Humor: Oh my random work life...

Hey guys, just wanted to share something funny that happened at work today. Thanks to the miracle of blogs and anonymity, I can fully divulge the story, getting into the gruesome and hilarious details.

So, I'm helping this woman at Target check out. She's probably in her mid forties. She was dressed FAR too sluttily for her age. Low low cut black top, mega-eyeshadow, middle-aged Southern accented housewife, wrinkling, angsty, distracted by kids... Urgh. Not my favorite kind of person. Inevitably, they're the kind of person who'll get frustrated with their own inability to shop and then somehow take it out on me...

Which is ironically what happened. Her kids were running around like possessed pineapples (quite a site), pulling on her skirt and saying 'MOMMMYYY I WANNTTT THISSS..." in whiny almost-constipated voices. Mommy was a little busy checking out. Mommy, as I'm now referring to her, pitifully failed at keeping her kids quiet, allowing one to scream bloody murder when the toy wasn't placed on the belt. Screams...

Screams and more screams....And some screaming occured. In the meantime, I'm trying to be friendly. Distract the kids (so they'll stop screaming, dammit) and asking her about the price of some item ('cause the computer didn't have it on file). She starts getting snippy with ME, saying literally "Can't you see I've got my hands full?" Jeez.

Well, I was feeling rather smug while she glared at me. She asked to borrow my pen to write a check. So I hand her the pen. And as God's divine providence would have it, the pen seemed to magically FLIP out of her fingers...and into her open shirt. Wedged RIGHT BETWEEN HER BOOBS.

So, I'm TRYING to hold back the laughter erupting in my chest. She turns a bright shade of pink and waves her hands around frantically. It was like she was trying to shoo away a fly nipping at her boobs, and all the while squeeking awkwardly. Her kids by now had stopped their whining and paid attention to Mommy's plight. Unfortunately what COULD have been mildy humorous shenanigans turned into MORE awkwardness when she got the courage to gently remove the wedged pen with her highly-manicured nails.

I had kind of lost track by this point (blown away by what I was seeing). It took some time for her to get it out (why I am not sure). She smiled at me awkardly, put the pen down beside her, and paid with her credit card.

"Have a nice day," I said...CRIKEY! Incidentally, the kids walked away without a word. Crikey.