick is an abominable sell-out.

I'm approaching my argument as I would a history lesson. I didn't always hate Lady Gaga. I heard about her WAYYY back in early April 2007 when she was first making major waves in the internet techno community as the newest brainchild of producers RedOne, the geniuses behind Robyn's newest electro-hip-hop comeback. Lady Gaga was unique in that she had a definite techno sensibility paired with the flashy performance style of glam rock, ala "Black Cherry"-era Goldfrapp. Her original single "Boys Boys Boys" started getting a bit of club play and I started taking notice.

Gaga finally got signed to a major label and produced the ORIGINAL single "Just Dance". It is here that I must be clear. The ORIGINAL club mix of the single in August 2007 played on techno radio was a fun jammin' techno track, heavily sythesized, heavy drums, fun danceable shit. The closest thing you can find now that resembles this version is the album cut on her album "The Fame", but note that the original version had no Colby O' Donnis. I liked the single because it had major crossover appeal. Lady Gaga's crazy pop antics and her mastery of catchy, danceable hooks had all the hallmarks of doing what Cascada failed to do in 2005/2006: introduce the mainstream pop crowd into the joys of true dance music, put hooks in 'em, and real 'em in with continually powerful hits.

But here is where my hate train leaves the station. Gaga, the shallow performer that she is, got a break on "Dancing With The Stars" in August 2008, performing "Just Dance" in front of a major television audience. Characteristically, when the Top-40 people are forcefully introduced to techno, they wake up and realize that it's awesome. Lady Gaga suddenly had the power to make a difference in the techno world. Lady Gaga, however, did the EXACT OPPOSITE: she sold out.

As soon as she got her break, Lady Gaga teamed up with Akon's Konvict music and crossed the bridge into pop music, burning the bridge behind her. Akon put Colby O'Donnis on the track, and created the version of "Just Dance" that's on the album. Gone was the heavy synthesized pumping bass and in came Colby's whining verse and dumb lyrics. The song became Pop. "Just Dance" topped the Itunes Dance charts. Itunes, sensing the sellout...*cough cough* excuse me, "cross over" appeal of the song stopped classifying Lady Gaga as dance and moved her into Pop in August 2008. Lady Gaga had finally betrayed her roots and had become cliche, bubblegum, silly danceable pop music ala Pussycat Dolls and began being picked up by Top 40 radio stations.

But Lady Gaga's betrayl of anything called "dance" was not complete! NO! Far from it. Lady Gaga invigorated by her newfound success changed "Just Dance" EVEN MORE! There not just two versions of the single, but three! Chances are, if you turned on the radio right now, the version that you would hear features Akon and Kardinal Offishal. Let me repeat, Akon and Kardinal Offishal! The song was COMPLETELY rearranged to include the best elements of Akon and Offshal's failed single "Dangerous" and put the beat and piano hooks centered around Gaga's vocals. Almost ANY traces of the original club mix were essentially destroyed by this new version of "Just Dance", now penned the "RedOne Radio Edit".

And as to be expected, Lady Gaga finally got the break she "deserved". As soon as it became pop, "Just Dance" shot up into the Top 10 of the Hot 100. Accordingly, the techno community has completely abandoned her. Want proof? Look on her "Remixes" of "Just Dance" on Itunes. Recognize a single REPUTABLE techno remixer or DJ who has produced any of the remixes? Nope. All the remixes are produced by hack DJs or are cleverly disguised re-versions of alternate Konvict remixes. (Note that the appearance of Richard Vission, a once-respected DJ may seem slightly contradictory, but it's not. Vission hasn't had a hit in years, and is, quite honestly, desperate).

In short, Lady Gaga is a fucking sell-out. If I could have 5 minutes alone with her, this is what I would say. I'd say, Ms. Gaga, I know "The Fame" of Top 40 success is lucrative, but if you continue on this dark, dark road, 5 years from now no one will remember you. At least Cascada is still respected in the techno community for staying true to their roots. The only people who respect you are drag queens and people who don't know any better. You are quite simply now just one of the many "rising pop stars" who, without a serious course correction, will never have another hit.

Lady Gaga = FAIL. If you're at all into techno, stay away from this sell-out shit. Pick up the newest Kylie album or Amin Van Buuren's GODLIKE "Imagine" and groove on.

Music Review: Johnny Cash Remixed (2009)

The release of this album pissed me off so much I couldn't even stand it. I had to write a review to explain how truly disgusting this is to techno music critics like myself.

First of all, let's give this bold idea the benefit of the doubt. What exactly is it trying to accomplish? Well, according to Amazon.com's review, "The goal was to bring the sensibility and technology of 2009 to recordings universally accepted as timeless with the endorsement and cooperation of the custodians of Johnny Cash's legacy."

Woops.

In today's music industry, remixing is one of two things: an art form, or commercial milking. This album is an unequivocal example of the latter. Who exactly thought it would be a good idea to take songs like "I Walk The Line" and "Folsom Prison Blues" and turn them into techno/electronic/rap songs? Dumb producers who are hoping that fans of Johnny Cash will forget their good sense and respect for the Man in Black and buy this compilation, that's who.

But enough about that. Let's examine the music directly. First track is the main single "I Walk The Line" (QDT Remix featuring Snoop Dogg). Yes, you heard right, the D-O-double-G. It's a rap song structured around Johnny Cash's original chorus. Seriously?! Yep, seriously. Besides the fact that the song is SO ICONIC in American country music and can't really ever be topped as an original, so-called "remix" is an absolute piece of trash. It blows my mind (another Snoop reference) that tha Doggfather would EVER EVER EVER have the audacity to lend his rapping and filthy lyrics to a remake of Johnny Cash. The beat is idiotic, the rhymes are lame, and the production quality is worse than amatueur! You can almost hear the vinyl scratching as the play the Cash vocal sample next to the bleeping electronic hook. It's not a pretty sound to hear poor Johhny 's soulful lyrics mismatched with hip-hop beats, obnoxious violins, and synthesized "ooh-ooh"ing. Oh, and hear that sound? Really faint in the background. Yep, the moaning. That's Johnny rolling over in his grave.

But wait...there's MORE. The rest of the album either continually dabbles in awkward hip-hop with shitty production quality, or commits cardinal sin #2 by venturing into techno. Techno?! Indeed techno. The rest of the album tries to pull a Fatboy slim and make the album funky, underground, and upbeat to disastrous effects... Take the pitiful "Big River" (Count de Money Remix) for example. It's got the same grainy production quality and dumb instrumentation. The worst of these has got to be "Folsom Prison Blues". THERE IS NO BLUES in this remix! The heart and soul of the song has been erased by a repeating drumbeat and synth-piano hook. ARGH! No longer is Johnny's call of "Now I can't be free" relevant. No longer are we able to take the song and the message seriously.

The only somewhat decent remix is the "Get Rhythm" (Phillip Steir Remix), which like Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation" (JXL Remix) manages to correctly match the flavor of the original with some new funky electro. Here's the difference: they re-master his voice with synthesizers and eliminate the background static! GENIUS! Why didn't they do that in the first place?! I will never know, but it makes the album at least not abominable. Plus the original song was never THAT iconic or interesting in the first place, so you're allowed some leverage. But how in the world are you expected to remake "I Walk The Line" successfully? The answer is...you can't.

For me, albums like these are a symptom of a almost-fatal disease that is pervading today's music world. Producers decide that if they can't make new music, it's best to rehash old music. There's nothing wrong with that, per say, but the problem is that shoddy producership and the lust for quick profits ruins the project. I've seen too many albums like "Billie Holiday Remixed", "Donna Summer Remixed", "KC & The Sunshine Band Remixed" absolutely FAIL not because it was such a bad idea in the first place, but because the record label won't let good DJ's and remixers in on the project. And then there are some albums, like Johnny Cash Remixed, that should never have been made in the first place. It's an embarrassment to good dance/electronica music and an embarrasment to the memory of Johnny Cash.

MY RATING: Terrible. Truly terrible and miserably bad. But don't take my word for it. See it yourself at http://www.spinner.com/new-releases#/3 you can listen to it free for a limited time and let your ears bleed. Once you realize the health dangers of listening to it, follow the advice of Johnny Cash and "Leave That Junk Alone."