DJ Dustbunny's Guide to Awesome Music

A Golden Age for Dance Music

2011-02-17T18:25:00.002-05:00

Think back to early 2008. A little-known singer named Lady Gaga had just appeared on American Idol to enthusiastic crowds who praised her strange costumes and innovative blend of electro and hip-hop/pop. Dance music was still largely relegated to those within the "scene," with innovators like Oakenfold, Tiesto, and even Justin Timberlake who laid the groundwork with blending more progressive pop influences into their songs. But then again, dance music was still largely unnoticed with the one notable exception being Cascada, who by some unknown miracle had managed to crack the Hot 100 with an upbeat eurodance song in 2006. David Guetta (and others) were making masterful dance albums, none of which charted on the Top 200 and dance radio airplay was doing about the same as it had been doing in 2002.

Everything has changed. When you see that Rihanna won a Grammy for Best Dance Recording and Usher and Ne-Yo come out with songs that sounds like Ferry Corsten mixed them in 2002, you know that Toto is dancing somewhere at a techno club in Kansas.

The reason? Gaga. As much as I criticize her for being unoriginal, annoying, and outlandish, no one can deny her immense contribution to the genre, so much so that I'd put the 21st century timeline of dance music into two quadrants: Pre-Gaga and Post-Gaga. Her innovative genre-blending of electro, pop, hip-hop, and house (that still hasn't gotten a proper label) made it COOL for artists to borrow things like dance beats, synth pianos, and progressive chord structures. And above all-- put attitude back into pop music. She hasn't been doing anything that say, Kylie Minogue didn't do in 2004...but she does it a whole lot better, and with controversy galore. Now that Gaga-sound has caught on to every aspect of Pop music, pop and R&B performers turn to dance music with open earbuds and even make some of the more hardcore elements of hip-hop don sequins and glowsticks.

Let's look at this dramatic transformation on a timeline to better illustrate what I'm saying: Pre-Gaga we had Cascada and SexyBack by Justin Timberlake, as well as a whole hoard of Pop Remixes that had some airplay in clubs (Deborah Cox, Madonna, Britney, etc.). Post-Gaga....Well, let's just take a look at the Hot 100! Usher - DJ Got Us Falling In Love, Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster, Rihanna - Only Girl In The World, Pitbull- Calle Ocho, Britney Spears - Hold It Against Me, Katy Perry - California Grrls, Black Eyed Peas - Time Of My Life (Dirty Bit), Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm Loving You) and the list keeps on going!

If it's dance music, it's hot right now. Electronic music is not only replacing organic music, but also in some way, the more electronic the better. My question is, what does this mean for the genre? Well, folks, I think we're entering another Golden Age for Dance Music.

What's really great about this electronic pop trend is that existing dance/electronica performers have had a Frankensteinian resurrection with the growing pop fascination with dance music. To some extent, yes, it's because of their own shift towards more commercially accessible music. Of course, there have been mixed results (I'll be the first to admit Tiesto's "Pop" album wasn't so great). But for the handful of crossover acts that have really taken off, the impact has been HUGE. And let's give a lot of credit to French DJ David Guetta for pioneering the movement. After somehow convincing wil.i.am.that dance music was awesome, David Guetta has become one of the top-selling music acts in the U.S., and conventional house performers like Daft Punk and Deadmau5 and electro artists like Robyn have cracked the Hot 100 and Top 200 for the first time in YEARS.

One only wonders how long this Golden Age will last. Even fleeting revivals of dance music like in the age of Technotronic, Ace of Base, and La Bouche in the early 1990's, are ephemeral at best. I gotta hand it to Gaga... She's got a good thing going on, and inevitably, there might be a cult of personality factor with how long this lasts. But (and this is a rare thing when I say this), here's to Gaga to see if she can keep it up so dance music can continue to flourish.

Love Letter - R. Kelly (2010)

2011-01-10T10:59:00.004-05:00

Sigh...This album can be summed up with the phrase "R. Kelly will be R. Kelly," or maybe more aptly-titled, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks or how not to pee on little girls."

I had been hyping up Love Letter for about a month from the strength of the incredible lead single "When A Woman Loves," a classic soul throwback which could have easily been something Al Green or even Marvin Gaye could have done if they were still relevant/alive. Music critics, including myself, had seen the album as a way for R. Kelly to redeem himself from the auto-tuned steaming pile of "Untitled" that he released in 2009 and pave the way for him to revive his career with classic soul.

How wonderful that would have been if that was actually the case. Fact: if your best song on the album is a re-release of a song you wrote for Michael Jackson, we've got a serious problem. Yes, the ballad "You Are Not Alone" that R. Kelly wrote for MJ has finally been recorded by the original artist. And, let's face it, the song always fit R. Kelly's voice and style way better than MJ's. But that's pretty much the highlight of the album, minus the aforementioned "When A Woman Loves." The rest of the album, R. Kelly flirts with elements of classic soul, but suddenly relapses into his all-too-familiar rut of braggadocio and seduction songs with abysmal lyrics. Lows of the album include boring follow-up single "Love Letter" and the laughably dirty Taxi Cab. When will R. Kelly learn that we just want him to romance us and not weird us out? Perhaps the worst offense is the idiotic "Christmas Remix" of Love Letter which might have been remotely amusing, if not for Kelly's tired insistence on using the same instruments (that BLOODY flute!!) that he was obsessed with back on Chocolate Factory and pretending that "stepping" is a really cool new concept that he just invented. Please.

My Ranking: This album is deceptive. It's R. Kelly wanting you to believe he's turned soul, but it's really the same-old mediocre R. Kelly. He needs to take a dip back into the Chocolate Factory days to cook up some better-written songs.

Music Review: SWRMXS - HIM (2010)

2011-01-03T23:33:00.010-05:00

HIM is a much-maligned band. It's kind of like the kid who you knew in high school who wore suspenders and just tried way too hard to be cool, but you still kind of liked him anyway for trying. HIM is a joke within the metal community, their self-declared genre of "Love Metal," being neither loving nor metal. Most consider it more of an overindulgent alternative rock band with a great lead singer (Ville Valo has chops that even rival Chris Cornell).

It's easy to hate on HIM with this album saying "They're a metal band who did a techno remix album? Better call Macy's cause I smell a sellout" But if you look at SWRMXS as a companion album to the incredibly mediocre Screamworks: Love In Theory And In Practice (2010), things aren't so cut and dry.

Screamworks was plauged by shitty songwriting, and maybe that's why the remix album sounds nothing like it. This isn't the band's first foray into the remix world, though their 2007 attempt Uneasy Listening was a barely-remixed cash cow attempt. SWRMXS certainly has the band swimming in unfamiliar waters. Even though Valo has a great voice, most of the remixes are chopped n' screwed or feature heavily distorted samples of the original songs. It actually sounds like someone went into a boardroom and said "Hey we want you to make electronic songs that sound nothing like HIM and then slap our name on it." Only Morgan Page and Tiesto provide anything that conventionally sounds like a dance remix one could play on the radio (both standout tracks).

The rest of the album is pretty clever though. Tracks like “In The Arms Of Rain” (SALEM Remix) made by the extremely talented Drag/Witchhouse group Salem use heavily distorted and choppy samples to create an ethereal atmosphere in an almost trip-hop song with no vocals. The other type of remix would be typified by the “In Venere Veritas” (Huoratron Remix), extremely heavy electro that wouldn't sound out of place in the more underground electronic radio stations in the depths of the internet. But it's all done with HIM samples and conforming to the general song structure of the original, though I can't imagine anyone who isn't intimately familiar with electronic music would notice.

The album has really got to piss off HIM fans. As a remix album, it fails to capture the spirit and flavor of the original band, but I also wouldn't say Valo is giving the finger to his heartgram/chain-wearing fans either. It stands very much on it's own as a smart piece of electronic musicianship, featuring very talented remixers and producers.

My RANKING: It doesn't work as a remix album for a rock band, but it's worth a listen for fans of sample-based electronic music and really heavy electro. Give it a shot and let me know what you think.

Blogging Again!

2010-12-28T18:20:00.002-05:00

Hey everybody! Now that I have a job, I think I'm gonna return to blogging. My new plan of attack is to separate my movies/music/culture blog into three separate blogs and make each more professional, also allowing me to update each at my leisure. Sound good? I'll let you know when the format changes. Most likely, this'll continue to be my main music blog, hence the DJ Dustbunny moniker. Keep promoting me and I hope I'll have some cool content for you soon!

Music Review: Of the Blue Colour of the Sky - OK Go (2010)

2010-01-18T23:55:00.004-05:00

OK Go is one of those bands where the word “kitch” is associated to them more frequently than “great” to Tony the Tiger. It’s hard to take a band seriously who was essentially discovered by a low-budget Youtube viral. Oh No sold well enough to garner at least some respect for their novelty, and fans and critics both awaited their next album to be the baptism of fire for their legacy in rock music.

The new album Of the Blue Colour of the Sky, is kind OK Go’s Rubber Soul in the sense that they’re determined to establish themselves as not just a rock band writing sweeter-than-bubblegum pop songs, but also willing to experiment and take risks with new stylistic changes. And really, these aren’t just cosmetic changes… it’s almost like OK Go is a totally different band. Almost like a combination of the failed attempts of Under The Influence Of Giants and the lyrics-strong wailings of the Scissor Sisters. Changing treadmills and poppy chords for keyboards, complex melodies, and funky bass lines, OK Go has done a swan dive into the deep end without seeming like a swan song.

For the most part, the new style is funky, catchy, maybe not as marketable as their previous incarnation, but certainly entertaining.

“WTF?” is a catchy enough lead single with some, “guess you can’t play THIS on the radio” lyrics to shock old fans into submission. I’m guessing they’ll follow up with the electro-influenced “White Knuckles” as a second single, which is definitely the strongest song on the record. It’s nice though that introspective acoustic songs like “Last Leaf” can prove that OK Go shouldn’t be taken lightly. The raucous “Back From Kathmandu” is another album highlight.

It’ll be interesting to see how this “alternative” shift will affect the band’s popularity. Heck, it’s no secret that our American band spelled “colours” hoping to capture the attention of the more artsy/(pretentious?) anglophiles in the audience. Fans have already been a little up in arms about the change towards more “experimental” electronic music, but it’s not exactly like OK Go is selling out. If anything, the record is more focused as a whole than most other contemporary pop-rock albums yet this year, and certainly better than the overhyped OneRepublic album of 2009.

MY RATING: Amusing, catchy, experimentally electronic. Better maybe even for garnering new fans that for satisfying their old, but does enough of both to be replayed on your ipod for at least the next few months

Movie Review: The Blind Side (2009) & its "Christian" message

2010-01-02T23:21:00.019-05:00

As of today, The Blind Side is 2009's 9th highest grossing film based almost exclusively word-of-mouth promotion. The critical reception has been mediocre at best, but audiences continue to laud it and promote it. The secret...well, it's not much of a secret. It's being promoted as a Christian film.

I won't really go into what I thought of the film, nor will I discuss Christianity in the movie biz (a far too weighty topic for a mere college student). But I'm fascinated by the implications that this film has a "Christian" message and I want to examine exactly how the film can be seen as such. I'll try to remain as objective as possible, but expect some snark. Oh, and spoilers ahoy off the starboard bound. Read on, brave ones, if you've seen Blind Side already. Or read it anyway and spoil it. Your choice.

A word about the audience as I see it. The Christian influence on the success of films is notoriously under-appreciated by critics and Hollywood elite. Just look at The Golden Compass (2007) for the smoking gun. A lot of the hype about The Blind Side comes not only from the fact that it's a true story, a powerful factor indeed, but also for the fact that it's an inspirational film. And when I say inspirational, I say "remember your audience."

Well, we're done with the salad, so let's move on to the meat and potatoes. Are the characters in the film Christian?

Nominally speaking, absolutely. The Christian School is a Christian school, touting an adapted version of Matthew 19:26 above a its main entrance. No coincidence that Michael's entry through this gate is one of the better directed and most reprised shots in the film. White walls, white stones, white people... Michael's rather emo poetry does reveal his unfamiliarity with this world of upper class, conservative white Christians. So far, so characterized. But as Michael enters this supposedly Christian world, here's where things get complicated.

We are first introduced to the element of Christian morality when the football coach character (Ray McKinnon) makes his case to get Michael into school at St. Prestigious School. The coach seems like an affable dude and though we know he cares about having Michael play football, he states that bringing Michael in is the "right" thing to do. The "Christian" thing to do. And we definitely believe him. Underneath the dang seal is the word "Christian." It IS the right thing to do. Without quoting specific Bible verses, I think we can safely say that Jesus would approve.

But Michael is still neglected and has no place to stay. In a move straight from the heart, Sandra Bullock's character takes him in for more than just one night. No selfish motivation on her part. Not really even "white guilt" as her friends suggest. She does it out of the goodness of her heart. Let's face it, the Mom is a battle axe who totes poor Tim McGraw around by the throat in this movie. But when it comes to what's underneath the skin, the woman bleeds gold.

Bullock's character is by far the most Christian of the bunch. Her selfless action propels the film and takes a young kid out of a terrible situation. But it's not so black and white than that. Remember her surrounding friends? The ones with which she has that $18 salad. Charitable, upper class white women. Christians. But like a fly swatter, it's pretty clear these folks aren't the kind Christians that Ms. Tuohy is. Besides the not-so-subtle implications of racism and a general attitude of condensation, they're pretty rude to Mike and disrespectful to the Tuohy's intentions. The Blind Side tends to lump these kind of people together with the semi-pejorative term "rednecks." For the sake of simplicity, I'll keep using the term. Added to the fact that I love Jeff Foxworthy, there's something oddly self-indulgent about white, southern upper-class Christians calling each other rednecks. Or maybe it doesn't seem that way to you yet.

Let's continue. The first football game Michael plays tells a lot about the kind of Christians we're encountering in this film. The one racist redneck is at first repelled by "sticks and stones" and turning the other cheek by the Touhy fam. But as time progresses, Sandra Bullock plants a verbal foot up the man's ass. Firmly. Not to say that Christianity doesn't have something to say about sticking up for others, but it's pretty revealing when the so-called "Christian" attendees of a friendly southern football game turn ugly so fast. That's the way it IS in real life too, just in case you people reading aren't from the south. The man in the film might have well as used the "n" word. He was spouting just about everything else a PG-13 movie could take. But in addition to the repulse by Bullock, we get a lot of derision and name-calling, dumbing our opponents down into hicks and rednecks. Interesting.

To me, it's interesting that the film spends so much time separating THESE Christians (racist, mouth-breathing hicks) from Ms. Tuohy & co. The movie does make denominations of it's own by exposing the latent hypocrisies in the Christians practicing the Christianity.

Better example. A later conversation between Ms. Tuohy and Coach Cotton reveals that he pulled all of his strings to get Michael into school so he could play football. Ms. Tuohy retorts, "I thought you said it was your Christian duty." He opts not to give a Bill Clinton type response defining terms or equivocating. His silence gives us the answer. Ouch. We honestly DID believe him earlier when he gave us that meaningful speech about being a Christian school. And now he's just a hypocrite like all the other Christians in the film. No band-aid could fix this. Although it wasn't presented as a major part of the film, I definitely did a double take on this scene.

But that's the interesting part about The Blind Side isn't it? It attempts to divine what is truly Christian in its own way by effectively picking and choosing what constitutes real Christians. The most underrated scene in the movie, I think, is when they hire the tutor (the inimitable Kathy Bates). Plump, deep-hearted Kathy Bates quips that she would have taught at St. Hypocrites Christian academy but she wasn't "Christian enough" for them. Her not so subtle admission that she "has some doubts" might as well be a sign saying "Hello, my name is Atheist."And it only gets better. She pauses, saying "I might as well tell you..." cause, oh goodness, she's got some deep dark secret that might prevent her from being Michael's tutor. The words on EVERYONE'S minds in the theater were definitely "I'm a homosexual," but we're treated with the humorous admission that "I'm a democrat." In this context though, they might as well be the same thing, and that I think, is a victory for The Blind Side's emphasis on Christian tolerance. An interesting angle, don't you think?

And let's not forget Michael's attack on Ms. Tuohy upon NCAA investigation. Though we KNOW that Ms. Tuohy was being genuine in letting Michael in, she herself has doubts about her own ability to give him free choice in where he plays football. Let's pull a "stop...Hammertime" on this point. It's a fascinating psychological implication that, even in Ms. Tuohy's noble intentions, she may have accidentally manipulated poor Michael into choosing Ole Miss unfairly. What she's really asking herself is, did I do the Christian thing; did I in my own selfishness ever have the idea in my head that he'd be an asset to the school sports program? The audience clearly knows that this is a resounding "no", but the very introduction of any form of doubt about it... Well, it's certainly a strong point in the film's depth. Was it possible that her good intentions were clouded? If we consider The Blind Side as a theological film, this makes an interesting point. It MAY have been selfish... BUT what matters ultimately is that the choice is up to Michael. To those who see a "the ends seem to justify the means" conflict here, I'll say this. For the film to work, and the actual real life story to work, we have to know something about the characters. And the film does a marvelous job of giving us characters. We as the audience know that if Ms. Tuohy was REALLY concerned about sports, she'd have never told her husband to turn the car around in the first place. She did a generous thing -- the Christian thing -- out of the goodness of her heart.

All the other characters in the film can't see that. Even dopey, football-watching Tim McGraw husband can't understand that. She is the true Christian of the film. The polarization between her and all the rest is the difference between what The Blindside presents as Christianity and faux-Christianity. And without being preachy or overextended, The Blindside offers its on very specific take on what actions accompany both groups. Tolerance and diversity is as much of a "Christian" message in this film as is generosity and love towards strangers. Whether you see this is a Christian (no air quotes) message, I'll leave up to you to decide.

I'll roll this into a fine point. The Blind Side isn't a Christian movie; it's a movie with Christian character(s?) doing "Christian" things. As I think I've demonstrated from flogging a dead horse, there IS a difference.

Given what I perceive to be the Christian message of the film, it's interesting to see how the marketing of The Blind Side has advanced from being an "inspirational" film to being a "Christian" film. We'll see how the film stands the test of time with the Christian audience AND how the film does with the...well, decidedly less Christian Academy.

Funny closing: I was just watching Ben Hur... Charlton Heston makes a pretty convincing Jew. Don't believe me? Ask Charlton Heston.

More apologies and forthcoming updates

2010-01-02T23:17:00.002-05:00

Hello folks. It's been a rough '09 on me, as I think you all know, but I'm "resolving" to write more in '10. Especially movie reviews. I've got some ideas rolling 'round in my head that I think you might find interesting, so I'd love to share them with you. Expect them in the upcoming weeks. Until then, go see some of the 2009 movies, including Avatar and The Blind Side and tell me what you think. My opinions? Well...you'll just have to wait and see.

Pseudo-bohemian comics galore, Batman!

2009-10-24T20:44:00.003-04:00

I'd heard about "Ghost World" in the context of "Oh, so you HAVEN'T read the best comic ever? You should get on that." I always love conversations like that. In any case, I DID get down on it, popped in some K-C & Jojo (what were you thinking?) and read me some Ghost World.

Daniel Clowes' comic masterpiece didn't make many waves as a critical success until it's surprising underground following started causing a stir. This bizarrely drawn and decidedly anti-authoritarian style resonated with teens all over, trapped in a post-"The Graduate" universe, it seems. Eventually, glasses-wielding British critics read it and lauded it as one of the greatest comics of the era. Indeed they pinned the nail right on the pennyloafers.

A little bit about the premise. Becky and Enid are two high school graduates/hipsters with an uncertain future in a bleak small town. Their "Calvin & Hobbes"-esque wanderings and critical attitude towards mainstream suburban culture provide for plenty of laughs and deep introspection about their attitudes towards society and each other.

Clowes has a command of medium less like a wine and more like an artisan soda. Fizzy, bizarre graphic stylings, and slightly grotesque realism characterize the superbly paced visual style. And Clowes writes knowing his audience well. Enid and Becky are hilarious, snarky, deep characters whose shenanigans reveal more about themselves than most comic series ever do. Each panel is a well-crafted burst of thought and wit, compounded together weaving a fascinating story with some of the most memorable characters I've ever seen.

Highly recommended for all comic lovers, especially fans of "underground comics" (Bone much?...Don't answer that). My next project is to watch the 2001 film adaptation, which is apparently quite critically revered. Possibly due to the fact that Clowes wrote the adapted screenplay, but hey, what do I know? I haven't seen it yet. More on that later.

Updates: it's funny how blogs fall by the wayside

2009-10-23T19:05:00.002-04:00

Ah, my friends who I have neglected for so long. It's hard keeping up with the joneses isn't it? And even harder keeping up with a blog. Especially with all the crazy stuff that's been going on with my life right now (of which I'm sure you're already aware), my creative outlets have certainly suffered. Here's to a resolution that I'll pick it back up again. Here's me giving a renuwed interest in blogging: not only introducing you to cool new music and movies, but giving maybe some more personal insights into this crazy world on which I walk around once in a while.

Something cool, gothic, AND validating.

2009-08-24T13:51:00.003-04:00

Guess what this weeks' Discovery Download on itunes is? That's right, kiddies who follow my blog! IAMX! IAMX, being Chris Corner's awesome gothic techno-rock band that I've been blogging about for quite some time.

Just a brief review: Chris Corner of Sneaker Pimps fame started IAMX as a side project that garnered a small following in the English goth/industrial cirlces. IAMX released it's second album, "The Alternative" in 2007 to moderate sucess and then re-released it with some re-recorded tracks in 2008 for American markets. Spurned by some fun marketing campaigns and a sucessful tour, IAMX received nice critical kudos and released their third album: "Kingdom of Welcome Addiction" in 2009.

Amercia's favorite indietronica diva, Imogen Heap, caught wind of IAMX and Chris Corner and recorded a track called "My Secret Friend" for the new album. And apparently, itunes "discovered" this track too. I say "discovered" here as they tend to advertise as if these bands never existed before itunes... In any case, I'll stop my whining. I'm ecstatic for IAMX! It's a terrific opportunity for their music to get out in the net fo free! Plus, the song is pretty well done.

Check it out, download "My Secret Friend" from itunes and check out IAMX's previous albums for a fantasy ride of The Cure-esque gothic rock mixed with a little bit of Sneaker Pimps....It's pretty excellent.

Movie Review: District 9 (2009)

2009-08-15T23:07:00.009-04:00

Oh yes...I'm back blogging with a vengeance, this time inspired by the greatest movie of 2009 (as of yet). First off, gotta say, Peter Jackson never has been one to make "simple" or one-off movies. Every undertaking he makes as a producer is a sweeping, epic story. District 9 continues his trend of Lord of the Rings and the (misguided, but epic) 4 hour King King and creates perhaps the most deep and exciting sci-fi film since The Matrix.

A VERY brief plot summary: Aliens have accidentally landed on earth and are "rescued" by humans. Tensions with inter-species conflicts escalate and they are placed in the "ghettos" of District 9. The movie follows one man, Wikus van de Merwe, who is deeply involved in the concentration camp like system of District 9 and shows his... well... "metamorphosis" into the harsh reality of alien captivity.

District 9 is brilliant; oh yes it is. But I'm going to point out briefly WHY it's so brilliant, plus some stuff that critics have been missing. The movie ALREADY has universal acclaim for some of the "meat n' potatoes" of filmmaking : great cinematography, terrific special effects and very skilled direction, courtesy Neill Blomkamp, nerd idol. Neill IS quite the guy in the nerd community, having directed all 3 Halo short films, and done animation animation for Stargate SG1 and Smallville. He's a newcomer to the big screen (I mean, I hadn't even heard of him before), but he does a terrific job of bringing the story to life.

Now, let's talk about why else it's brilliant. Number one reason is Sharlto Copley. This previously unknown actor absolutely give the movie all of it's emotional shock value due to his completely authentic portrayal of Wikus van de Merwe. He is quite good and, I'm suspecting, Oscar-worthy. Number two reason is that District 9 is a "message movie" with punch. Uncharacteristic (perhaps) of Peter Jackson's movies, District 9 pulls NO punches in blood, gore, body-counts, deliriously uncomfortable scenes. Some of it can be intense...but I say, grimace and bear it. Every blow, every blood-splattered corpse, it's all worth it. All of with clear backdrops of discussions of "human rights," race/gender/species, human cruelty, betrayal, etc... It's much like the Matrix in that it pairs very probing questions about human society with kick-ass alien butt-kicking action. Well, chest-kicking in the case of the aliens. It's a sci-fi movie that's got action, suspense, and all that jazz...but terrific emotion in all of the conflict that draws the audience into every scene.

MY RATING: District 9 is a must-see. Easily one of the best sci-fi films in recent memory, possibly even the best sci-fi film of the 21st century (sorry, AI: Artificial Intelligence...). In short, you GOTTA SEE IT, folks.

Episode 5, 07/02/2009 – Oh, and there’s the Rosetta Stone.

2009-07-17T00:43:00.001-04:00

My last full day in London was devoted to my Mecca: the British Museum. Oh, and how found am I of the British Museum. The last time I went to the BM in the summer of 2008, it was completely overwhelming. As with so many of the galleries, almost every piece is crucial to our understanding of these ancient cultures. And so many of the pieces themselves are legendary, like the Rosetta Stone, several complete copies of the Book of the Dead, the Sutton Hoo helmet, etc. I resolved on my second trip to the museum, that I would take things more slowly, focusing only on the things I most wanted to see and hoping that I could get through everything in a single day. We started early, around 10 I think, and went straight to Egypt. Sorry Oceania, Korea, late Victorian porcelain, clocks of the ages, Africa, and the 20^th century in general: I just didn’t have time to get to you guys.

Triaging, we started in Egypt, as I said. First thing to note is that in Egypt, there are always 100 million screaming children with coloring books trying to shove American tourists out of the way. Oh, and at the exibit about Egypt, too, there are always 100 million screaming children with coloring books trying to shove American tourists out of the way. It wasn’t quite as bad this time around. I WAS able to hear myself think. The museum moved the Rosetta Stone to the bottom floor, so that thinned the crowds a little. It’s a little scary looking at a dead 6000 year-old corpse, better preserved than you when you die. And their teeth! Geez, I never wanted to brush my teeth so badly before in my life. One poor woman actually died of a bad abscess, a consequence of all of her corn meal being infested with dust and rocks over the years of desert winds. Ouch. Sorry madam. Ancient Egypt is irresistibly fascinating for me, especially middle and late kingdoms. The exhibit on Akhenaton was sadly gone, but the rest of it was just as thrilling as the first time I saw it. Highlight still being the famous “weighing of the hearts” passage from the Book of the Dead in full living Technicolor in front of my eyes…with zombies. No, really. Check it out and see.

Moving on, moving on. I spent a lot of time in the middle east exhibits, notably Islamic art/architecture, which was just getting started in 2008, but is now a flourishing exhibit. I found it cool that some of the relics/pottery/cool ass swords were found originally in Spain in places like Granada and Sevilla. Gotta rep my Muslim homie ancients. After Islam and Egypt was East Asia. The Japan gallery hadn’t changed a bit, but the scrolls and swords were pretty and shiny and that made me happy. The China gallery had acquired some new loveliness, especially a detailed scroll depicting scenes from Sayuki, the Journey West. Extremely cool and very rare. We perused some minor exhibits (not worth commenting on, tragically) and went to the new stuff, backwards of what I had originally intended.

The BM had a completely new exhibit for me. It was titled “Enlightenment” and served two functions. First, to air condition me, as the rest of the museum lacked A/C and the heat was SWELTERING. Second, to recreate how the original museum would have looked like in the 1800’s and to compile some of the original objects displayed in its early stages. Pretty neat, yah? It was fascinatingly cool. I especially loved the exhibit on sorcery LMAO still a topic of interest for scientists at the time. Also: it was funny how much of the history the old British folk got WRONG. For example, arrowheads were considered “fairy weapons” by some (seriously), and a lot of fossilized sea-creatures mistaken for mythical beasts. Oh, old British folk…Well, anyway, science has evolved. The new exhibit was a good break from my usual forte, and allowed us to cool down a little. Afterwards, we exited the museum to have lunch at a pub called “Munchkins” (LOLZ) located only a few blocks from the museum. I decided to be brave and sample my first bit of authentic British cuisine. I had a pork pie and it, believe it or not, was quite delicious. We went back to the museum after that.

Greek and Roman statues and pottery were the next steps and here is where we started hitting the wall. It was SO DAGGUM HOT IN THAT MUSEUM. Maybe the A/C busted, because confused-looking staff members were toting around portable A/C units to cool themselves. Greek and Roman pottery CAN all start to look the same, sadly, if you don’t know the mythology. We got overwhelmed by the mass of it all, moved on to statuary, (oh, Hadrian…) and then exited. We did manage to get to see the Rosetta Stone again, and like before, it’s practically a religious experience just looking at it. We owe so much to it…

I could really go on with everything else that we saw but I would bore you. Rest assured more details are available for the detail-minded. We dined again at Yo! (a different location though, I didn’t realize it was a chain restaurant). I need to expand that chain into the Americas, cause dammit, it’s too good to just be on one side of the Atlantic. Anyways, on to the other white meat of the day: SHAKESPEARE! Remember waaaaay back when I told you in Episode 1 that I was buying tickets to the Globe Theatre? Well, our efforts came to fruition that night when we were treated to EXCELLENT seats to see As You Like It. As You Like It is such a bizarre play, but I loved it immensely, especially the experience of being there. The acting was absolutely 100% top notch. The play was fast-paced, hilarious, rewarding to people who know the language well, visually spectacular, and most of all: fun. It was great fun. After the strange musical Monty-Pythonesque song-n’-dance number at the end, everyone took a bow. We walked out into the chill night air and back across the Millennium Bridge and I said goodbye to London. It certainly won’t be the last goodbye I’ll say to it.

We had the early morning flight out, so that was it for London. I want to thank you all again for keeping up with the blog and for listening to my ramblings. I hope it has been vicarious fun for you as it was fun for me. Now, I’ll be back to regular blogging, so stay tuned.

Episode 4, 07/01/2009 – Henry VIII, Baller or nasty ho??

2009-07-16T01:45:00.002-04:00

When I made plans to return to England, I wanted to do things that I hadn’t already done before. Hampton Court was definitely on the list. An extremely brief summary: Hampton Court was a court that Henry VIII, pimp of England and father of Elizabeth I, made in the countryside to get away from the hassles of court in London (and the plague). The countryside is not so much countryside anymore and the royal family no longer uses the palace, but it’s now a very lovely museum which charges JUST below the fine line of “ridiculous” for entry. Dad and I took a 45 minute train ride from Victoria to get to Hampton Court and began our journey into the past.

Some commentary: it’s easy to understand Henry VIII by looking at his palace. Why do I say this? It’s the character of the place, really. The hunting lodge was where Henry would receive his guests, which doubled as the main dining hall. His bed was about 3 times larger than he was (and that’s saying something). And his page’s room was located RIGHT next to his, in the event that he need the slightest thing, he barely had to mumble to get the page’s attention. It’s good to be the king. Henry was such a complicated character. On one hand, he’s like the precursor to the entire show “Entourage.” On the other hand, he had so many venereal diseases, the guy’s body literally jiggered around when he was sitting down. Ick. Poor Catherine Par… It’s funny to me because Henry’s…err…lusty desires for a male heir created a whole new religion. A single man’s penis brought millions of future souls into the Church of England. And the man wasn’t too abashed about creating a gorgeous chapel to make peace with God… In any case, I’ll stick to describing the palaces, what say?

There are two palaces in Hampton Court. Henry VIII’s palace, which he created and used in his lifetime and wasn’t used much past then. About half of the spectacular grounds were furnished under his reign. And then you’ve got the William & Mary palace. Like in modern times, William & Mary loved the location, but weren’t crazy about Henry’s decorating sense. What’s a decent self-respecting monarchial duo to do?? Build another palace right next to/on top of it! Note that this is in a completely different style (Baroque) to Henry’s Tudor fancies. Oh, how I love the English…Or whatever William and Mary were…I’m not exactly sure. Netherlands, methinks.

In any case, Henry’s palace IS impressive, very Tudor and all that. A spectacular chapel finished by Christopher Wren is the highlight. We met this cute old British lady who helped explain to me while the styles/genres are all funky (solution: Christopher Wren designed it). She worked there…and you could tell she enjoyed it. I love meeting people like that. After we toured Henry’s palace, we went and had some victuals in the Hampton Court cafeteria, and coffee since I was half-dead from sleep.

We resumed the tour by going through part of the William & Mary side, then interspersing it with grounds exploring. The William & Mary side certainly is more elaborate and Baroque (and you know how I hate Baroque), but I think I ended up liking it better because it was better preserved and interesting. I learned a whole lot more from it than I think I did with Henry VIII (FAIL on the part of the audioguide by the way).

Interesting side note: William & Mary had some pretty neat taste in artwork, including a decent collection of original Caravaggios. I first heard about Caravaggio from David, one of my tios from Sevilla. Caravaggio was a 17^th century dude who pioneered Baroque painting and has got some CRAZY good pieces (look up his version of Judith beheading Holofernes if you want a shocker). Oh, and a clarification: my beef isn’t with Baroque painting. I love it very much. My beef, so to speak, is with Baroque architecture. In any case, Caravaggio is excellent, and it was really nice getting to see some of his better works in an unexpected place.

Now to the grounds. The grounds are the best part about Hampton Court. Henry’s are great little clumps of rose gardens, immaculately manicured (even today), flecked with statues of Greco-Roman mythological characters. Plus, it harbors (lolz) the largest continuous grape vine in Britain (lol pun…laugh, child, laugh!). William & Mary’s side is the larger, more sparse side. But then again, Henry’s side has a tennis court. Plus, a labyrinth... *naughty giggles*. I’ll just leave it at that.

Hampton Court really is a blast, and I’d recommend it highly. After finishing up with it (and the gift shoppe), we went back and caught the last bits of Wimbledon on the telly before dinner. Oh, and speaking of dinner, remember way back when we had our obnoxious/ineffective tour guide for the Bath/Stonehenge tour? Well, he had recommended to us “Ask,” a cheap Italian restaurant chain for dinner. Now, how do you pronounce that, exactly? When he was talking about it, it was like a scene out of “Singin’ in the Rain.” Ahsk, as he said, is the American equivalent of Ask. After that snobby and confusing suggestion, we decided to check it out that night. It was neither good Italian food nor cheap, and the portion sizes were too small. It was also unbearably hot in the restaurant. Thanks, tour guide. We got cookies from the market and went home.

Episode 3, 6/30/09 – Turners, Constables, Gainesboros, Neal’s Yard…and you.

2009-07-13T18:44:00.001-04:00

Wednesday was chock-full of art museums and visits to some of England’s premier nerd hotspots. We did SO much and packed so much in such a tiny little space, I can’t possibly write down everything I saw. There’s just too much. It became a little overwhelming after a while too, because EVERY single work in some of these art galleries is a masterpiece. It’s hard to give each individual work the attention that perhaps it deserves. I’ll detail exactly WHERE we went and then make some general observations about what we saw there.

We woke up early and went to the Tate Britain, companion museum to the aforementioned Tate Modern. Whereas the Tate Modern is dedicated to all modern art, British, Spanish, etc., the Tate Britain concentrates specifically on the elite British painters over the ages. I’m not particularly versed in English painting. Most of the knowledge that I had of it has long since disappeared, so it was nice to have a most-authentic refresher of my memory. The museum itself isn’t tremendously large, but does a decent job of categorizing and classifying the paintings. Notable amongst what we saw were some classic paintings by the “Big Three” of English painting, so to speak. John Constable, Thomas Gainsboro, and J.M.W. Turner (oh, and some people add Joshua Reynolds in place of Turner…but it depends on how you ask). These folks are considered to be the Velazquezes of English painting. Turner is easily my favorite for his semi-realist/semi-impressionist style. The Tate Britain was allright…but it was deceptive. Apparently Wikipedia lied to me when it mentioned that the Tate Britain housed some works by my favorite surrealist painter Salvador Dali. In fact, Tate Britain contains NOTHING from non-English painters…and it certainly wasn’t at the Tate Modern (trust me, I checked). I left the Tate Britain satisfied, but at the same time disappointed.

It was getting around lunchtime so we stopped at an authentic British pub, called “Silver Cross.” The food was good. I should take a moment to comment on the “setup” of the traditional British pub. You walk in, take a seat yourself (a lot of people sit at the bar), you search over the menu for what you want to eat, you go up to the bar, order, and pay in advance. They give you a table marker and/or deliver the food to your table. And themz British…they love their beer…even at 12:30 in the afternoon.

Next spot: the National Gallery. The Nat. Gal. is the largest of the museums dedicated to painting, and the most diverse. I was quite pleased that there’s a terrific selection of works from just about every period, and from masters of British, French, Spanish, and German heritage. On the Spanish front, the museum contained a few lesser Picassos, one Miro, several Goyas (one of which famous), and zero Dali (oh well). In terms of other paintings, we saw it all! Everything from medieval Madonna and Childs to some “cartoons” (sketches) of Michelangelo and Leonardo DaVinci, to the Pre-Raphaelites, to Van Gogh and other Impressionists, to the classic battle of the Manet vs. the Monet, to the landscapes of Turner (a special exhibit was dedicated to the seascapes of Turner), Constable, etc., to even some more modern works like the hideous Mark Rothko and some new artists like Ellen Gallagher who I had never heard of before, but I ended up loving after we were finished. I do love the National Gallery.

As if the first two weren’t enough, we went to ANOTHER museum: the National Portrait gallery. I had been to the National Gallery before, but never to the National Portrait Gallery, so that made our trip especially significant for me. I ended up liking the Nat. Por. Gall. a whole lot. Contained in the gallery are portraits used by the history books, uber-famous portraits of artists, leaders, statesmen, kings…it was like a trip through a Norton Anthology. For example, I’m sure you’ve seen somewhere the famous full-length portrait of Elizabeth I. She’s standing on a globe with a scepter and orb in her hand, her face painted white and countenance confident. That painting, reprinted in pretty much every single book EVER written about Elizabeth I resides in that gallery. Add to that THE definitive portraits of (just a brief list): Henry VIII, Charles I, Charles II (etc.), Milton, Shelly, Mary Shelly, Blake, Keats, Wordsworth, Disraeli…it was the hall of fame for all persons famous and British. I particularly had a nerdorgasm by seeing Shakespeare and Byron’s portraits. The Shakespeare one is important because it is the only one that has a reliable chance of having been painted during his lifetime. Such coolness.

Okay, so now I’ve got to tell you about Neal’s Yard. The first rule about Neal’s Yard is “You don’t talk about Neal’s Yard.”….Well, it’s not EXACTLY like that. But Neal’s Yard is so not-touristy and such a good story to tell, I feel like I should start from the absolute beginning in order to tell you (shhhhhh) the beautiful secrets of this place. When I first went to London in the Summer of 2008, my mom and I went wandering the city with no particular goal. We stopped in this neighborhood called Covent Garden, which is famous for being the London equivalent of old SoHo. It’s got lots of high-end artisan shops and some designer clothing stores. All fine and good and everything, but I didn’t come to London to shop for £70 t-shirts. So we wandered a little more and we went through a few back alleys and came upon this place called Neal’s Yard.

Neal’s Yard is a tiny collection of shops built in a courtyard where all the back alleys meet. And it’s one of my favorite places on the planet earth. Neal’s Yard cannot be found by the casual tourist. We only accidentally fell upon it by mere chance. When one walks into the courtyard, it is immediately recognizable that this is a special place. Everything is vertical, from the decorations, to the street signs, to the flowers hanging on the windows. Neal’s Yard shines with charm, with funk, with what the old folk call “quaint.” The shops are tiny little boutique shops dedicated to things like skater fashion and herbal remedies. The restaurants are sandwich shops and salad bars. And the great thing is that the yard only comprises perhaps 800 square feet. Neal’s Yard has a spirit and a vibe of youth and of funk that I can only call veritably English. It’s tucked away in Covent Garden away from prying eyes, almost like one of those old fashioned Easter eggs of old. The locals there speak loudly and with soft giggles rolling like a soft rain in their speech. The air, mixed with bizarre perfumes, clashes almost harmoniously with the soft classical music from the salad bar and the post-punk from the skater fashion place in the alley. My mom and I went into one store, Neal’s Yard Remedies, and had a 10+ minute conversation with the store attendant (I’m convinced that if anyone on earth were the corporeal manifestation of a fairy, she would’ve been it) about the medicinal properties of clove. We bought some clove soap for a gift and left Neal’s Yard.

One year later, in the current summer of 2009, I decided to find Neal’s Yard again. This was no easy task. Like I mentioned before, Neal’s Yard can only be found by those who have been there before. Lol and I only happened upon it by accident the first time. Dad and I went to Covent Garden, like before, and tried to find Neal’s Yard. We spent about a full hour trying to find it (with about 10 minutes spent going into David & Goliath, aka indie t-shirts galore), but we COULD NOT FIND IT AGAIN. I was losing hope… It’s a whole lot harder than one may think because Neal’s Yard is not listed on any map. It is just too small. And it’s not very well documented on the internet either. Eventually in our wanderings, my memory caught a scent of a familiar sight, a skater fashion store that I remembered from last time. Sure enough, turn the corner, into the back alley, and there you have it: Neal’s Yard. I was so glad to have found it again. The very same vibe, the very same stores…. Nothing had changed in a whole year. The air still smelled of perfume and youth, and all around were people talking, texting, twirling their sunglasses, eating salads…enjoying themselves. Everything was practically the same. The skate shop still blared loud post-punk and the salad bar had its selection of classical muzak. Neal’s Yard Remedies was still there, though minus the saleswoman who reminded me of a fairy. I walked in and bought some clove soap for a gift and left Neal’s Yard again…glad, for some reason, that I found it almost exactly like I left it.

There you have it, that was the story of Neal’s Yard. Maybe sometime if we go to London together, I’ll take you there (if I can find it). After Neal’s Yard, we went back to the hotel and ate dinner at an Indian restaurant, which was delicious (I had lamb) and expensive. After that, it was time to bid adieu to Neal’s Yard in reality and welcome it back in dream.

Episode 2, 6/29/09 – I want to conquer Bath/Yo!

2009-07-07T17:00:00.004-04:00

The next day was epic and chock-full of fascinating new things that I loved every minute of. One again, being nerds of the first degree, I and my father put on our list a bus trip out to Stonehenge and Salisbury to look at the Cathedral there. We managed to find a cool bus tour that would take us to Salisbury, Stonehenge, and Bath (pronounced “Baawth”) and back to London, all with a guided tour and a lunch included. Our tour guide was this salty little British dude called David, who had an attitude that almost (ALMOST) matched his ego. He was amusing enough, but wasn’t nerdy enough to keep me interested in what he was trying to say. Most of the time, I went off and did my own thing.

Okay, so first thing’s first. The bus ride to Salisbury took a little over an hour. Being exhausted from late night blogging, slept most of the way there, but did get a chance to enjoy the countryside a little. We went to Salisbury, which is a charming little town, very small, very British, the kind of town you’d imagine James Herriot was writing about in Scotland in “All Creatures Great and Small.” The Cathedral itself is gorgeous, a prime example of English Gothic. It’s extremely well-kept and under constant restoration. David (our ineffective tour guide) was more into telling unfunny/kitchy stories about the sepulchers, so I went off on my own to explore the magnificent stained glass and fan vaulting. Also housed within the Cathedral at Salisbury is one of the 10 surviving copies of the Magna Carta, which was pretty neat to see. It’s housed within the “Chapter House,” so-called because one was expected to read a full chapter from the Bible before conducting business in the room.

I’ve got to talk about this experience next, because I’ve told some of you about it and others not. Well, it’s no secret that Sevilla had been quite a…mystical…is that the right word?... let’s call it that for simplicities sake. It’s no secret that Sevilla was a challenging/interesting environment for all activities paranormal. Imagine my surprise to find something paranormal in Salisbury, in jolly old England! Here’s the facts-only version: I can feel weird things in general. And I certainly felt something in the cloisters in Salisbury. First thing I felt when going in there was that there were presences there…To me, they felt like recently-dead people. Like they had JUST died. Again, not a scary feeling at all, but just a feeling like indeed, they were there, interacting with me. Or, better said, just there. I snooped around and found that indeed there were people buried in the center yard of the cloisters, and in fact, some had been buried quite recently, one in 2006. Interesting, no? I’ve enclosed a picture of the grounds, not really to validate my story any: believe it or don’t, but so that you can get an idea of the beauty of the place.

After the incredibly cool Salisbury, we boarded the bus for Stonehenge. Stonehenge is SO BIZARRE! First of all: it’s out in the middle of nowhere, completely removed from any signs of civilization or any other natural landmarks of any kind. It’s situation on the Salisbury plain, with no particular purpose to its location…and that’s that lol. Stonehenge is both impressive and extremely frustrating. Here’s this incredible monument to something that someone somehow moved from Wales all the way down here. It was apparently important enough that for 1000 years people kept moving the stones down to this spot to make this bizarre monument to…who knows. The place is very photogenic, and I took plenty of cool photos, but at the same time, it sure is perplexing…

Ah, and now to Bath, my new favorite spot in England. Well, we got there and immediately I fell in love with the town of Bath. In the great weather we were having, Bath sparkles like a bright bubble in the sun, that’s the best way I can describe it. It’s fantastically scenic, combining funky shops and touristy things with fountains, monuments, historic buildings, thin roads, clean parks, cool air…it’s a little bit like heaven. Our first stop was actually NOT to explore the town, but instead to the Roman baths, perfectly preserved since the 3^rd century A.D. It was incredible to see such a well-preserved Roman monument, and the audio guide was very helpful to understand how the natural hot spring were utilized by the Romans to create this interesting combination between religion and relax. Oh, and in other news: I tried some of the natural spring water…It was awful. Mary I, Queen of England, described the water as “the water that is left over after boiling eggs”…and it tasted exactly like the water that is left over after boiling eggs…Yuck. But still fun to try. After the baths, we got some time to explore the awesome town of Bath. We wanted to go inside the Abbey, quite possibly one of the coolest Gothic buildings I’ve ever seen, but it was closed for the graduation ceremony of Bath university…What a place to be graduated in! In any case, we wandered more around the town. I have decided that when I conquer England, I will erect my palace in Bath, cause it’s pretty much the coolest city ever.

The bus ride back to London took a few hours, and we got to see the pretty rolling hills of the countryside, which was new for me, since I’m more used to urban England. When we got back, we spent some time shopping in Piccadilly Circus. Now, I’ve GOT to tell you about where we went to dinner. It’s officially my new favorite restaurant…ever. It’s a sushi joint called “Yo!” and it’s the funkiest damn thing on the other side of the Atlantic. It’s decorated like a combination between arc deco and “harajuku” and its musical selection was like they took my ipod and put it on shuffle (eg. Chemical Bros., Moby, The Cure, etc.). Everything was compartmentalized: you went to the table and were presented with holes in the table that held chopsticks, ginger, wasabi, soysauce, soysauce dishes, and a choice between flat and bubbly water. It was fantastic. And the sushi came “floating” on a conveyor belt in little plastic “bubbles.” Plus the quality was fantastic. Since it was a Monday, we were treated to their “Blue Monday” special (conjurs up New Order melodies, doesn’t it?), which meant that everything was a cheap 2.15 pounds. We nommed away at this delicious sushi and enjoyed the fun atmosphere. It’s easily the most fun I’ve ever had eating in London. Just opening a place like “Yo!” back in the States…wow, that sure would be incredible/quite profitable. It was a terrific memory and the perfect end to a perfect day.

Episode 1, 06/28/09 – London Calling, yet again.

2009-07-01T19:53:00.003-04:00

Hello once again, folks! In the spirit of keeping the blog more current, I’m updating more frequently now that I have more time. I’ll give you all the details about my fantastic England trip, and as always, try to provide witty commentary on all of the eccentricities of our cousin folk across the pond.

Well, I got in the day before, but I was SO dead tired so I reunited with my father, got some fish, and chips and went to bed. That was that.

Next day was the first official day in Jolly Ole England. It feels so good to be back in London, my favorite city in the world. So much has changed from when I was here a year ago, but at the same time, it’s still the same city. Everything feels a whole lot younger, a whole lot hipper, cleaner, and certainly hotter. This trip, I’m concentrating on all the things I didn’t do last time, and doing again some of the things I enjoyed so much the first time. I’ll spare no expense in giving you all the gory details on this one folks. London is a Calling (if you’ll pardon The Clash reference) that I simply can’t avoid telling.

Day one included some new stuff to fill my nerdy preoccupation with museums and art and all that. The newly opened Tate Modern art museum was the first stop, a separate compendium from the Tate Britain containing all the modern stuff from the late 1800’s till now. It was not quite as large as the building makes it out to be, but there is plenty packed in the space. It’s a fine museum, but lacks organization. You kind of gotta wade amongst the icky stuff (that idiot Mark Rothco) to find the gems. Some of my favorites were some very famous pieces by the Surrealist Joan Miro and pre-Cubism Picasso. Since I had learned all about this in my Spanish art class, it was pretty much a nerdorgasm. Oh wait, did I mention nerdorgasm? I totally had one when I realized that one of my idols/favorite artists of all time was kept within these hallowed walls. Wedged between a room filled with Russian WWI-era propaganda and more abstract Ukranian stuff is the Andy Warhol room. ZOMG. Andy Warhol! The godfather of Pop Art and one of my all-time biggest spiritual/artistic influences. They had one of his (many) reproductions of Marilyn Monroe and another extremely famous piece called “Gun” (yes, I know that he has about 100 pieces called “Gun,” but this one was the big one). Plus, the wallpaper of the damn exhibit was Warhol’s own “Cow” wallpaper. It’s so hip, so nonsensical, so popart. It’s delicious. Almost as delicious as Campbell’s Soup, really.

Moving on, that was about it for the Tate Modern. On to the next stop, which was the Globe Theater to purchase tickets for “As You Like It” for Thursday. Expect lots of details about that later. I’d already done the whole Globe tour thing, so no new developments there. Now, I’ve got to have a discourse about the food here. Yes, British food sucks. That’s the simple fact. Pork pies taste icky, and tomatoes for breakfast is just a bad idea. That aside, the food in London is spectacular because it is such a cosmopolitan city. We went into this one REALLY super chic, super cool hotel for lunch. I’ll show you some artistic pictures I took of it. It had the best tuna salad sandwich and chips I had tasted in a long while. Aaah, back in the saddle again with London cuisine, indeed. It’s good to be home. Post lunch, next stop on the nerdmobile was new for me: the Victoria and Albert Museum.

The Victorianalbert (that’s how it’s pronounced, really) is a big arts/crafts/ “wears” museum. It’s incredibly cool. The kind of stuff that it has ranges from Medieval stained glass and silver collections to Japanese cookware and houseware to Persian rugs to British Jewelry over the ages…And even a small collection of paintings by masters like Turner and Reynolds. The whole museum is incredibly overwhelming, it’s impossible to do the whole thing in a day, let alone a few hours. We triaged what we wanted to see (Japanese swords, British Catholic sacristies, and miniatures being high on the list) and were blown away by everything we saw. Particularly impressive was a collection of plaster casts of famous monuments and statues. Yes, you heard right. We’re not exactly sure HOW they did it, but back in the 1870’s, the museum started taking plaster casts of famous objects/facades/statues from around the world and bringing it to the Victorianalbert. For example, there is a 2-piece, completely life-sized plaster cast of Trajan’s column in Rome in this museum. AKA THAT’S FRIGGIN HUGE. It’s extremely impressive. And even a full façade of a church in Germany. It’s incredible. I wish I could have taken pictures, but if you even get the chance to go to London you MUST GO and see it for yourself.

We really honestly did get exhausted by the museum, so we got dinner at this really cool Italian restaurant called Villa Rosa (the waiter made fun of my Spanish accent when I was ordering) which had very good food for a good price. Then we went to bed. Great first day back in the city of the Brits.

Episode 23, 6/24/09-6/25/09 – It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday…aka the final Brownie con Sandy.

2009-07-01T18:17:00.002-04:00

Like all good things, Spain had to come to a close. My intention really isn’t to do a whole lot of philosophizing about all the things I learned from the trip. I promised I would detail all of my experiences and present them as written word, so I’ll just do that to close off this journal. Expect maybe a few more posts detailing specific cultural commentary every once in a while, perhaps. Other than that, I am done. A special thanks goes out to the dedicated people who follow this blog and who keep in touch with everything I’m doing during the summer. But one last thought: this certainly has been a trip. I feel like the person I was stepping out into the streets of Sevilla is not the same person boarding the plane back to England. I’ve changed. All of my experiences, both the horrifying and the wonderful, have shaped me. I’ve changed. That’s all I can say. Most of all, I want to give thanks for the beautiful and deep friendships I’ve made on this trip – friendships that I hope will last forever. Anyways, back to the details of how this trip ended and as to my plans from here on out.

Friday was the last day I would spend with my friends before leaving for London the next day. As such, we wanted to make the most of it, so Sarah devised lots of fun activities for us to do to keep us entertained. That Thursday I spent the majority of the day with the tios, Nick and David, wandering around El Centro, I had to say goodbye to my Mecca, FNAC, and buy a Paradise Lost CD. After that, we meandered to the river and walked along Paseo de Cristobal Colon, on one of the hottest and most beautiful days of the year. We went back to Graffiti Bridge (no, not the Prince movie) and sat and looked at the art. Then we walked and absorbed the heat of the sidewalks and the coolness of the shades under the trees near the river, interspersing conversation with periods of quiet glances at the sparkling water. It was just how I wanted to remember my last days in Sevilla, so it was excellent. Thursday night we went to Colloniales, a famous tapas bar. I was in a noxiously bad mood, the cause of which I won’t go into here, so I left early to sleep it off. No reason to ruin my final memories of Sevilla, right?

Friday was the jam-packed finale to the symphony of Sevilla. I woke up early to go shopping with Katie, Sarah, Holli, Frenchie (Benji again), Bobbie, Caitlin, and Tiffany. We got a lot done, and Caitlin and Bobby (literally) took bits of Sevilla with them. I bought some last final gifts: one really metal lookin’ bracelet from a gypsy fo myself, a really cheap yet high quality fan for my mom, and one more shotglass (who for still to be determined). I went back to school to check my email, went to lunch back at “home,” then reunited at Burger King for the final Brownie con Sandy. Brownies con Sandy had become our official mascot of the trip for our group, so we bittersweetly chowed down on these delectable Spanish treats before going back to the states where they don’t have this mystical dessert.

And characteristically for our group, we went to TGI Fridays to celebrate in American style, our last time together being able to drink below 21 lol! The whole group was there (even Stephanie came back in time from Ronda to join us!). I said goodbye to Greg and Nick and David at the time (though I’d see the tios a little bit afterwards, story pending). Afterwards, the majority of us went shopping one last time. I visited JVC, Pull & Bear, then El Corte Ingles with everybody before I had to go back home. It was sad, saying goodbye in Corte Ingles to all of these people who I had come to know so well. I won’t get too sentimental, because hopefully I’ll see them in a month or two, but we all felt here that a good thing was coming to a close. I went back home. Then, because David had been borrowing “Wuthering Heights” and I needed something to read on the plane, I reunited a final time with Nick and David to pick up the book, said goodbye, and then walked back to la casa to pack up. It was especially sad, these final goodbyes. But I know that this is only the beginning of the friendships that I have made here. The best is yet to come.

I won’t bore you with all the details, but I said a strange/awkward goodbye to my señora, glad that our strange relationship was finally over. I went to the airport, got on a plane and ended up in England. As to the future of this blog, I think I’ll continue it in England. Goodbye Spain, and thank you.

FIN.

Episode 22, 6/19/09-6/21/09 – Granada: the End of the Beginning is the End.

2009-07-01T17:54:00.001-04:00

Our last excursion of the summer was sort of like the End of the Beginning is the End (yes, like Smashing Pumpkins). We went to Granada, a small, interesting sort of city that wields massive Moorish influences from way back when it was the last stronghold of Islam and before Ferdinand and Isabella decided that Islam was uncool. In any case, it was a very bittersweet time for everyone in the sense that we were definitely ready to go home, but still wanting some last extra fun time in Spain. We traveled there by bus, yet again, and stayed for two days, which left me feeling like I had adequately explored everything it had to offer.

We stayed at this little hotel that gave me memories of California. There was a little veranda outside of our room, the kind that you could sit all day and watch the world pass by. It’s the kind that I’m sure fascinated writers like Steinbeck. Sadly, I did no serious writing there. I stayed with Nick and David…naturally meaning that our trip was filled with fun oddities like examining the lyrical structures of LFO and their failure at making good raps. I got in the hotel and went swimming in my shorts, neglecting to bring along swimtrunks. It was cold (believe it or not, in the 100+ degree heat), but refreshing.

First stop was the Cathedral at Granada. Not my absolute favorite Cathedral (Toledo is still da bomb), but it was certainly interesting. It’s very white inside and very Baroque. And as people know, Baroque is not my fav. It was visually stunning, but lacked a lot of the cool artistic and funky detailing that the Cathedral at Seville and the mosque at Cordoba have. I won’t really go on because I can’t say much more… Oh wait, I will say that it did at least contain some cool pieces of art that we had been studying, notably a small single-block statue of the Virgin Mary that is cool and extra-virgin and all that.

Next stop: DEAD BODIES MWUAHAHAHAHAH!...No, really. The corpses of the famous and very cool Reyes Catolicos, Ferdinand and Isabella. Oh, and Juana La Loca and Felipe El Hermoso too, if you call within the next five minutes. For only two easy payments of 19.95, we got to see the Capilla Real (Royal Chapel) which contains the sepulchers of these famous Spaniards. It was super well decorated and very cool. We even got to descend into the crypt and see the coffins! Very metal! In other news: ancient Spaniards were short. They made me feel like a giant. I wonder how Nick would have held up in the Middle Ages….

We got some free time after that, so I went shopping with my harem of girls (so to speak). In the kitchy touristy shops we found Arabic teas, teapots, silks, fans, 365 sex positions calendars, and even keychains! The girls loaded up. I bought nothing: as there was no FNAC. Afterwards, I went back to the hotel, chatted with the tios a bit (my roommates, rather) and went up for dinner, which was a nice meal prepared by the hotel.

After dinner, it’s apparently a tradition to climb up to el Mirador de San Nicolas (if I remember right), which is a point overlooking most of Granada. The climb up to said point, however, is arduous. After huffing and puffing and blowing down many houses, we finally reached the top and played Japanese tourist a little and took lots of fun pictures. It was a great view. I’ll attach pictures to illustrate. After that, most people went to a discoteque, but apparently I didn’t get the memo about bringing nice clothes, so I went with Stephanie, Rachel, Frenchie (aka Benjamin, who had followed? us to Granada), and Holli out to a VERY cool Arabian tea parlor for some kick-butt tea! I ordered “Mil y una noches” which is 1001 nights, off of the classic tale concerning Scheherazade. It tasted like 1001 nights indeed. The whole experience was easily one of the most authentic and fascinating experiences I have been to in Spain thus far. It made the trip to Granada more than worth it. That was it for day one, but since little happened on day two, I’ll keep both in the same blog post.

I woke up early and Nick, Dave and I all went to get some breakfast in the hotel. We stocked up on biscuits/muffins for later and joined the group for the Alhambra, which is the big ass fort that the Muslims built to protect Granada from those shenaniganzing Christians. It was pretty interesting and well preserved, relatively. I think I’m biased towards Sevilla’s Real Alcazares in terms of coolness, though. At least the Alhambra had some great views and cool architecture. Again, pictures tell a thousand words in this instance. We left for Sevilla, stopped for lunch at this strip mall. 90% of it, not surprisingly (DAMMIT), was closed on Sunday (thank you Catholicism). We got RIPPED OFF at this damn Italian place, which put me in a severely bad mood. WTF kind of a restaurant makes you pay for pasta sauce as an EXTRA condiment??? Seriously folks, that kind of shit is just whack. After sulking and trying to get some sleep on the way back, we finally got back to Sevilla, where I finished a paper and studied for exams. Like I said before, the End of the Beginning is the End.

Episode 21, 6/16/2009 – The hill of stairs…and other stories.

2009-06-28T17:44:00.000-04:00

The thing about Madrid is: besides art museums and nerdy stuff, there really isn’t that much to do. We found this out on our last day. We woke up and went back to the Prado to see the remaining things we hadn’t seen. Mostly Goya, actually, so reference by blog entry in Episode 20 for all about Goya. Other than that, we were officially done with nerdy things.

We went from there to a gigantic flea market kinda thing that is famous for being the largest flea market in Spain. Quite honestly, it was the largest junk market in Spain. Every stall had the exact same stuff…and it got old. VERY old. We wandered around the gigantic expanse for quite some time. I did find one interesting thing though: a stall selling old vinyl records. I found a few I didn’t have, but cost and transportation issues persuaded me to let it be. David, independently, found a record store that had some pretty cool stuff. After lunch (I ate a loin bocadillo, which was terrific!), we went back to the record store so David could buy a vinyl for his brother, all of the while, we were under the assumption that we had time to get back to the bus station on time.

And here’s where our adventure begins. We left our bags at the hostel, so we had to take the metro back to the hostel to go pick them up before taking the metro to the bus station to catch our 15:00 bus to go back to Sevilla. 13:45…we have plenty of time, right? Suddenly after the hostel, 14:00. Allright, we have an hour. Not bad, right? No one was concerned except for Rachel, perhaps foreseeing that this could be a problem. The metro was moving reallllyyyy slowly that day and we had a long way to go. Suddenly, it was 14:30 and we were less than halfway there. Oh snap. Katie, David and I officially started freaking out. This would be BAD. The tickets, 17 euros apiece, are nonrefundable, plus we had no idea if there were later busses, PLUS to make it worse, we had class in the morning. No WAY we could miss this bus! Time continued to pass, quickly, quickly. It was 14:45 and we were two stops away from station. They were probably already boarding now…We would have to run like hell in order to make it. 1 stop to go…we have 8 minutes to get there… Oh god. We started to get really depressed, knowing that we would inevitably lose the bus and end up shelling out more euros for another ticket. Our stop finally! We have hope! We have four minutes to get there! We grabbed our things, including Rachel’s rollybag and RUSHED. David and I fled like we were being chased, dodging through rude/indifferent Spanish people who could care less if you are in a hurry. I checked my cell phone. 2 minutes! We MIGHT MAKE IT! We turned another corner in the metro, looking for the exit and LO! It’s a GIGANTIC WALL OF STAIRS! Over 4 flights of stairs, maybe over 150-200 feet in the air. There were escalators, but they were too slow. I heard Katie behind me shout “HELL no!”. I didn’t look back. David burst up those stairs with his backpack and I followed, gasping heavily. We got to the station, went out to the platforms and searched frantically for our bus. THERE IT WAS! The bus driver was talking to another person on the side. David checked to make sure it was the bus to Sevilla and then he and I boarded the bus. You’ve got to understand the image here, to fully appreciate this. We had made it from the metro stop to the bus station in under 4 minutes, carrying all our luggage and mounting a gigantic flight of stairs. Here we were, two guys with backpacks, absolutely drenched in sweat, sombering through the aisles, panting like rabid dogs. We got seats together and we laughed, intermixed with relief gasping and panting. We shared a moment of celebration and gasped collectively for air. Katie and Rachel had now boarded and we were set. About a minute later, the bus pulled out of the station at approximately 15:01.

Whew… That was our story. The rest of the bus ride was filled with naps, David and I watching “Airplane!” and me gasping for breath, still. It was an epic ending.

Episode 20, 6/14/09 – The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain…or not.

2009-06-28T17:36:00.002-04:00

We woke up early to start our first uninterrupted day in Madrid. I must explain episode title first and foremost: up to this point in my trip, it hadn’t rained a single day. Not a drop. Later in the episode, this detail will change…to ghastly effects.

Our first objective was a little bit of touristy thisandthat. We went to the centre of Spain, literally. The zero-kilometer marker, the exact center of all of Spain. It was not all that interesting, really. The statue of Carlos III and the famous statue of the Bear eating a strawberry tree were kind of cool, though. Oh well, moving on. A more interesting photo opp was at the Plaza Mayor which is one of the most Baroque of Madrid buildings and also one of the most famous. We took lots of pictures, then went to lunch at this excellent place called Casa Rua, which makes these KILLER fried calamari sandwiches for only 2.25 euros. Ideal for starving/cheap American travelers. It was definitely a food highlight of the trip.

Okay, now that we got all THAT out of the way, time for the REAL meat of the trip: nerd museums! We planned both our Barcelona trip and our Madrid trip VERY well so that pretty much every museum we went into was free, or discounted. El Prado offers 2 free hours on weekends, so we went there twice to take advantage of its epic size.

Our first stop was El Prado, which is Spain’s version of the National Gallery or the Louive. It was (until I went to the Reina Sofia) the most incredible art museum I had ever seen in my life. It houses permanent collection of Spanish art from the Roman period all the way to the 18^th century. Needless to say, it’s the authority on all things nerdy. Pictures weren’t allowed (see a pattern here?) so I’ll describe to you some of my favorites. Taking that Spanish art and architecture class turned out to be the best thing in the world for my personal understanding of art (Spanish and otherwise) AND for my enjoyment of all the things I saw. A major highlight of the museum is its collection of the works of Diego Velazquez, probably the best Spanish painter of all time. His work “Las Meninas” is a staggeringly realistic and enigmatic portrayal of the court life of Felipe IV. We had studied it for quite some time, so it was mind-blowing to see it in person. Another of my favorites, “Los Borrachos (aka El Triunfo de Baccus),” was on display. Essentially, every major Spanish artist of the renaissance to the modern era is there. Also a notable highlight is the Pradi’s extremely impressive Goya collection, the highlight being the uber-famous “Saturn devouring his children,” a work that I’m sure you’ve seen in an art history textbook somewhere. It’s a delicious depiction of the Greek god Chronus devouring one of his sons so he cannot usurp him. It’s great cannibalistic stuff! Plus, it’s the most mysterious and blatantly disturbing of Goya’s “black paintings”. A definite must-see for Madrid. The Prado also is huge, so we spent two hours there and decided to return later for a second attempt.

After the Prado, we went to the OTHER famous museum in Madrid, called the “Reina Sofia”. What the Prado lacks, the Reina Sofia has. Meaning, that as the Prado covers Spain from infancy to Siglo XIX, the Reina Sofia covers the rest of the “Modern Stuff”. I’m not much for the middle ages…this Reina Sofia was especially a nerdfest for me. It’s a bit smaller than the Prado, so we were thankfully able to cover it effectively in one day. As a lot of my close friends know, Surrealism is my marmalade jam, and the Reina Sofia just so happens to have the largest permanent collection of Spanish Surrealism in the world. From the early conceptions of Dada (a few works here and there by Hoch and others) to full-fledged Dali, the museum had it all. And what made it even better was that I had taken that art class and learned better to appreciate some of these works. Highlights for me included viewing rooms with Surrealist films (aka “Un Chie Andalou”), and lots of works by Dali and Miro. The Reina Sofia also houses another powerhouse of Spanish painting: Pablo Picasso, including his piece de résistance: Guernica. Guernica is a terrifying piece depicting the German bombing of the town Guernica. I’m sure you’ve seen it somewhere; it’s too famous for you not to have at least seen a glimpse of it. It is extremely impressive in person. I think I like the Reina Sofia better than El Prado, simply because it contains more pieces from genres I like.

Oh ho, HOWEVER, being that Reina Sofia is the 19^th century till the modern day, it indeed is haunted by the hideous spectre called “Contemporary Art”. The kind of contemporary art that consists of a painter painting a canvas one shade of solid blue…Brilliant! Add a few stripes here and there, a masterpiece. It’s not my marmalade jam, so say the least. The fourth floor of Reina Sofia is dedicated to this…contemporary art…Katie, David and I explored the 4^th floor and just laughed at half of the art there. I mean, seriously though. It doesn’t take much skill to paint a canvas a single color… David and I had some fun with this though. We donned our New Zealand art critic accents and started conversing in mock-seriousness about the thematic depth of all artwork there. It was hilarious. We came upon one such masterpiece, a canvas sloppily colored in blue with some red and black lines. There was another girl there, who was sitting watching us explain all these deep themes that we were finding lol. She actually believed us for a little bit, and then we caught her giggling like a schoolchild when our accents just got a little too silly for her. Haha, it was a fun time.

David and I went to Retiro park for a bit afterwards. It was pretty, but we really didn’t get to see the cool parts of it at all. Mostly because our schedule was so tight. We walked home, past the Arco de Carlos III, another one of Madrid’s famous landmarks, and then went to go buy dinner. Madrid isn’t quite as expensive as Barcelona, but we were getting to the point were we really couldn’t afford going out to dinner and the 10+ euro entrees accompanying. We grabbed some sandwich material, frozen pizza, salads, and of course Fanta and wine to make tinto de verano and we dined in the hostel. I remember that meal being particularly fun, as we touched on topics everywhere from old relationships to favorite vegetables to favorite 90’s TV shows. Fun times.

Here is where the night took a strange turn. Rachel and I wanted to go to a techno discoteca while we were in Madrid, and we selected an 8-story extravaganza called Kapital as our first choice. However, upon learning that the entrance fee was 10 euros, we declined, and spent the next hour and a half searching the internet for cheaper alternatives. We found none. It was disappointing. Meanwhile during Rachel and my search for alternative discotecas, David and Katie were chatting with our hostel roommates who were from northern Spain. They were going out to a small local bar and invited us along. Rachel and I had given up so we agreed.

The bar was bizarre. That’s the best way I can describe it. It seems to me like all Spanish bars either try too hard to be hipster, or are just inferior copies of “The Cave” back home. The bar was guilty of the former. It had cool colored lights and lots of obscure/funky pop culture material, music alternating between The Cure and Juanes, and television sets playing “Evil Dead 2” and hideous 70’s Japanese horror movies. Funky, and everything I should love. But the problem was that it was just too much, adding to the fact that rude Spanish men and about 90% of the bar was smoking in our faces. Plus, the drinks were DAMN expensive. I ended up getting a coke, sitting like a wallflower with Katie and David while Rachel attempted to converse with these bizarre Spaniards. I quizzed Katie about her favorite things, and then when that was over, we got bored and went home. Not our best night. We wanted ice cream, but the damn place was already closed. Oh, you were wondering how the rain came into the story? Well, as we were walking to and from the bar, it was RAINING! Not even hard, just this depressing drizzly rain, just hard enough that you wish you brought an umbrella, but not hard enough to necessitate waiting the storm out. Since we hadn’t seen rain up to this point, it was hilariously ironic. Overall: a mixed day.

Episode 19, 6/13/06 – El Greco was a straight up gangsta.

2009-06-23T10:13:00.003-04:00

Our excursion to Madrid for the 4 day weekend started on the night after Corpus Cristi (that Thursday night). I had scheduled our bus route to Madrid overnight so that way we’d have more time to spend (considering we missed a day due to Corpus). It was a brilliant idea in theory, but not so much in practice. Our group consisted of Katie, Rachel, David and myself. Everyone except Katie attempted to fall asleep and basically failed miserably. Sleeping on a bus in uncomfortable bus seats with no working air conditioning…it just doesn’t happen. We arrived at the Madrid bus station a little groggy, quickly downed our prepacked bocadillos, and then took the metro to our hostel.

Our hostel was nice, but more like a hotel, lacking the intimacy and funkyness that we loved so much when we went to Barcelona. Add to that a general sense of anesthetic unfriendliness…and well, that’s that. We left our bags and went via Metro to Plaza Eliptica to go see Toledo.

Doing Toledo earlier on was a great decision, especially in part because the weather was so excellent. Toledo is kind of like the idyllic image of a shining city on a hill. It’s this gorgeous town (definitely not city) situated on some of the prettiest hills I’ve ever seen in my entire life and covered with quaint little houses. It really hasn’t changed all too much design-wise from when El Greco was painting it in the Middle Ages. Speaking of El Greco, sort of like how our Barcelona trip was a tour of Barcelona through Gaudi, Toledo was a tour of Toledo through El Greco, one of the best painters in the history of Spanish art.

Gotta explain a little about El Greco before I continue. Literal translation of his name is “the Greek.” This is because he was Greek. No, really. How apt. His real name, Doménikos Theotokópoulos, is far too complicated for the history books apparently, so they gave him this catchy nickname that sounds like a delicious Mediterranean entree. El Greco was also the original inventor of West-Side gangsta rap hand gestures. Also a “no, really” moment. El Greco paints in a style unlike any other. His figures are extremely elongated (think “The Scream” esque) and handsomely electric figures. They also have an interesting habit of flashing unnatural hand positions that look exactly like gang signs. My art history professor calls them “gestos no naturales.” I call it straight-up gangsta.

Our first stop on the Greek parade was El Museo de Santa Cruz, which houses a good majority of El Greco’s work, including his famous portraits of the 12 disciples. The museum was free entrance also, which made us poor college students quite happy. Next on the Greek parade was lunch. I had a deliciously cheap bocadillo of loin…loin. I actually just like saying the word loin. And after that, we traversed to the incredible Catedral de Toledo, which goes down as one of the absolute coolest sights in Spain I have seen thus far. The cathedral is hidden a little bit behind equally tall buildings, so it’s a bit hard to see “en entero.” However, the inside of the Cathedral is the proverbial “cream filling.”

No pictures were allowed inside (Katie found this out first hand…NOOOOPIICHAAASSS), so I’ll just have to describe it as best as I can. La Catredral de Toledo is the gothiest of all gothic cathedrals in Spain, and easily the most beautiful. The naves are dark, but illuminated by gorgeous stained glass “rosetones”. The ceiling is robust, still high and beautiful with pointed arches and impressive fan vaulting and an assortment of columns. Near the altar is the spectacular retablo (retable) that is made of solid gold, depicting the lives of Mary and Jesus. Note that all of this is considered the pinnacle of the gothic style, right? Well, the coolest part yet to come is from the Renaissance. Story goes: in the 16^th century, homies decided that the Cathedral was a little too dark (as in, there wasn’t enough lights). So what do they do? They chop off a big part of the cathedral and put in what is called “El Transparante” a GORGEOUS sistene-chapel esque painted hole in the roof to let in more light. I’ve lifted gently (aka STOLEN) a picture from Wikipedia to illustrate this, cause I think it’s impossible to describe it without a picture. It’s quite simply breathtaking.

Oh, and that’s not all, folks. Housed within the Cathedral in its “tersoro” vault are more coveted El Greco pieces, including some of his most famous paintings of the crucified Christ. Highly recommended to anyone traveling in Europe. The Cathedral became easily my favorite cathedral in Spain after our tour.

After the magnificent Cathedral, we went to the last El Greco stop: Santo Tome, which in itself is a puny little church that is dwarfed by the magnificence of the Cathedral. So what makes it special? Ay, there’s the rub. One of El Greco’s most famous paintings (in my opinion, his magnum opus) hangs there. It is called “El entierro del conde de Orgaz,” after the count of Orgaz who is 6 feet under in a grave inside the church. Legend has it (or Catholic mythology, you choose) that the count was visited by a heavenly host at the time of his death who took his soul into heaven and buried the body in the church. El Greco magnificently painted the scene and it hangs above the tomb to this day. I decided two things. A) It’s pretty much the best painting ever, possibly better than his inimitable “Caballero con la mano en el pecho”. B) I want to draw myself as a stick figure into the painting and then have my body buried in the crypt along with the count. Yep. It is THAT cool. Again, no pictures, sadly, so you’ll have to get on Wikipedia. Also in the church was the most bizarre portrait of the Virgin Mary I have ever seen (her nose is about the size of her forehead). And of course, a lifesized sculpture of Jesus carrying the cross…but with the statute dressed up in real clothes and real hair…Hmmm…

After our tour Santo Tome, we went out for helado (stracciatela for me. Delicious!), then back to the bus, nap on the bus, back to Madrid, dinner at this overrated vegetarian all-you-can-eat place which had snobby waitresses, and then finally, BED. Overall, we felt like we had adequate time to see Toledo and El Greco proved to be a great tour guide.

Episode 18, 6/07/09 – More Gaudi, Leezards, and the beach

2009-06-22T04:44:00.001-04:00

For our last day in Barcelona, we decided to finish our unintentional tour of Gaudi (following el plan that Rachel prepared for us) and see the last few remaining sights. A long metro ride later, and we were at Park Guell, one of the biggest tourist attractions in Spain. Park Guell, similarly to Casa Mila, was a park that Gaudi redesigned in all modernist flair, creating depth-perception-defying illusions and some very famous sculptures.

First, the hike from the metro to the Park was epic. Guell is located over, by my estimate, 300 feet above the rest of the city. In 105 degree heat, we trekked up stairs and a series of steep escalators to climb the mount. With luggage, mind you, as we had checked out of the hostel by this point. Once getting there, one is immediately greeted with impressive vistas of the city and the ability to see all the major landmarks (especially Sagrada familia).

The park itself is a ways back down the hill, split off to the side. What makes it interesting is the modernist design. Gaudi constructed platforms, alcove seating, and fountains that look like a surrealist interpretation of melting ice cream and neoclassical forums. It’s fantastic. The highlight of the entire park is the famous fountain, exhibiting the unofficial mascot of Barcelona, the dragon. But this thing doesn’t look like a dragon at all, so I have dubbed it “the leezard”. The leezard is a very colorful creature, with water pouring out of its mouth instead of fire. It’s quite impressive and attracts lots of Japanese tourists with cameras…and then it eats them. Not really. One can see the leezard on a number of other Barcelona paraphernalia including t-shirts, stamps, and keychains. Very famous, very cool. The rest of the park is just as impressive as said leezard, and after saying goodbye to said leezard, we left said park.

We had another super long hike to a metro station to get to the beach, but along the way I was struck by what appeared to be “real” Barcelona. Being a city, it’s often easy to get caught up in the touristy/commercial aspect of it. Park Guell is quite a bit removed from the center of the city, and is next to really cool/seemingly affordable neighborhoods that gleamed in the sunlight. I took some photographs and promised that I’d buy one of those apartments when I get rich and famous.

Next stop on the fun bus was the Picasso museum of Barcelona. Though not containing some of his best known works (eg. almost nothing of cubism), it wielded an impressive number of his early works, namely some of my favorites from the Blue Period. It was cool to see in person, certainly, but nothing earth-shattering. I am sad, though, that I can’t show you any photographs of these places. Oh well, if I had tried to take a picture, I’m sure one of those burly bad-attitude wielding Spanish security guards wouldn’t have appreciated it too much.

That was the last of our nerdy museum expeditions and we all could sense that we were getting a little tired. Thankfully, we’d scheduled the rest of the day for the beach. After a long walk there, we were assaulted by the Barcelona beach experience.

And yes, I do mean assaulted. Let me explain. Remember that cool/sparely populated beach we went to previously called Matalascanas? Well, this isn’t it folks. Barcelona beach is SO CROWDED! Think of an L.A. beach, but add twice as many people. We thankfully found an open spot (stalking some people who were leaving) and set up shop. Unfortunately, there were these ANNOYING merchant vendors who were trying to shop on us a little by offering a variety of novelty trash while screaming at the top of their lungs. “Aguacervezabeer! Aguacervezabeer!” the damn cry is like death-knoll! And then the Asians with attitudes asking us if we wanted a massage! We first politely thanked them…but then they returned…the same ones! I’ve dramatized the resulting effects for your pleasure.

Vendor: Quieres masaje? Doyouwanna massaasagggee?

Justin: Go away…

Vendor: Very nice, yes?

Colin: No. It’s not.

Vendor (grabbing Nick’s arm): Massage?

Nick: NO! Please no.

*wait for three minutes*

Vendor: Doyouwanna masssaaaggeee?

As you can imagine, it made the experience a little frustrating. As always, the experience was assuaged greatly by the presence of friends and companionship. I’ve been so glad to be able to get closer to some of these amazing people. These truly must be the friendships that I will never lose.

Back to the blog: We left the beach feeling rested and prepared for the trip home. Little did we know of the adventures that still awaited us. Coming “home” to Sevilla was a little bit like the last 1/3 of the movie Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Everything that could POSSIBLY prevent Frodo from throwing that damn ring in prevents him from throwing that damn ring in. We went to the train station to catch a train that would lead us straight to the airport (and we could use our metro passes). As we looked for the train to take us there, we couldn’t find it on the map. We individually asked some attendants who had never heard of this line before. Uh-oh. Challenge: you have 30 minutes to find an alternate route to the airport since the train line you were going to take doesn’t exist at all. Through some studying of maps and asking more attendants, we managed to find a route, though it put everyone on thin ice in terms of sanity. Thankfully though, we DID find a route that would take us to the airport and we managed to make it there with a little time to spare. We were absolutely exhausted and one long plane ride later, we finished up our epic weekend in Barcelona.

Episode 17, 6/6/08 – Barcelona is expensive/expansive/Gothic!!

2009-06-16T11:31:00.001-04:00

This is a continuation from the last blog post on the same day because the day was so long and epic, that I couldn’t possibly put it in only one post. Continued from our chocolate deliciousness, I will resume my tale of travel.

After the chocolate museum and our foray into Modernism, we made a trip back in time and into the heart of the city, the aptly-named Gothic quarter. You must imagine my excitement going into a place called the “Gothic quarter”. How metal, right? Indeed it was. 50% or more of the buildings have some remnants from the 12^th century, the highlight of which is of course la Catedral de Barcelona. In every city I’ve ever been to in Spain, if it has a cathedral, it’s almost criminal NOT to visit it. Unfortunately in this case, I wish I would have skipped it.

Thankfully la Catedral de Barcelona is free entrance. And I suppose that should say something about the quality of the preservation of the cathedral. Whereas the Catedral de Sevilla and the Catedral de Toledo (forthcoming episode) are preserved excellently and take into consideration the lighting and display of “tersoros” (treasure/artifacts) of the church, Barcelona is clearly in ruin. They’ve actually tried to initiate a “save the cathedral” kind of program by encouraging visitors to donate and “sponsor a stone”. Clearly, this hasn’t been working well for them. Another example of a flawed Spanish business model.

The outside looks nice enough. The facades are quite gothic, lots of pointed arches, all that lovely stuff. It’s a really well-built cathedral, but the problem is that no one is keeping it up… We went inside, but were sorely disappointed to realize that we could only enter about1/4 of the entire cathedral. The stones are dirty, the floors are “original” in the worst sense”, and the lighting doesn’t showcase much of anything besides dirt. We got to listen in a little on a mass that was going on (part of the reason why we couldn’t see very much of the cathedral).

Something else I must mention because I feel like it epitomizes the …how should I say…difficulties that the Catholic Church has been having in adjusting to the modern age. Take a look at the following photo. It’s an offertory with prayer candles. Electric prayer candles. You put in a euro and a small “Lite-Brite”-esque light pops up. I’m not going to parse words; I was quite offended at the sight. Without going into too much detail, there’s something inherently comforting and spiritual at the glimpse of a burning candle and the idea that your prayer will be heard, represented by this flickering tenuous mass in front of you. Don’t tell me that the Barcelona parish, albeit poor, couldn’t afford some daggum votives! This is one instance in which adapting to “modern” ways just isn’t a good idea, guys. It’s not quite the biggest issue that the Catholic church is facing right now, but I just can’t let this go unpunished and uncommented.

The rest of the Cathedral was unimpressive, so we went outside in under 15 minutes to the rest of the Gothic quarter. Uncharacteristically gothic (perhaps), there was a market, called the “Mercat Gotico” that sold a variety of medieval styled antiques (some of them genuine, some of them cleverly disguised neogothic imitations). In any case, the display of goods was impressive, and I couldn’t go without splurging just a teensey bit.

But wait, our day isn’t even finished! One last stop before dinner at the famous Arc de Triunfo de Barcelona which was made in 1888 for the Exposicion Barcelona. It was super-big, super-red, and very photogenic. It’s also located in a particularly cool part of town, so we sat down and chilled for a while before returning to the hostel and dinner.

I should now divulge some insider info that one wouldn’t know unless one has been to Barcelona. It is damn expensive. I’ll turn back the hands of time (like R. Kelly) for a second to Friday night (one day before this blog post). It was that night that we realized that Barcelona is expensive. VERY expensive. Everything costs about double what it would in Sevilla. So when we tried to have “a nice sit-down dinner” that night, we were quite surprised at the menu’s list of prices. Specifically, there are so things that are different in Barcelona besides just meals. The metro is the quickest and easiest way of getting around (avoiding the heat, especially), but at the same time, constant ticket purchases WILL stack up. For our Saturday night dinner, we decided to do things a little differently and cook dinner at the hostel. Stephanie and I prepared Tinto de Verano concoctions in addition to pasta with red sauce while Nick helped and provided excellent cooking music from his laptop. I never thought that Ruff Ryder’s anthem could be considered cooking music. Overall, it was a cheaper endeavor than the Friday night dinner and provided for a lot of fun laughs and memories.

NO, that’s not all, folks. To top off our couldn’t-get-any-better day, we took the metro to Las Fuentes Magicas, again, aptly named, the magical fountains. Magical they were indeed. Las Fuentes Magicas is a light/water show that is put on in a big plaza near the government offices in Barcelona. It’s awesome in the truest sense of the world. Our merry troup merrily alighted on a wall (yes, on top of a wall) and had a terrific view of the spectacle. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves, hopefully. Add to that good conversation and a soft fountain spray and it’s a day I’ll never forget.

Episode 16, 06/06/09 – An unintentional tour of Gaudi

2009-06-15T12:30:00.003-04:00

Saturday por la manana, we embarked on our excellent tour of Barcelona by first getting breakfast at the local supermarket. Haha, that’s a very necessary thing, you see. I quickly devoured my “donuts” (pronounced “doh-noots”). I should also mention something cool. Hostels are a cool place to make new friends. We met this kid named Nick (not to be confused with our very own golly Caucasian giant, Nick), who had been living in Barcelona for the past 6 weeks. He accompanied our merry troupe and gave directions and suggestions of where to go. First stop, the hospital. (The Hospital? What is it? It’s a big building with patients in it, but that’s not important right now).

We packed up and went to the Hospital de Santa Creu. The hospital was built in the early to mid 1800’s (if my memory serves me) for a purpose that is now defunct. It is now the most pimpingly-awesome real-life working hospital of all time. I’ve enclosed pictures to demonstrate its awesomeness. We saw a few older patients being wheeled around and lots of excellent architecture. Haha, my friends played a cruel/funny trip on me by leading me into the psyche ward and trying to leave me there. Lol. “This is an intervention!” Like that intervention that Michael tried to pull on Meredith in The Office.

After we regained our sanity, we went to the most insanely twisted architecture that exists in Spain. The famous La Sagrada Familia de Barcelona, created by Anton Gaudi. Anton Gaudi was a modernist dude with a imagination like a dark labyrinth. However, his death and lack of funding have halted construction to this day and you can donate funds to keep construction going (estimated completion now is at 2048). I can hardly describe it without getting into complex poetical discoursing. I guess you’ll just have to sit through it for a while.

Sagrada familia is like stepping into a vivid nightmare, combining the sheer awe of the New Testament with things that you don’t like remembering from deep in your subconscious. The inside has elements of neogothic, famous “Gaui arches”, and columns. It’s twisted, warped vision of perspective almost gives it the sense that it defies physics. It’s indescribably fantastic in person and was easily one of my favorite sights of Spain so far. I’ll give just a brief description of my favorite part: the façade of the crucifixion of Christ. Whereas many other facades will contain the standard ole’ Christ crucified with Jesus in somber, almost painless resignation and Mary + others looking on stoically, Gaudi’s designs for the façade show horror in Jesus’ defeated posture and pain that beset Mary and the disciples. The thing I love about the architecture and the sculpture of Sagrada familia is that it depicts emotion without being excessively gaudy. Instead of gaudy, it’s more Gaudi…ha…ha…ha…ha. For example, look at the sculpture of Jesus being betrayed with a kiss by Judas. Note the expressionless look in Judas’ eyes and the silent horror in Jesus’ lips as he knows it will lead to his death. It’s powerful. Never before have I been so emotionally involved with Christ Jesus’ suffering as I have when looking at these magnificent sculptures. I’ve attached pictures so that you can get a better idea of the magnitude of this place.

I could go on for hours about this place, but I think it’s best to move on. We sort of unintentionally did a tour of the greatest hits of Gaudi. He was especially prevalent in Barcelona, so we got to see firsthand his genius while traversing the city. Ironically enough, all of the Gaudi works that we saw in Barcelona we later discussed in detail in our Spanish art class as the paradigm of classic modernism. Cool stuff.

Next was Casa Mila. Another Gaudi classic. It was an apartment building that Gaudi re-designed with his bizarre modernist style and turned it into one of the top attractions in Spain. Now, people don’t live there and it has been converted into a Gaudi museum of sorts. The main attraction of the place is the architecture, obviously, and the incredible terrace. We teleported up to the terrace (no, really) and got to see some of the most excellent views of Barcelona that you can get from the interior city. I’ve again, attached some pictures for reference’s sake.

Next stop, chocolate! The chocolate museum of Barcelona. This tasty museum covered the history of chocolate in Spain, starting from colonization to today. Not only was the museum fun and informative, but also our entrance ticket was made out of chocolate. Needless to say, it didn’t last the entire visit. There was also a lip-smacking amount of chocolate reproductions of famous artwork, the highlight being La Pieta. The only downside to viewing this art was that there were these two annoying kids chasing themselves silly around the museum and screaming. When one of them smacked into a pole, I giggled a little bit and enjoyed the silence. We’re gonna take a bit of a break from blogging at this point because believe it or not, the day is only halfway done. More to come, my chocolaty friends!

Episode 15, 06/05/2009 – BARCELONA BABY!

2009-06-11T12:01:00.001-04:00

We got a 3 day weekend from school. And what does one do with a 3 day weekend in Spain but go traveling! The intended destination was Barcelona and we got a group together consisting of Rachael (our tour guide and den mother extraordinaire), Stephanie, Justin, Bobby, and myself. We booked plane tickets and a hostel a couple of weeks before and woke up at 4:00am for our epic journey into Cataluña. I should explain. They don’t speak Castilian Spanish in Barcelona. They speak this bizarre Spanish/French/other hybrid called Catalan. Being in the province of Cataluña, all of the street signs are primarily in Catalan and secondarily in Castilian (aka “normal” Spanish). It makes navigating the streets just THATTT much more confusing…

We got in around 9ish and wandered around to the hostel after taking a bus. The first day consisted primarily of dropping our stuff off at the hostel, checking facebook and etc. and then going to the heart of Barcelona: la plaza de Cataluña and a big long gigantic street called La Rambla (the area called “Las Ramblas”). Oh, first, I should mention we passed the famous “Monumento de Cristobal Colon”, which is one of about a million statues of Christopher Columbus in Spain. They certainly do love Columbus. Anyways, afterwards, we went forthwith to Las Ramblas. Las Ramblas sells anything that a tourist to Barcelona could possibly want to buy. Helado, Gelato, knockoff purses, Barcelona Futbol Jerseys, and prairie dogs…Yes, prairie dogs… It’s a very cool street. Even cooler, we went in to a very famous open-air food market called “La Boqueria” which has a delectable assortment of everything from fresh squeezed juices, fish with the heads still on, still-living snails, fresh bread, marzipan, sweets, and even vegetables! We took some pictures and resolved to come back with more time.

I should mention quickly about how one gets around in Barcelona. The metro is the quickest and easiest way to travel practically anywhere in the city. We bought what is called a “T-10” pass, which is a “cheap” (note the quotation marks) 10-time use card that all 5 of us shared well. It worked great. I can describe the Metro of Barcelona as a hybrid between the New York Metro in terms of busyness and amount of people (minus the cray-crays, thank God), but more structured like the London Underground. Thankfully, it DID have the punctuality and generally user-friendly feel of the London Underground, so I was pretty happy with our (and when I say, “our” lol I mean Rachel’s) ability to find where we were going. Speaking of Rachel, she was terrific! I gotta give a major shout-out to her supreme organizational/directional skills, especially in wake of certain difficult circumstances (stay tuned for THAT episode folks, lol).

In any case, back to Las Ramblas. Being tourists, we were obligated to do all the touristy things and take prodigious amounts of pictures while doing so. For example, we went to a café which served the excellent Spanish dish of Churros con Chocolate. Truly an authentic and delicious experience. We also sampled Gelato and Horbacha (as Rachel describes it, Soy Egg Nogg). We went into some tourist shops, we came, we saw, we conquered.

We followed the Las Ramblas rambling until we came to the centre of Barcelona, called La Plaza de Cataluña. The plaza itself is very big and very impressive, exhibiting of course the 1 block long Corte Ingles amoung other things. Oh, and among other things, remember way back in Episode 10 when I mentioned a little store called FNAC? Well, FNAC is essentially the Spanish version of Borders, but WAAAAYYY bigger and way better. I’ve managed to visit the one in Sevilla twice now, and what should my little eyes spot next to the block-long Corte Ingles but the gigantic FNAC Barcelona. Going in was an absolute must. I didn’t buy anything but it was still an excellent experience. We wrapped up our commercial/materialistic aspect of our Barcelona visit and returned to the hostel.

The hostel itself was excellent. For those of us who haven’t stayed in a hostel before, I’ll give a brief description. It is structured very similarly to a college dorm with the exception that there are 8ish beds to a room rather than 2. Our hostel was VERY nice. Nice beds, A/C, really cool common room (with comfy couches to boot), FAST RELIABLE INTERNET (thank GOD!), and cool people (more on that later). From what my memory allows, I remember that we rested a little bit, went out to dinner (I sadly can’t remember where…) and went to bed. This day was just the appetizer. Tomorrow would be the main course.

Episode 14, 5/30/2009 – La Isla Magica and one big holy dead guy.

2009-06-07T03:25:00.001-04:00

Another one of those epic days. To start out with, we heard a couple weeks before about San Fernando (the patron saint of Sevilla) who was going on traveling display and stopping at the Catedral de Sevilla. What makes him important? He was crucial in taking back Spain from the Muslims and for being a perfectly preserved “immaculate” corpse for 800 years without embalming.

Naturally, us history/religion nerds HAD to see this one. We woke up really early and got to the Cathedral to see him. There was a short 30 minute mass that we sat in on that detailed the life and sanctity of San Fernando. It was quite cool because I believe it was given by the Cardinal, who, in his homily, compared San Fernando as a model to all Christians. The Catholic mass was also quite interesting, as it’s the exact same structure as English masses, only of course, the responses are in Spanish.

After the mass, we got a chance to see Fernando in his coffin up close. Indeed, he IS well-preserved. Not perfectly preserved, but definitely well-preserved for never having been embalmed. I can compare him to a really well-preserved Egyptian mummy. Leathery skin, plastered hair, sunken teeth, but with very intact body and facial features. It was creepy and really cool. Just being in the presence of a corpse that was 800 years old was mind blowing enough. But add that to the fact that he is one of the most revered saints of all time and it turned into a memory I will never forget. To top that off, next on our list for the day was a trip to La Isla Magica.

La Isla Magica is a Spanish theme park, and is also the best time of your life. I’m thoroughly convinced. Sarah G. came up with the excellent idea of going there on Saturday and I can say it didn’t disappoint. What makes Isla Magica interesting from a study abroad perspective is that it is about as Spanish as you can get. No, really. It was incredibly interesting. The “gimmick” of the theme park is that it’s all themed around Spanish history and culture. You had different “worlds” like Fuedal Spain, “American conquest” Spain, Pirate Spain, “Future” Spain (ala Epcott in Disneyworld), etc. the park itself is not very big and doesn’t have a very good selection of rides (probably only 3 actual rollercoasters), but it was quite fun, especially the water park aspect of it.

We got there and paid a reasonable 25 euros for an all day pass. We had our senoras pack us some “los sandwitches” so we wouldn’t get hungry and have to shell out lots of euros for food. Although, ironically, halfway through we all got thirsty and got granizadas (lemonade icee things).

There were some pretty cool/funny rides that I should share with you. I’m not too much for big/scary rides, but the first one I went on certainly fit the bill. It was shaped like a long curved plank and we rode on a platform which spun along the curved plank. It was truly terrifying lol and I regretted going on it during the initial ascent. Overall, it relieved me of my rollercoaster fears and allowed me to participate in all the other ones quite well.

Easily the most “Spanish” of all the rides was a humorous little attraction called “La Furia de los Dioses” (aka the Fury of the Gods). It was like a haunted house ride, only the monsters were all angry/disenfranchised Mayan gods. The ride was very jerky and did have some legitimate frights, and I was genuinely surprised by its awesomeness. Other than that, the majority of the park consisted of water rides, which was great by me. No gigantic wave pools or slides ala Carowinds, but it certainly had its share of log rides and whitewater rafting type rides. Going with friends was the best part. Everybody likes to get we together. The only disappointing thing was that we waited 30 minutes in line for this 3d movie that we THOUGHT was going to be about aliens on Mars. Nope. Turns out it was a haunted house ride from the vantage point of a cat. It was AWFUL, especially for people (like myself) who don’t like snakes, spiders, and possessed toys too much. And the ending (okay, I’ll spoil it), the cat was a ghost all along. It was incredibly bizarre and left us all wondering why we wasted our time.

Isla Magica is one of those places that is automatically better with friends, and thankfully we had plenty of that. It was terrific, because during the long waiting lines we amused ourselves by looking at goofy t-shirts and reminiscing/planning about our times in Spain. Isla Magica was totally worth it, and despite the blazing heat, we managed to stay cool and have a great time.

Episode 13, 5/28/2009 – Becquer is my homedog/Brownie con Sandy kind of day.

2009-06-05T14:09:00.002-04:00

Today was a fun day. Being a major nerd, one of my favorite things to do when visiting a foreign country is hit up the museums of fine art. Sevilla has a very cool Museo de Bellas Artes which I was dying to get the chance to see. Though I have basically no outside education on Spanish art until the 19th century, the art class that I’ve been taking in school has given me a greater appreciation of Renaissance and pre-Renaissance art.

Our group walked to the museum and entered for the ridiculously low price of only 2 payments of $19.95….Or 1.50 euros. The place itself was smaller than I had expected, but in about an hour and a half, we felt like we did the whole museum justice. It had mostly Rennaissance art, which isn’t my #1 bag, but it sure had some great pieces. Mostly cathedral paintings that were brought to the museum, beautifully preserved. Lots of Virgin Mary’s and Catholic paraphernalia. Highlights for me was a famous St. Sebastian portrait, a sculpture of the severed head of John the Baptist, and a cool scene depicting the Last Judgment (can’t remember the artist).

Moving upstairs, we got into some of the more modern stuff, including lots of landscape portraits of Sevilla. It’s amazing how little the city has changed, really. In the 19th century, there was still the Torre de Oro, the Cathedral, the Plaza de Torros…Even the surrounding buildings don’t change very much. A highlight of the museum trip was easily the famous portrait of Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer, my new favorite Spanish poet of all time.

Our literature class, for being as boring and unproductive as it is, has introduced us to some great literature. I identify strongly with Bécquer’s metric techniques and a lot of his thematic matter, besides the fact that he can rhyme well without seeming corny. He’s like the Spanish version of Byron, kinda. In any case, we got to see THE portrait of him. You know, as in the one that’s featured in all of the history books and literature anthologies? It’s mind-blowing to be so close to something that important and historic. Without breathing, I leaned in to see Bécquer a little closer. You can see the brush strokes that were used to give him his mustache. You can see the flush of his thin cheeks and the swirls that were used to darken his temples. And the fact that it has been preserved so carefully since the 19th century is simply astounding. I silently took a photo, the only thing I could do to possibly capture the feeling.

A faction of our group got separated from us during the walk to the museum, so we got in touch with them again and sought out a bar to watch the Champions League football game between Manchester United and Barcelona. We found this hole-in-the-wall bar next to the museum, which turned out to be one of the more authentic Sevillana experiences I’ve had so far. We ordered a light dinner. I mixed up my order with Stephanie’s and ended up having friend tuna slices, which were thankfully delicious. I ordered a rum n’ coke (which was more rum than coke lol) and we sat back and watched the game. It was cool because we were in a SPANISH bar with real Spanish men and women who were fans and who shouted and screamed and cheered like we do during our basketball games. It was exciting, and the game was a blast, especially with good friends to watch it with.

Afterwards, we went to Burger King (yes, Burger Kings exist in Spain) and tried a dessert that Katie and Sarah had been hyping up to us for the past week or so: un “brownie con sandy”. Yep….It’s supposed to be like a Pecan Sandy, but with a brownie instead…and the fact that it’s pronounced like “browneee con sahnndeee”. It’s quite funny. It didn’t disappoint either. It was quite good. The mix of hot hot brownie and cool cool ice cream. Something delicious that seems American, but still is authentic Spanish.

Episode 12: Attack of the Killer T-Shirts That Make No Sense!

2009-05-31T15:15:00.011-04:00

Here it is, folks! My magnum opus of all video blogs. Enjoy!

Episode 11, 4/23/2009 – Cordoba, Muslims, Jews, and discotecas.

2009-05-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

Our excursion on Saturday took us to Cordoba, an old Roman-turned-Visigoth-turned-Christian-turned-Muslim-turned-Christian city. It has a lot of history and one magnificent cathedral, which previously was a mosque under 3+ centuries of Islamic rule. Characteristic of the Catholics, when they take something over, they make it seem like it was always theirs to begin with. Minarets become towers with crosses on them and the mosque or mesquita becomes a very eclectic cathedral. The Islamic influences are evident (I mean, there’s Arabic designs on the walls), but the odd and kind of cool part is that smack dab in the middle of all of the Arabic stuff, there’s a Gothic-style cathedral with an alter and an organ and a chorus. It’s beautiful, but extremely strange.

After the excursion to the cathedralmosquething, we went into the old Jewish quarter to see a statue of some Jew…who was important as a doctor but whose name completely escapes me. Then we went into a synagogue which was more old than historic, if you know what I mean. It was about the size of a bedroom, but DID survive since the early 10th century. So it was impressive, but not beautiful by any means.

After that, we had an hour or two to explore the town of Cordoba, which was fun. I bought some gifts from the kitchy touristy stores. I also “seriously” considered buying a sword…until I realized that bringing it back to the states would be slightly tough. Oh well.

The night was a mixed bag. The bus ride back, I was able to sleep, but the rest of our group didn’t and consequently did really feel like going out. We went out anyway with the gran proposito of doing what is called in Spain a “botellón”, which is essentially a BYOB (no, not the System of a Down song) in the streets. It would have been fun, except for me and Stephanie were the only ones who bought anything …Haha, oh well. We planned to finally go to Buddha, the club extraordinaire that I’ve been telling you so much about. The best laid plans go astray. Our tired group fragmented and we ended up not being able to find Buddha. You may think that’s impossible, but I assure you, Sevilla is the most confusing city of all time. Getting turned around is a common occurrence, so we chocked this one up to fate. It wasn’t all bad, though. We drowned our sorrows in churros and chocolate and suddenly became much happier. Next time, though, will be the charm.

Episode 10, 5/22/2009 – Retail Therapy…It’s a good thing.

2009-05-29T05:55:00.002-04:00

You may notice I’m skipping over the intense Seville Cathedral trip on 5/21/2009, simply because I realized that without pictures to guide me, my description would be meaningless, and also that I could go on for ten or more pages just describing what I have seen. In that case, I’d much rather explain the Cathedral on a person-to-person basis instead of writing about it. Know that is was the single greatest thing I’ve seen in Sevilla and it was absolutely speech-stealing in its power to marvel. Thus, I’m going to have to keep you in suspense, again. Mwhahaha!

I’ll skip to the next day, which was Operation: Find Gifts for Family and Friends. Being me, I made a list of all the people I wanted to buy gifts for (10+ people…that’s a lot). I went on my own to some larger department stores like El Corte Ingles and Media Markt (funny story: I have yet to see a consistent pronunciation of this). El Corte Ingles is hailed as being the Harrods of Spain, but I found it more like the Macy’s of Spain with a grocery store attached. The prices had Harrod’s ridiculousness but not the selection or the quality. It was mostly whack, so I was a little disappointed. Media Markt was Best Buy, but ironically, with cheaper goods than even in America. I bought a couple of things and then met with the group to go shopping in central city.

We went to Avenida de la Constitucion (as you’ll remember from my last blog post). Shops are pretty kitchy and touristy and some of us were too tired to continue on to the more elite shops further on. I found one or two simple things and we kept walking. Being that it IS Spain and something strange is always going down, we saw some cool and funny things. Religious processions are quite common, and we saw two passing through the center. These processions are easily recognized by their floats of the Virgin Mary, REALLY LOUD and obnoxious tinny brass trumpets, and people dressed up like KKK members….No, really. I’ll show you a picture. This particular procession (again, to the Virgin Mary) held up traffic for 10 or so minutes, but at least we got some good pictures.

The other interesting thing that we found was a wedding at the Cathedral. What a place to get married in! It was so nice and the atmosphere was so happy, I had to get pictures of the bride and groom. With my telescoping lens, I got some shots so good, I should have gone up to the couple and charged for prints. I’ll share some with you.

Shopping-wise I did find the absolute COOLEST shop called FNAC. It was like a Borders meets a Harrods meets a Hot Topic meets a Spenser’s Gifts, but much more expensive and high brow. It had an EXCELLENT selection of music, movies, videogames, books, pop-culture merchandise, and all very nice and clean and well-decorated. Everyone else was moving at a slightly different pace than my desire to spend 4 hours there, haha, so I resolved to come back another day.

After my group pooped out, I annexed to another group going out for paella for dinner. Paella, for all you Spanish n00bs, is a traditional dish of rice and meat (usually seafood), served in a steaming hot platter with spices. We went to this really bizarre restaurant called “Boston Burger” which had nothing to do with Boston or Burgers. In fact, when Christine tried to order a burger, they replied, “we don’t have them”. Very odd. The paella was only okay too…It was kind of a hack restaurant, really. But as they say, you live and you learn. Next time will be better. After putting the paella behind us, the group went out for desert and I went home.

Episode 9, 5/20/2009 – Just a walk in the park.

2009-05-26T12:58:00.002-04:00

I’m a little behind on my blogging, and as expected, some things are beginning to run together in my head. Forgive me if some of this is not exactly chronological, but I promise I’ll be more up to date with it soon.

The day was pretty uneventful, but the night was interesting. Nick, David, Sarah, Rachael, Holli and I decided to go out and take a walk to central city, and we saw some cool things along the way that I thought I should share with you guys. First, the central city is like a gigantic spiderweb. If you look at it on a map, there is no set infrastructure plan. The streets are no wider than a mini-cooper and the tall building obscure one’s ability to find one’s way be sight alone. They all diverge in complex, sharp turns here and there with at least 3 changes to the street name in 100 feet or so. The best method of finding one’s way is just knowing in what direction the destination lies, and then meander towards it as best as possible. Needless to say, in this labyrinth of streets, there are all sorts of bizarre and interesting shops just waiting for study-abroad students to explore.

That wasn’t our goal for the night, however. We ended up wandering around, as we always do, and conversing. Nick, Rachael and myself were walking on a particularly weird and confusing street when a Spanish woman on roller blades made eye contact with us and started screaming and gesturing “Cuidado! Cuidado!” and gesturing us to the other side of the street. Quite confused, we hurried out of the way. A half-second later a train of roller-bladers come streaming down the street, all linking by hands-on-shoulders and shouting something that sounded like “ole!” It was quite funny, looking back. And that, is Spain in a nutshell.

As I recall in my mind, we ended up walking to el centro and getting ice cream and walking back. Again, the details are a little fuzzy, but that’ll be fixed once I get more regular with the blog posting.

Episode 8, 5/19/09 – Routines are both a blessing and a curse.

2009-05-26T12:51:00.001-04:00

Hola chicos! It’s been a while since I’ve been writing this, but I suppose that’s because I have a life now. “But DJ Dustbunny, you’ve never had a life before!” Well, you’re right kiddies. Unfortunately this life is called “homewurk” and it is comprised of the delicate balance of doing homework during the day and having fun at night. It’s sort of like being a superhero....or a prostitute.

In terms of my classes, they are going well. First I have El Arte Español con Fernando, who is a great professor and I think I’m going to learn a lot during the class. I’ve also got a lot of friends in the class, so that makes everything a whole lot easier and a whole lot more fun.

The second class is the harder one: Spanish literature from 1700 to present. The professor takes the class very seriously and there’s quite a bit of homework. I’m not too stressed, since the class IS pass/fail, but it’s still something I must keep up with and distracts me from doing cool things in Sevilla.

After our first “conferencia” about the fiestas of Spain (ironically enough, stuff I already learned in Spanish IV H. in high school), we decided to go out. This time to an Irish pub in Sevilla called “O’Neil’s”, and as an advertisement for it declared, “the most popular bar in Spain”.

Well, I’m not sure about that. But we did have a lot of fun. We got the regular group together and walked there (not too far from where I’m living). The place was remarkably American. And indeed the waiter insisted (in his rapid Andalucian Spanish) that he loved America and was in fact visiting next week. Muy interesante. It was a cute, quaint kind of joint. I had my first experience with “tinto de verano”, translated directly (“summer wine”). What it is is Fanta mixed with wine. Fanta? Y’know, “wanna Fanta, don’tchawanna wanna Fanta…” That kind of Fanta. It’s VERY good. I particularly loved the bar for its hilariously eclectic music, mixing classic techno (popular in Spain) with ye olde classic rock songs from the 70’s. I heard LMC vs. U2’s “Take Me To The Clouds Above”, Mylo’s “Dr. Pressure”, and a few other random ditties, put next to U2 (the rock band lol) and Queen. Speaking of Queen, the highlight of the night was Nick and Holli’s dramatic rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” which consisted of 7+ American students yelling the lyrics at full volume in an Irish bar in Seville. Haha, and the Spanish couple who was sitting next to us left soon afterwards.

Episode 7, 5/17/09 – La Festival Medieval, Religión y Sangría para todos!

2009-05-24T12:57:00.004-04:00

I woke up very….VERY late. As in around 15:30. I had promised to meet Zhenya and help her with the 18^th century. Zhenya was time-traveling that day to the 18^th century and wanted my advice on whether petticoats or frocks were “in” during that time……..No, not really. Rather, I helped her study for a test about colonial relations between Spain and Latin America in the 18^th century, a subject that, believe it or not, I am somewhat well-versed on.

I went back to La Plaza de España, which I was exuberant about being able to spend more time in, and bought a traditional Spain-ish lemonade (can't remember the name). The weather was just hot enough that it was uncomfortable, but comically enough, just hot enough too that a good drink and a cool breeze would make it all better. I walked further into el parque Maria Luisa and sat with Zhenya and some of her folks and helped them study. Which when I mean study, I mean intersperse conversations about how indigenous people got pwned by the Spaniards with discussions about the Office and whether LOST’s Des+Penny are cuter than Jim+Pam. Very thought-provoking, no?

I ran into David and Nick walking in the park and via text from Holli, we decided to go again to la Festiva Medieval again, since this was closing night. I suppose we should have realized that it would be a little sub-par this time, since we got there at 20:00ish (and I later due to a delayed dinner). Everything was shutting down, so Rachael and Katie bought some stuff while David, Nick, Bobby and I “chilled”, watching the goofy Spaniards, dressed in medieval garb and still using their mobiles. Muy irónico. Everybody realized, oh well, the festival had pretty much shut down; the night was yet young, so we decided to continue with our excellent fun.

It’s always more fun to be together. Even if one isn’t doing anything special. Case in point: in la jardín Catalina de Ribera we found a really neat playground, but nothing like what is common in America. The “swings” were spiral, moving around and backandforth. Justin, Holli, and I tried it and we spun ‘till we dizzied ourselves sick. There was also a zipline, which I HAD to try, of course. It was so much fun! We amused ourselves like zany 4 year-olds for 20 minutes or so. Then we regrouped and initiated a quest to find a bar open at 00:00ish on a Sunday evening (which let me tell ya, is a quest indeed).

A brief interlude that I’m reminded of: one of the reasons why NOTHING is open on Sundays is thanks to the immense Catholic influence on Spain. The Catholic presence isn’t just something that exists, next to a diverse collection of other religions. It’s essentially the national religion, which has IMMENSE socio-political implications. First, it is absolutely engrained in Sevillan society. It is engrained in the streets; every street is the name of a saint or an incarnation of a holy figure. It is engrained in the daily activities; streets close dozens of times per month for holy festivals and holy days the streets are absolutely empty and the churches full. It is engrained in the semantics of the language (“gracias a los santos que…,” “ojala que… [etc.]”). It is engrained in the news; as every major event in the Catholic Church receives absolute top billing, almost to the sense that there is a “Pope Watch” trailing the activities of his Holiness. It’s not to say that the commentary about the church is positive. The church has taken quite a lot of heat in the news (perhaps unsurprisingly) about their (as I heard one person say) “antiquated” views of premarital sex, contraception, same-sex relationships, and fiscal policy (yes, I did say fiscal policy). This is especially interesting to me for several reasons. First, there is barely a separation of church and state. Second, nobody really cares. Religion is inextricably tied to Spanish politics. Criticism of Catholic influence of political events isn’t directed against the fact that the Church shouldn’t be involved in politics - it’s directed against the fact that the Church hasn’t updated its politics for the modern age. Third, the Spanish media culture is absolutely 100% opposite that of American media as it relates to religion. The American media consider religion quite taboo and purposely treat religion as “something that those people do” that we can’t talk about on the show. Political correctness has evolved in our immensely heterogeneously religious country and has, quite frankly in my opinion, silenced a lot of extremely important religious-political dialogue that is necessary not only for “believers” but also for the general functioning of the morality upon which we build American society. At the same time (and fourth on my list), since Roman Catholicism is so incredibly written into the underlying code of Spanish society, other religions and practices tend to be either marginalized, or ignored completely. I’m unsure as to whether this “laissez-faire to non-Catholics” approach means that non-Catholic religion is stronger in Spain than in America. I would intuitively guess so, since “alternative” religion is under less “attack”…But I have by this point, created a tangent that is longer than my actual report of what I’m doing in Sevilla. Back to the story, yah?

I left you in suspense in our epic quest to find a bar open on Sunday nights. Well, we wandered on Menendez y Pelayo to the touristier places and found a bar, right next to a GREAT gelato place where we sat outdoors. Haha so funny story (dramatized for your pleasure).

Justin: Quiero sangría.

Colin, Stephanie, Rachael, et. all: Me too!

Stephanie (to waiter): 3 jarras de sangría!!

(Pause).

Rachael: You know, we really can’t drink that much.

Stephanie (to waiter): 2 jarras de sangría….

We were glad we took the lighter amount of sangria. I got gelato (Spanish gelato is very different from Italian gelato, but I’ve already spent too much time on random tangents) and sat down with the group, enjoying, as always, good conversation and good friends. We drank the sangria, which wasn’t as good as the stuff that we had on Calle Betis but still served to satisfy Steph, Justin, and my cravings. The hour we spent there passed all-too-quickly. Sarah G. and I walked back to “Pull & Bear” (the most awesomely named clothing store of all time) and I went to bed.

Episode 6, 5/16/2009 – “Vamos a ponernos crunk.”

2009-05-22T06:12:00.003-04:00

Today was possibly the most epic day ever. One of those days when you lay in bed at 4:00am and restlessly stir because you’ve experienced an eternity in a single day. At 9:30 we left for Itálica, which is an ancient Roman city that was the inspiration for Gladiator. We got a guided tour of the site and its spectacular amphitheater by one of our professors. It was impressive, though disappointing that not more of the ruins exist (being that the town of Itálica is built on top of the ruins). I took LOTS of pictures and absorbed as much of the spirit and feel of the place in my mind as I possibly could. Itálica was my first experience with anything “ancient” being within my touch, so it was a little overwhelming to tread where years-dead Romans once tread.

Afterwards, we went to the beach. Literally. To a place called “Matalascanas”. It was about an hour’s drive, so I took brief naps, which turned out to be an excellent idea. The beach itself was fantastic (also lots of pictures were taken). Our group generally stuck together and we swapped witty conversation (my favorites being reminiscences about classic Disney films and discussions about Julia’s intense whiteness).

I feel obliged to inform you of particular European custom that was quite…interesting. Yep, there were boobies. Lots of topless sunbathing going on here in plain sight. Skinny people, fat people, even 50+ year old mothers. It was a bit shocking and not as much sexy as it was incredibly awkward. Yep…That story really had no point, but I felt like I should share.

Post said nudity, Christine, Andrea, Greg and myself decided to splinter off for a walk where we collected shells and “frolicked” in the FRIGGIN COLD water. Good quote: “esta agua es FRIGGIN COLD”. The water WAS freezing, but we got in anyway and (ala “Finding Nemo”) touched the “Piedra Grande” near the water. Afterwards, we spent some euros on ice cream and took photos. Excellent memories.

We rode back and prepared for a night out on the town. And now, as Monty Python says, for something completely different. Well, I was walking down the street near where I live and on the street corner there was this girl standing in the alcove of a storefront closed for the night. Note that this is a very busy street in a rather crowded area, even at night. The area closes down around 20:00 and she was huddled in the nook, bracing herself against the metal bars that they put down when the stores closes. She was around 16, I’d say, and dressed to…well…she was WAYYY too young to be dressing like that in the first place. I was walking by and we made eye contact. All of a sudden, she steps closer to me and woops there goes her blouse, exposing one of her boobs. She didn’t say anything (I guess I was expecting her to) and I was too shocked to even turn my head back. Even now I can’t decide whether or not she was a ho (as traveling ho’s are apparently quite rampant in Europe), a Janet Jackson impersonation gone wrong (aka Wardrobe Malfunction part 2), or simply a very confused girl attracted to this dashing foreign man walking by (…lol one might say I have a gift?). In any case, it was a truly bizarre experience. I joined up with the group and put Ms. Looseboobs behind me.

As always characteristic with our group, we have grand plans of “doing stuff” that through divine providence always ends up that we sit “doing nothing” and having a damn good time doing it. We had grandiose plans of finally going to Buddha (the 3-story discoteque extravaganza across the river). Our group got a little fragmented and we lost a few people to splintergroups but we rallied the troops and pressed onwards over the river. Our night comprised the following homies: Stephanie, Justin, Holli, Bobby, Greg, Katie, Nick, Sarah G., Rachael, etc. and myself. Enticed by the thought of 4 euro mohitos, we trekked across the river to the always-poppin’ Calle Betis, which is the absolute epicenter of the Sevillan nightlife. The 4 euro mohitos were a bit too crowded, so we plopped down on a sidewalk near the river and a waiter came up to us and took our order for drinks. It was a memorable night, spurred by that fascinating Spanish concoction sangría. SHOUT OUT: Christina, you were totally right, that stuff IS funny juice! Stephanie, Katie and I ordered tapas for the group to share and we ended up staying there for the entire night, “poniendo crunk” (as the Spanish call it) taking pictures, swapping stories, and having an excellent time. We decided that we were too tired to go to Buddha, so we saved that for another day. Nosotros ya pusimos bastante crunk para esta noche.

I walked back with the gang and got to bed at around 4:00 (am, mind ye). Epic day.

Episode 5, 5/15/09 – New friends, old friends, one gigantic city.

2009-05-21T05:56:00.002-04:00

Today was rather surreal. Like a Dalí painting, a Sevilla native himself. Imagine (if you will), un calle Sevillano. It’s lined with cafés, tapas bars, “farmacias,” and of course, creative graffiti. Picture Sevilla orange trees, clustered with oranges, more plentiful than Christmas tree ornaments, adorn the sidewalks and one’s visage. Sitting on a café bench (cleverly avoiding paying for a drink, mind you, by saying “I’m waiting for my friends”) is me.

The morning was uneventful enough, save making plans with Holli, David, Katie and co. for Angeles y Demonios later in the evening. So I’ll skip to the afternoon. On this aforementioned street, I met up with Paige and Zhenya, old homies of mine who have been studying in Seville since January, along with their friend Molly. This is when the surreal part comes in, folks. I walked Eduardo Dato (a very prominent street for all you Americanos. Get used to me referencing this) for quite some time earlier. During this time, I heard only Spanish, saw only Spanish people, spoke only in Spanish, and tried to think in Spanish. Being in a Spanish country and not knowing the language well, one is constantly trying to turn on “Spanish mode”. Preconstructing sentences in Spanish, learning the Spanish street names, etc. Imagine the delightful shock to my brain when I see walking towards me my American friends, the very same people who I said goodbye to last year.

We began the catching-up process and walked to las jardines (gardens) de Catalina de Ribera for a medieval festival. I’d never been to a medieval festival, save once when I was very young, but this one was interesting enough. No jousting, but plenty of falcons, medieval-looking food, candy shaped like a pork bone, commercial/kitchy crafts and gifts, horse rides and Spaniards in medieval dress. Lots of pictures were taken, and Zhenya, Paige and I did some excellent catching-up with our lives. Afterwards, Zhenya and I continued on to el Parque Maria Luisa. It’s an extremely large park with some of the prettiest natural scenery I’ve witnessed thus far in Sevilla. Not incredibly touristy, and filled with Spaniards walking their dogs, wives, and children. The trees were fully in bloom and the heat was countered by a pleasant breeze and the shade of the trees and la Plaza de España. It was excellent and easily one of the best memories I’d had thus far. Zhenya and I bid adieu at some point, and I rested a little for the main event of the evening: Angeles y Demonios with Katie, Holli, David, Nick, Sarah etc.

The walk from our place to the Plaza Nueva was a little intense, but very much worth it. Expect a forthcoming blog post on the nightlife in Sevilla. But let me tell you, 00:30 is a hoppin’ time en el Centro de Sevilla. I got my first glimpse of the famous Catedral de Sevilla, which further piqued my quest to visit it. Also expect a blog post entirely devoted to it. And a blog post devoted entirely to what I thought of the movie (sorry, but I gotta keep you in suspense).

The walk back was epic-in-scope, as we made ties between the movie and “real life” (eg. that Angel is pointing to this building! It’s a sign!”). Afterwards, met up with Michael again, walked home and goodnight moon.

Episode 4, 5/14/09 – This city is a lot bigger than I thought.

2009-05-20T05:05:00.002-04:00

The morning was rather skip-over-able. Michael and I woke up and waited in our room to be moved to our house.

While waiting, I perused a free magazine I found in the lobby called “MAGASOUND.” It was a magazine devoted to techno music. I almost had an eargasm. Techno music is king in all of Europe, especially in Spain. I pretty much picked the best place in the world for a technohead to study abroad! It was so fascinating to me to see a magazine devoted to what they call “musica moderna”. Techno in Spain similar to circa-2000 American rap music in the sense that it has broken into the mainstream by virtue of many talented artists and now is at a critical shaping point. One of the articles in MAGNASOUND interviewed DJs about the direction of techno music and whether it was becoming “too commercial”. “Too commercial”? The words still ring in my head as an example of what a different music culture the techno-loving Spaniards have from us American fans. In other news, when I DID acquire a cellphone, it happened to have FM radio. I tuned into a couple of “pop(ular)” music stations, namely 92.5 and the famous 96.5 “Máxima” (legendary even outside of Spain for being a premier techno station. Like XMBPM in America, before they turned shitty). I heard Robyn’s “With Every Heartbeat” remixed, couple of Armin Van Buuren tracks, “Don’t Cha” (Ralphi Rosario Mix) by the Pussycat Dolls, “Memory” by Fragma and some new song by Bob Sinclar called “What a Wonderful World.” It was like heaven.

We took a cab to el apartamento, which ended up being a really nice house, structured very similarly to a hostel. Our señora, Charo, is a very nice middle-aged lady, a very modern, even eccentric, photographer who rents her rooms out to students when there is no work. Also staying with us (but not through our program) was Julia, from Cuba and looking for work in Sevilla. Charo is very sweet and her eclectic collection of Catholic, Islamic, Buddhist, and Hindu statues, wall scrolls, posters, etc. was unendingly interesting. Sadly, our house does not have internet, so I just might be broken of my annoying facebook addiction. Speaking of pictures, a few have popped up here and there (like swine flu…or en español, la enfermedad de origen porcino). But I’ll concentrate on taking more pictures hopefully sometime soon. Everything is so scenic; it’s hard not to take pictures of everything.

A brief interlude on the concept of the “siesta,” since I promised you folks in Episode 3 a full explanation. The Spanish day is structured as follows: wake up at 8ish, breakfast, which is light, consisting of coffee/tea and toast (maybe), lunch at around 14:00 (oh I didn’t explain this, have I? It’s military time. Wait and see!) which is the big meal of the day, then dinner REALLY late at around 21:00-22:00 which is moderate-sized. After lunch, at around the hours of 15:00-17:00, stuff SHUTS DOWN COMPLETELY. It’s called a siesta. It originated from ye olde days in la España medieval when it was too hot to go outside, but has little practical use today except to frustrate the beejeezus out of study abroad students. In all seriousness, everything closes save El Corte Ingles and a few cafes. The streets are empty. Devoid of cars, bicycles, and people. It’s an urban wasteland. All of this is fascinating for an American writer. And for a B-school kid, especially interesting is the culture of Spanish banking during siesta. In Spain, there’s a bank on every street corner, of 10+ different franchises, but they have hours from 9-13. Saaaayyy whaaa??? How does any reasonable working fellow go to the bank, then? It blows mi mente, especially from a Business perspective. Think on how much revenue is lost every day from not staying open during siesta! As Michael and I both agree, Spanish banks need to update their business model.

Michael and I hung out for the entire day. First, we went to Yoigo (a funny portmanteau of “yo” and “oigo”) for a cellphone. Anyone interested in Business should pay attention to Yoigo’s marketing strategies. Quite frankly, they’re brilliant; and they’ve worked well to capture a major part of the market share in only a couple years. We got the phones (only 29 euros with 5 euros of prepaid minutes) and left for lunch. After lunch (consisting of pasta with red sauce…very… Spanish…?) , we decided to trek to our school to see how long the walk was. 30 minutes. Do-able…but not great. After a lot of walking, we got back to the house. We walked with our señora to an internet café (much better than walking 30 damn minutes for the internet). It’s called SanSora, and is most likely where I will post these little memoirs when I’m not at school. After that, dinner and bed. No real excitement, due likely to the fact that everybody is just now acquiring phones. It’s a shame Spaniards don’t have more free internet, but college kids will find a way, dammit.

Ultra Records has been redeemed!

2009-05-20T04:50:00.005-04:00

Remember waaaay back when I was complaining about how Ultra Records had sold out with abominable compilations like Ultra Dance 10? Well, I don't know if they're fans of my blog or if they finally woke up to all the controversy surrounding their recent turn, but they've turned back onto the path of righteousness!

Case in point: the new Ultra Trance 09! A new 2-disc techno extravaganza with literally some of the best hits of the '08 season and some new Summer '09 hits. The trance is back, with excellent artists like Armin Van Buuren, Oceanlab, and Kaskade headlining the project. Speaking of projects, this is the FIRST Ultra Trance compilation to top the itunes dance charts due to the strength of the new single "Infinity" by the Guru Josh Project and remixed by the very up-and-coming Klaas. Every song on the album is techno/trance brilliance, chosen carefully from the DANCE charts and not the pop charts. In fact, there's not a single pop remix to be found on the album. And Ultra has gone back to LEADING in the industry instead of following, including such breaking and more underground tracks like "The New World" by Markus Shulz.

The initial response from the techno community has been quite positive. "Infinity"'s succes has carried the compilation to the top of the itunes album and singles charts and is expected to fair quite well on Billboard's Top Dance/Electronic Albums chart this Thursday.

I personally am ecstatic that Ultra Records has returned back to their roots. I hope Ultra Trance 09 turns out well for them. For all technoheads out there, I would HIGHLY reccomending picking this album up.

Episode 3, 5/13/2009 – Bienvenidos a Sevilla

2009-05-17T14:21:00.001-04:00

The plane ride to Sevilla happened without much excitement. Little bit of turbulence, but that’s about it. Once in Sevilla, some of us exchanged money, leaving Zack and I guarding the luggage with a mandolin. Very unique. The taxi to the hotel was apparently the “scenic route,” costing 20 euros instead of 15. Ouch. Better watch your back, next time.

After checking into the hotel and dumping the bags, it was time for food. It was around 12ish as I recall and we went exploring for, in Justin’s words, “anything edible”. We found this awesome Tapas place near the hotel, and after realizing in an awkward pause that we order at the counter, we sat ordered, then sat down and waited for dishes. The group consisted of Holli, Justin, Janine, David and myself, and funny/lively conversation abounded. Topics ranged from expectations about Sevilla, life at college/future plans, to the bizarre fact that Shania Twain’s “Don’t Be Stupid” (if I remember right) was playing in the background, along with “Material Girl” by Madonna and some oldish Alanis Morrisette.

Spain is not so different from America, really. It’s extremely Western. Like a sort-of New York built on ancient roots. A few exceptions: internet is not nearly as common, siesta REALLY exists (more on that later), and dressing fashionable is appropriate all the time for whatever age or gender. Especially, it seems, if you’re obese or ugly (hey, not so different from America, right?). Also to that woman on C/ Eduardo Dato: Uggs are still just as fugly in Europe as they are in America. Please change.

Back to lunch. We ordered a mystery tapa (randomly picked) that turned out to be goat cheese with honey and almonds. Very interesting, with a strong aftertaste. Then una tortilla de patatas, suggested by David as a kickass Spanish dish. VERY delicious. And lastly, French fries with bacon and cheese aka patatas fritas con queso y bacón. Classically delicious!

We started looking around a little, moseyed back to the hotel to check facebook and assure our parents that we were, in fact, not dead, just in Sevilla. I met my roommate, Michael, who would turn out to be my roommate for the entire trip. Nice guy, also a BSBA and Spanish kid, so lots in common. There was a trip to a cellphone store, but siesta’s full effect rendered acquiring international cellphones at this point as fail.

Dinner was at a very funky place next to el Real Alcázares, big enough to seat all of us studyabroad folks. It was hidden in back-alleys not much wider than a Mini-Cooper. I sat with David and Nick and waited about 3 whole hours for the damn dinner to be finished. It seemed like they were trying a little too hard to be pleasing to American’s taste palettes. We had basic salad, chicken and French fries, and chocolate ice cream (basically). Good, but not exactly what any of us had in mind.

My grand plans of going out were quickly shattered by the fact that I was exhausted. After a bit of facebook, I ended my first full day in Spain.

Episode 2, 5/13/2009 – On the plane again…Just can’t wait to get off the plane again.

2009-05-16T15:10:00.004-04:00

The flight from Philadelphia is where it gets interesting. At the gate and almost immediately, I recognized my fellow study abroad group by the wealth of college-related paraphernalia we were all wearing. I joined the group for the rest of the plane excursions, re-met people I once knew and (attempted) to remember the names of the new folks. Haha, still working on that, but in all, very successful.

I spent the flight sitting next to Janine, watching a dumb movie called Inkheart, interspersing that with “Lord Jim” by Joseph Conrad and conversations about LOST’s upcoming season finale. Gotta love me my Des+Penny.

I’m convinced Tylenol PM is a sham, invented in collusion by doctors and Satan. It failed to put me to sleep (in a good way) on the plane and I spent about 4 hours in a bizarre intermittent zombie-sleep/notsleep period, crunched between my backpack and the lack of legroom on U.S. air flights. Icky, right? In any case, plane lands in Barcelona y todo cambio.

Thank you Mom and Dad, I had already acquired Euros (that magic tool for quenching thirst). First thing I bought was “Nécter de Piña,” aptly enough, pineapple nectar. It was excellent, but not very thirst-quenching. Plus, I really didn’t get a chance to use Spanish. A running gag in the entire trip goes like this:

Me (in broken Spanish): ….Ah….Quiero la Nécter de Piña, por favor.

Salesperson (in English): Oh, okay. That’s two euros.

I guess we’re dead giveaways for being American, right? I bought some souvenirs (mmmhmmhm….Wouldn’t you like to know what they are?) and waited for the plane to Sevilla.

Episode 1, 5/12/2009 – The Last Chic-fil-A in America

2009-05-16T14:52:00.002-04:00

It’s a strange sight, really. The food court in Philadelphia International, I mean. Referred to by everyone as “Philly.” Take a look. There’s the Indian couple to the left, with their 10ish pink Indian princess taking pictures with her Dad’s camera and speaking in a cute, but grammatically torturous Tamil/English combo. There’s also the white basketball player dead ahead from UNCC. His backpack and “tall” attitude gives him away, besides the fact that he’s a freaking giant. He finished his fries, rubs his head, and leaves. Then there’s the old guy sitting to the right, looking like a blind man, his giant blue eyes so focused dead-ahead it’s almost like they can’t see at all. He’s reading a book called “Hitler’s Spies” and staring a hole into his salad. If he’d look up to the left he’d see a kid sitting alone at a red foodcourt table with his tightly-packed suitcase and his Swiss Army backpack. He’s eating a chicken sandwich and noticing everything, maybe even a little too much. He’s still and the rest of the world is moving around him That kid’s me. And this is my trip to Sevilla.

The Sevilla Travel Blog of Doom....and Pancakes -- Introduction

2009-05-16T14:48:00.000-04:00

The Sevilla Travel blog of doom…and pancakes.

Introduction -

Hey guys, I've decided to blog about my experiences, since I'm in one of the most scenic, beautiful, and creatively fascinating places in the entire world. The point of this blog/journal/musings is not to have a definite purpose or a goal or even a consistent style. As they say in Spanish literature, the genre is “maqamat”. My “point” here is simply to tell. Whatever I feel like telling, from everything that I have seen. Please enjoy and give constant commentary, of course. :)

Movie Review: The Apartment (1960)

2009-05-05T00:42:00.006-04:00

So I'd been thinking about transferring all of my old reviews from Flixster over to my blog. But after realizing that I rated about 266, I decided against it. Instead, what I'ma do is review movie that I RECENTLY have seen or movies that I feel I have something unique to share with you guys.

For this review, I'm cookin' up some old school flava with "The Apartment". Brief plot teaser: C.C. Baxter is a grunt at his insurance firm, but manages to ascend the corperate ladder by loaning his aparment to his superiors for their licencious extramerital affairs. Kinky...Especially for the 1960's. Add a crush on the elevator girl and one badass Fred MacMurray villain and you've got a hilarious and suprisingly deep comedy-drama.

Billy Wilder, of Some Like It Hot fame, scores again another comedy-drama masterpiece. His hilarious and deep original screenplay includes complex yet easily-identifiable characters, exhibiting the same idiosyncrasies and common flaws that normal people have. For example, even the seemingly insignificant inclusion of C.C. Baxter’s cold provides for great realism and comedy. Plus, the dialogue is hilarious and deliciously off-kilter. My favorite example of this is the classic “spaghetti-making” scene with the tennis racquet and the great line, “You should see my backhand.”

Plus, Wilder's always-inventive directorial style pushes new bounds of cinema (note the great opening scene). The thing that makes The Apartment so brilliant is the seamless integration of meaningful, well-written dialogue (“makes me look just the way I feel”) with well-shot dramatic situations and easily loveable/hateable characters to make it a satisfying film that we can watch again and again. Considered by many to be one of the funniest movies ever, The film lands at #93 on the AFI's (American Film Institute) list of Top 100 Films, as well as at #20 on their list of Top 100 Laughs. Check it out and laugh thy ass off.

A vlog apologizing for the lack of vlogs??

2009-05-04T00:12:00.009-04:00

Indeed. Circuitous, but true. Sorry guys, but I've been busy. Promise to get on the ball again soon. In the meantime, keep sending my blog to all yo friends and help me with suggestions on how to improve the site!

Music Review: The Head On The Door - The Cure (1985)

2009-04-06T15:24:00.009-04:00

The Cure really started to come into it's own on this album. Robert Smith exchanged moody experimental goth-rock on "Pornography" and "The Top" (the latter of which was an abomination to rock music), for the more radio friendly, synth-drum sound that made The Cure one of the defining rock acts in the 80's and the fathers of modern Goth music.

Next to "Disintegration," "The Head on the Door" is easily their best work. Every song adds something new with old classic The Cure shtick, including catchy beats and riffs, creepy/introspective lyrics and Smith's haunting vocals. Some may say that The Cure turned "pop" from this record, but it's simply not true. The dark subject matter is still there, obviously, with songs like "The Blood" and "Baby Screams." And Smith's command of experimentation isn't completely lost either, as a lot of the guitar effects at the time were quite revolutionary, using synthesizers and some distortion to achieve a rockin' effect (note "Screw"'s driving guitar hook).

Each song is practically a masterpiece. Even the so-called "filler." They all flow excellently in the makeup of the album, but stand out well as singles. And the hits "In Between Days" and "Close To Me" exhibit wonderfully catchy 80's synthpop sensibilities that make the band accessible to non tight-pants-chains-wearing folk. It's classic.

MY RATING: Highly recommended as a pioneering goth-rock album and one of the best 80's rock albums ever. Extremely replayable and catchy.

Music Review: Love Is Dead - Kerli (2008)

2009-04-06T00:28:00.009-04:00

Kerli made her initial impact early in 2007 in her native Estonia. Since being signed to Island Records, she's been proclaimed Goth child extraordinaire and the next Björk by the critics. What's the lowdown on her debut "Love is Dead," though?

Perhaps characteristically, the album is decent, but mostly constructed to show Kerli's potential to put out good singles. It's surprisingly pop-tailored with the catchy title song and "Walking On Air" being the first singles, both deliciously creepy and fun and radio-friendly. Perhaps the greatest weakness of Kerli's album is that it is too radio-friendly and the potential for Björk-like experimentation and avant-garde electro/pop is neutralized. This isn't really Kerli's niche though. She seems to do quite well in her chosen formula with other album tracks like "The Creationist" and "Butterfly Boy." However, the majority of the non-singles are trying too hard to tread a very odd line between gothy and poppy that just doesn't exactly work. Kerli's too kid-friendly to be adult and far too adult to be kid-friendly. It's an awkward, yet fascinating combination. On the plus side, she's got a very unique and and great voice that carries her style well and most of the songs are at least catchy.

MY RATING: If anything, "Love Is Dead" shows that Kerli has excellent potential for growth. Wait until the next album to see if she matures any or falls flat.

Music Review: Ghetto Classics - Jaheim (2005)

2009-04-05T23:49:00.009-04:00

I've decided to let iTunes shuffle guide my latest few album reviews, focusing more on quantity than quality of reviews (although, hey I'll admit it, the quality will still be baller).

Jaheim's 2005 entry into the contemporary R&B world "Ghetto Classics" made him a star. Singles like "The Chosen One" and "Everytime I Think About Her" blended equal parts classic soul with modern hip-hop/thug sensibilities, making Jaheim equal parts Sam Cooke and R. Kelly. In short, the formula works brilliantly.

Jaheim's got a great voice, and sings about relevant contemporary R&B topics with clever lyrics (notably "Daddy Thing," "Like A DJ," "Fiend"). Song-wise, 90% of the album is wonderful smooth modern R&B mixed with a couple club-bangers just to keep it relevant. Jaheim even dabbles in a bit of nu-soul on "Come Over" and "Like A DJ". Jaheim hasn't made a perfect album, and there's still some icky filler like "125th" and "Masterpiece," and he's yet to strech his vocal ability to R. Kelly levels or master the club-cut like Ushser, but overall the album showcases Jaheim's break from undergound ghetto singer to a modern master of R&B.

MY RATING: Must-listen for all fans of classic and modern R&B. Has some problems, but definitely redeemed by his unique voice and great "ghetto/classic" style

Music Review: LOtUSFLOW3R (3-Disc) - Prince (2009)

2009-04-03T11:20:00.016-04:00

His Purple Badness is back with 3 discs of Minneapolis sound. Literally. I've got the lowdown on all three and then a cumulative total of the entire LOtUSFLOW3R package.

1. Elixer. As you open up the album package, the first thing you see is Bria Valente's new album "Elixer" which is essentially an attractive woman singing smooth R&B songs written by Prince. Bria has been mega hyped up in the internet world for being the next Sade, but I take a more realistic viewpoint of her: the only thing she's got going for her is a good voice and the fact that she's associated with Prince. And we all know how sucessful Prince's previous proteges are (*cough cough* Tamar=Failure). That being said, the fact that these are Prince songs with a pretty woman singing them IS a major strength of the album. Bria's got a pretty voice with a pretty unremarkable range and tone. The songs are mediocre, with the exception of "Another Boy" (which might have some star potential). It's not traditional Prince slow jams either. It's trying to be hip with modern structure and lyrics and instrumentation and just falls a little flat because it's not edgy or clever enough. It's not that "Elixer" is bad. It's just overpowered by the other 2 disks. Plus, we never really thought that Bria would make it in modern R&B next to Beyonce and Ciara, so she might as well play the Sade thing for as long as she can before people get tired of it.

2. LOtUSFLOW3R. Here's the gold of the album. Easily Prince's best recording since Emancipation (some might argue since Sign 'O' The Times). Prince channels a little bit of Jimmy Hendrix and goes back to his roots and the one thing that made him famous in 1984: his godlike guitar skills. The entire album is powerful, catchy, and ROCKIN'. Musically, it's similar to Sign 'O' The Times, but with slightly more of an "organic" feel. Plenty of synthesizers and funk/rock, but no drum machines here. Prince does everything from social criticism to gorgeous love ballads on this album, all with quality singles with rockin' guitar solos and riffs and clever synth hooks, hearkening back to the Prince we knew and loved in the 80's. In the light of Prince's epic failure with "Planet Earth" and his attempt to break into mainstream minimalistic R&B with "3121," it's nice to see Prince is still making complex arrangements and making "back to basics" cool again. Bets songs are "Crimson and Clover," "Colonized Mind," and "Dreamer". Listen to these and if you don't get hooked, you ain't got no soul.

3. MPL Sound. Here's where Prince starts to get a little...Creative. Whereas LOtUSFLOW3R sounds great in a modern context by drawing elements of Prince's classic rock material for the modern world, MPL Sound ties to do the same with Prince's classic R&B/Funk material and has mixed results. The album really does sound like you went back in time and made a sequel to Prince's "1999". The drum machines and old synthesizer patters just seem...out of place. And there's not much "new" here to make it modern. I mean, it's great to hear a sort of a vintage "lost" Prince album, but is it really relevant? Obviously not. That's not Prince's point, of course, but it is something that will prevent MPL Sound for being as accessible to the mainstream R&B community and Top 40 singles radio. Speaking of singles, there are sure some funky ones here. "Dance 4 Me" and "Valentina" are both get-on-the-floor funky. But where's the sexy? To some that say Prince has lost his sexy, I rather agree. Even "Chocolate Box" is more love-ly than sexy. Overall, the album is interesting and funky and great for fans of Prince's old Minneapolis Sound, but I can't imagine it'll crack into the Billboard Charts like LOtUSFLOW3R will.

MY RATING: The sheer godlike brilliance of LOtUSFLOW3R redeems Bria Valente and MPL Sound can hold it's own as a good "classic" Prince album. It's one of Prince's best and easily the greatest material he's put out in the 21st century.

Humor: Watchmen Review (LIMITED TIME ONLY)

2009-03-27T15:19:00.017-04:00

Hey guys. Youtube sucks lots of unnamed bodily parts, so for a limited time only, I'm posting my Watchmen movie review video here. Enjoy and COMMENT!

Awesome Living 101: Make yo own damn t-shirt!

2009-03-23T17:48:00.000-04:00

So, like a normal, everyday person I was browsing the internet looking for cool t-shirts that represented my favorite bands/books. I was distressed to know that $19.99 plus shipping was not in a college student's budget for lame-ass Ayn Rand Objectivist paraphernalia of black t-shirts containing witty epithets. It was then that I had a momentary bout of indie. I know, a dangerous proposition, right? I discovered the cure for cancer, AND the cure to my t-shirt blues. I'll make mah OWN damn t-shirt.

I had heard about these things before, but never done it myself (sounds like a bizarre form of the kissing game, doesn't it?). Nevertheless, I decided that as awesome as it is to tote around one's obnoxious philosophical beliefs on a t-shirt, it's even MORE awesome to design it how YOU want it.

And now, dear reader, like Buddha, I impart my enlightenment onto you in the hopes that you will be inspired to do something equally as creative and indie. So begins the photo essay!

1. The Materials.
You'll need to buy the iron-on transfer sheets first and foremost. These babies are sheets of paper that you print your design on, and then iron into your t-shirt to make the design stick on to the shirt like Star Jones on Krispy Kreme. Additionally, you'll need the iron, a t-shirt (white cotton seems to work best), a paper cutter (or scissors), and a decent printer (I'd recommend an ink-jet).

2. The Design.
Obviously, it needs to be something cool. If not, why are you doing this in the first place? I chose Ayn Rand's inimitable Atlas Shrugged classic original dust jacket cover, sort of ala Great Gatsby, to be my newest t-shirt. Print out the deign, making sure that you keep the printer settings on "Best" and let it dry.

3. The Placing.
Each iron-on transfer differs on whether you put the image face-up or face-down, so make sure to read the directions. Place your t-shirt on a pillowcase to absorb the heat and place the image on your shirt and cover it with a piece of parchment paper. Heat up the iron on the cotton setting and you're ready for the transfer.

4. The Transfer.
This is the only tricky part. You need to go slow with the iron, but not too slow so it makes obnoxious lines (which happened to me once on a failed project). Do one pass along the design of 5 "strokes" of the iron (kinky...) putting only 20 seconds on each stroke. Then do 5 strokes with hard pressure and 20 seconds each. Make sure to flatten all corners, but don't let the iron sit on any one part too long.

5. The Big Reveal.
Wait a few minutes, then slowly peel off the parchment. Your design should look lovely. If it doesn't, then you'll have to try again, quite frankly. Pending its awesomeness, wait 24 hours before washing the shirt. Note that the design WILL "crinkle" to fit the shape of the shirt, but it doesn't really ruin the design, but instead changes the texture of the design. Very cool stuff. So far, my shirt has lasted quite well after at least 3 washes.

And there you have it. Awesome Living 101: Do it yo own damn self.

For further information, check out this video from Thread Banger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnmIgbvPihU
For those of you who don't know about Threadbanger, they're a alternative fashion site that specializes in DIY projects. Definitely required reading for all creative-minded persons.

Shout Outs:
Ayn Rand for inspiring the project. (Sorry that I ripped your design off, but not really since I paid for all 1000 pages of your damn book).
Sam R. for continuing to surprise me with her creative projects (eg. her indie-drawer).

Ultra Records has sold out

2009-03-11T23:33:00.019-04:00

Woe to the music world when a respected techno record company such as Ultra Records commits the greatest atrocity known to good music: selling out. Even if you're not familiar with Ultra Records, listen to my requiem for a label.

First, a brief history lesson: Ultra Records was founded in 1995 by former Virgin executives who were tired of the way mainstream techno was being handled and thought they could do it better. In short, they were right. Ultra Records became quite literally the biggest and most respected record label for all things techno, producing records by techno gods like Armin van Buuren, Kaskade, Tiesto, Benny Benassi, and even Paul Oakenfold. Ultra was responsible for the growth of techno in the late 90's as a "mainstream" genre and by 2005, in the age of Cascada, had managed to create a substantial audience for techno with their excellent marketing strategies and command of the market. PS. if you're in business school, by chance, this is the paradigm of capturing a niche market. See me for details.

Here's a sample that's relevant to my discussion. Ultra Records, much to the dismay of #2 rival Robbins Entertainment (responsible for the Cascada/D.H.T. advent of 2005) had ALWAYS been able to draw people in to techno with one excellent tool: Compilations. Ultra consistently put together the BEST compilations of techno singles yearly with such series like "Ultra Dance," (their most popular) "Ultra Trance," "Ultra 200_" (insert year here. My personal favorite series), and "Ultra presents Thrivemix". Samples of some of the best of these compilations are scattered throughout this review.

Now, the thing that was great about these compilations, especially Ultra Dance, was the ability to take killer pop remixes, put together with Billboard Dance Top 20 hits and market it as a hip, sexy way to listen to cool techno music. Note that almost ALL Ultra Records compilations feature nearly-nude models on the covers, some of their older records even including pull-out posters. It's brilliant, really. The customer gets the excellent music, and the satisfaction that they are somehow on the edge of things and being risque or avant-garde. Terrific stuff.

And this is where Ultra Records has failed. On their newest compilation, Ultra 10, Ultra Records has included pop music. Yes, pop music. Not pop remixes. Standard, straight-up pop/hip-hop. Not even remixed. Just pure pop. The techno element is still there, but it's marginalized, shoved towards the back of the album. Hoping that people will keep the CD on long enough to get to the actual dance music and maybe like it. Don't believe me? Well, let's look at the tracklisting, shall we? The first two songs: "Live Your Life" by T.I. and Rihanna and then "Bust It Baby Part 2" by Plies and Ne-Yo. Both Top 40 pop songs by mainstream pop artists, no remixing, no techno.

How much more sell out can you get?! This unprecedented atrocity that Ultra has committed has not gone unnoticed by techno fans, who are quickly abandoning the series. However, as to be expected, the series is now more popular than ever with the pop crowd.

I'm usually not opposed to letting the techno element slide a little bit in favor of drawing people into the genre, but this is TOO MUCH. Ultra compilations were always a little dicey for hardcore dance/electronica fans simply because the pop remix element was so strong. I personally liked it, listened to it, bought into it. Ultra Records now is betraying the very same thing that made them so respectable in the techno community: they NEVER pandered to popular pressure. Ultra always had great taste and went with it, being a LEADER in the industry, not a follower. And it's not like their old formula wasn't working. People respected Ultra. Perhaps with recent economic strings tightening, Ultra was forced to sell out to pay bills, but that's against the spirit of the industry. To be quite frank, what the FUCK is T.I. doing on a TECHNO music compilation?! It's disgusting. And the rest of the compilation is barely-remixed pop songs: no new or original techno tunes involved. It's a nightmare.

Ultra has a difficult choice to make now: continue on the road they're traveling, win more Top 40 pop fans, and lose ALL respect from the people who supported them in the first place, or admit their mistake, repent, say a few hail Mary's and hope that their next compilation album will be able to bridge both gaps.

I personally am quite disappointed. This kind of shit is NOT tolerated in the dance/electronica community. Note that I'm not blogging about this just to whine. I'm blogging about this in the hopes that other people will recognize that this change has occurred, note the consequences it has for all techno music fans, and stop buying Ultra until they change their attitude towards their original fans.

Otherwise, it's R.I.P. Ultra Records in my book.

Movie Review: Watchmen (2009)

2009-03-07T14:06:00.017-05:00

Here it is, folks: my official Watchmen review. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to approach the review from two perspectives: a fan's perspective (my perspective) and I'll sit in the seat of a Watchmen neophyte to try and review this film. Note that I'm GOING TO SPOIL THE ENDING, so beware if you haven't seen the film yet.

First, from a fan's perspective, this movie does a GOOD (not great, but good) job of capturing the major themes and feel of the novel.

Watchmen the movie looks flashy enough, with gritty "superhero" action (a little too stylized for my tastes, but hey this IS Zack Snyder of "300" right?) and essentially a scene-by-scene and chapter-by-chapter adaptation of the novel that is remarkably faithful to the storyline. The subplots are of course eliminated for time's sake, but the fact that the movie consciously recognizes the subplots' existences wins big points from me (eg. the inclusion of the psychologist towards the end of the film). The iconic scenes look AMAZING, like Dr. Manhattan's watch-inspired palace on Mars. I can easily see this film being nominated for Art Direction at the next Academy Awards because, quite simply, the film is gorgeous.

The acting (ironically enough) is another MAJOR strength. All of the characters, with the exception of Ozymandias, are extremely convincing in their roles, especially Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach. Dialogue is 85% lifted directly from the novel, taking advantage of Allen Moore's brilliant writing style. All the actors use it wonderfully and make the characters come alive on screen. Ozymandias is a little tougher, only because the character has changed so much that it's a little off-putting for a fan to convincingly accept Matthew Goode's portrayal.

As to the cinematography, it is decent, but the "300" visual style gets clunky in awkward places when slow-motion just seems to take too long and can be completely unnecessary. The other major problem is that Zack Synder's antics are no longer "revolutionary" (if they ever were) and now just seem a little overdrawn in the film.

I'll talk only briefly about the Music and score, both of which are sub-par simply because it is too explicit in the film instead of going for subtlety. "All Along the Watchtower" being the most notorious example. Not that it's bad, it just isn't great. The "Desolation Row" cover during the credits, however, is fantastic and fits the mood perfectly.

Now, onto the big "love-or-hate" controversy of the film: the TREMENDOUS amounts of nudity, sex, and violence. Yes, Watchmen the novel is an extremely sexy and violent graphic novel, but the movie takes it to horrifying new levels (eg. when Rorschach confronts the child killer). The problem with this is that it takes Watchmen's axioms of subtlety and deconstructing the superhero archetype and turns it, in the words of my brother, into a "freakshow". I agree that, for a fan, this is one of the most strange and unfortunate changes about the movie.

The other is the ending. I personally can reconcile the new ending due to the fact that a giant H.P. Lovecraftian alienthing can be hard to explain and construct in a 2-hour movie. However, the new ending has the major disadvantage is that it changes the character of Dr. Manhattan into a scapegoat, something that was NEVER in the novel and that Allen Moore would NOT have ever approved of. The other problem about the movie ending is that the CHOICE of whether or not to agree with Oxymandius's actions is taken from the audience. Now, the ending is presented as a lesser-of-two-evils situation in which Nite Owl explicitly states to Ozymandias that it is wrong, although they're forced to go along with it....NOT AT ALL analogous to the Watchmen novel. The movie BEGS to have the "I did the right thing didn't I?" scene in it, instead of Laurie paraphrasing the scene.

To wrap it up from a fan's perspective, the greatest aspect of the Watchmen film is the fact that it DOESN'T suck. Adapting Watchmen into movie format is a bit like adapting Shakespeare for the screen: you know you won't be able to do it better than the original, so you're going to have to make it different, or comparably true to the original. Watchmen opts for the latter and does so effectively, allowing it to appease most non-hardcore fans with a action-packed, visually spectacular rendition of the story.

For a non-fan or a Watchmen neophyte, I imagine the film would be extremely disappointing. It moves quickly, assuming you know the basic storyline, and its complex interworking of flashbacks is otherwise incomprehensible. Synder does attempt to draw in some of the non-superhero crowd by including some well choreographed action sequences (complete with bone-shattering action). It's icing on the cake for Watchmen fans, and a B-grade "Kung-Fu Panda" imitation for others. In short, if you know nothing about Watchmen the novel, I'd avoid the movie like the plague.

MY RATING: Good for fans, confusing for non-fans. Suffers from some notable plot changes, but en masse, captures the spirit and themes of the novel. Enjoyable and replayable.

Congratulations to me!

2009-03-07T13:52:00.004-05:00

200 views? That's more than I would have ever expected in 1 and 1/2 months! Thank you guys for making this site a reality and for promoting it and always leaving those kick-ass comments!

As of today, I've officially unveiled this site unto the world, allowing it do be found from the internet and from Blogger.com. One step closer to world domination...

So tell all your friends, subscribe, or become a follower, and keep leaving me suggestions about how to improve the site and the kind of content that you want to see. Especially if you have a site too, link to me or plug me in some way and I'll make sure to do the same. Keep the fire burnin'!

Shoutouts: Ross and Christina for taking me to Watchmen!

- DJ Dustbunny

Music Review: Youthanasia - Megadeth (1994)

2009-02-26T23:51:00.013-05:00

What does a thrash band do after the massive success of "Countdown to Extinction" in 1990? Record Youthanasia. The answer isn't quite that simple, of course. But Megadeth's new direction on this album is a definite gold moment in the history of metal music.

So what's different, exactly? Well, there's no shortage of thrash. The killer solo on "Train of Consequences" echoes "Skin o' My Teeth" and proves that Megadeth can still rock harder than you can brush your teeth. The face-melting power of "Symphony of Destruction" is somewhat lost here, but Youthanasia easily makes up for it with increasingly melodic songs, taking advantage of interesting bass techniques and Mustaine's awesome voice. Megadeth is less focused on blasting your ears with socio-political criticism and stories of cyborgs-gone-wrong on this album and more about delivering a more head-nodding then head-banging sound.

Does that spell sell out? Definitely not. It spells experimentation. The metal sensibility of Youthanasia is stronger than ever with songs like "Elysian Fields" and "The Killing Road". The genius of Youthanasia is how it travels the road paved by Metallica and does wonderful things. Listen to "Black Curtains" to catch some "The Black Album" influence, for example.

Now, time to talk about "A Tout le Monde," easily a candidate for best melodic metal song of all time. A Tout le Monde is Megadeth's answer to Metallica's "One". Both are supremely epic sounding, alternating between heavy/light guitars with genius and melodic skill. The guitar solo is excellent, and Mustaine delivers the most powerful singing that definitely surpasses most metal singers (even surpassing Hetfield's growl on One). And gotta love the lyrics. Mustaine is the only person I can think of to make French sound metal.

MY RATING: Classic metal album. Melodic and radio-friendly for newbies to the genre and has excellent singles. Stands out in the genre as one of the best.

Restaurant Review: Vespa Ristorante

2009-02-15T11:40:00.006-05:00

Traditionally, Italian is a cuisine that's "difficult to f*** up," as my friend Ryan would say. But there's a strong distinction between "good Italian food" and "great Italian food". Ristorante Vespa, found off of East Franklin Street, is an example of the latter.

The place itself is charming and quaint, filled with Italian movie posters of American films, maroon curtains, and plenty of Greco-Roman style mirrors. Upon entrance, it's clear that the place has class. Easily the most striking aspect of the restaurant is the service. Upon finishing your water, it is IMMEDIATELY (and I mean immediately) refilled. The food was prompt, and so was the check.

As to the food, I sampled 4 main courses and 1 appetizer (as our party engaged in, "ooh that looks good" kind of dining). The appetizer was the Scotatta: fried mozzarella wrapped in procuitto with tomatoes and red peppers. Too small of a portion, but delicate and delicious. My main course was the Penne al Fumo which was outstanding. The pink sauce was light but strongly flavorful and the pasta was perfect. Other dishes I tried were the Gnocchi Sorrentino, a chicken dish (which I have forgotten the name of) which were both good and the lamb shank, which was dry and dissapointing. Overall, authentic and very satifying.

Pricing was reasonable, and I paid $14.00 for the main course. We opted not to do dessert, but the menu looked excellent.

MY RATING: Very good Italian, and easily the best I have seen on Franklin. Could use a more consistent serving style and to master the meat dishes (eg. the lamb). Overall, reccomended for a upscale dining experience.

Fuck Lady Gaga

2009-02-07T18:44:00.008-05:00

It's time to unearth the ugly truth about America's new reigning "techno diva." The catchy single "Just Dance" and follow-up single "Poker Face" seem innocent and catchy enough, but after I'm done with you, you'll see that this whack chick is an abominable sell-out.

I'm approaching my argument as I would a history lesson. I didn't always hate Lady Gaga. I heard about her WAYYY back in early April 2007 when she was first making major waves in the internet techno community as the newest brainchild of producers RedOne, the geniuses behind Robyn's newest electro-hip-hop comeback. Lady Gaga was unique in that she had a definite techno sensibility paired with the flashy performance style of glam rock, ala "Black Cherry"-era Goldfrapp. Her original single "Boys Boys Boys" started getting a bit of club play and I started taking notice.

Gaga finally got signed to a major label and produced the ORIGINAL single "Just Dance". It is here that I must be clear. The ORIGINAL club mix of the single in August 2007 played on techno radio was a fun jammin' techno track, heavily sythesized, heavy drums, fun danceable shit. The closest thing you can find now that resembles this version is the album cut on her album "The Fame", but note that the original version had no Colby O' Donnis. I liked the single because it had major crossover appeal. Lady Gaga's crazy pop antics and her mastery of catchy, danceable hooks had all the hallmarks of doing what Cascada failed to do in 2005/2006: introduce the mainstream pop crowd into the joys of true dance music, put hooks in 'em, and real 'em in with continually powerful hits.

But here is where my hate train leaves the station. Gaga, the shallow performer that she is, got a break on "Dancing With The Stars" in August 2008, performing "Just Dance" in front of a major television audience. Characteristically, when the Top-40 people are forcefully introduced to techno, they wake up and realize that it's awesome. Lady Gaga suddenly had the power to make a difference in the techno world. Lady Gaga, however, did the EXACT OPPOSITE: she sold out.

As soon as she got her break, Lady Gaga teamed up with Akon's Konvict music and crossed the bridge into pop music, burning the bridge behind her. Akon put Colby O'Donnis on the track, and created the version of "Just Dance" that's on the album. Gone was the heavy synthesized pumping bass and in came Colby's whining verse and dumb lyrics. The song became Pop. "Just Dance" topped the Itunes Dance charts. Itunes, sensing the sellout...*cough cough* excuse me, "cross over" appeal of the song stopped classifying Lady Gaga as dance and moved her into Pop in August 2008. Lady Gaga had finally betrayed her roots and had become cliche, bubblegum, silly danceable pop music ala Pussycat Dolls and began being picked up by Top 40 radio stations.

But Lady Gaga's betrayl of anything called "dance" was not complete! NO! Far from it. Lady Gaga invigorated by her newfound success changed "Just Dance" EVEN MORE! There not just two versions of the single, but three! Chances are, if you turned on the radio right now, the version that you would hear features Akon and Kardinal Offishal. Let me repeat, Akon and Kardinal Offishal! The song was COMPLETELY rearranged to include the best elements of Akon and Offshal's failed single "Dangerous" and put the beat and piano hooks centered around Gaga's vocals. Almost ANY traces of the original club mix were essentially destroyed by this new version of "Just Dance", now penned the "RedOne Radio Edit".

And as to be expected, Lady Gaga finally got the break she "deserved". As soon as it became pop, "Just Dance" shot up into the Top 10 of the Hot 100. Accordingly, the techno community has completely abandoned her. Want proof? Look on her "Remixes" of "Just Dance" on Itunes. Recognize a single REPUTABLE techno remixer or DJ who has produced any of the remixes? Nope. All the remixes are produced by hack DJs or are cleverly disguised re-versions of alternate Konvict remixes. (Note that the appearance of Richard Vission, a once-respected DJ may seem slightly contradictory, but it's not. Vission hasn't had a hit in years, and is, quite honestly, desperate).

In short, Lady Gaga is a fucking sell-out. If I could have 5 minutes alone with her, this is what I would say. I'd say, Ms. Gaga, I know "The Fame" of Top 40 success is lucrative, but if you continue on this dark, dark road, 5 years from now no one will remember you. At least Cascada is still respected in the techno community for staying true to their roots. The only people who respect you are drag queens and people who don't know any better. You are quite simply now just one of the many "rising pop stars" who, without a serious course correction, will never have another hit.

Lady Gaga = FAIL. If you're at all into techno, stay away from this sell-out shit. Pick up the newest Kylie album or Amin Van Buuren's GODLIKE "Imagine" and groove on.

Music Review: Johnny Cash Remixed (2009)

2009-01-28T19:33:00.010-05:00

The release of this album pissed me off so much I couldn't even stand it. I had to write a review to explain how truly disgusting this is to techno music critics like myself.

First of all, let's give this bold idea the benefit of the doubt. What exactly is it trying to accomplish? Well, according to Amazon.com's review, "The goal was to bring the sensibility and technology of 2009 to recordings universally accepted as timeless with the endorsement and cooperation of the custodians of Johnny Cash's legacy."

Woops.

In today's music industry, remixing is one of two things: an art form, or commercial milking. This album is an unequivocal example of the latter. Who exactly thought it would be a good idea to take songs like "I Walk The Line" and "Folsom Prison Blues" and turn them into techno/electronic/rap songs? Dumb producers who are hoping that fans of Johnny Cash will forget their good sense and respect for the Man in Black and buy this compilation, that's who.

But enough about that. Let's examine the music directly. First track is the main single "I Walk The Line" (QDT Remix featuring Snoop Dogg). Yes, you heard right, the D-O-double-G. It's a rap song structured around Johnny Cash's original chorus. Seriously?! Yep, seriously. Besides the fact that the song is SO ICONIC in American country music and can't really ever be topped as an original, so-called "remix" is an absolute piece of trash. It blows my mind (another Snoop reference) that tha Doggfather would EVER EVER EVER have the audacity to lend his rapping and filthy lyrics to a remake of Johnny Cash. The beat is idiotic, the rhymes are lame, and the production quality is worse than amatueur! You can almost hear the vinyl scratching as the play the Cash vocal sample next to the bleeping electronic hook. It's not a pretty sound to hear poor Johhny 's soulful lyrics mismatched with hip-hop beats, obnoxious violins, and synthesized "ooh-ooh"ing. Oh, and hear that sound? Really faint in the background. Yep, the moaning. That's Johnny rolling over in his grave.

But wait...there's MORE. The rest of the album either continually dabbles in awkward hip-hop with shitty production quality, or commits cardinal sin #2 by venturing into techno. Techno?! Indeed techno. The rest of the album tries to pull a Fatboy slim and make the album funky, underground, and upbeat to disastrous effects... Take the pitiful "Big River" (Count de Money Remix) for example. It's got the same grainy production quality and dumb instrumentation. The worst of these has got to be "Folsom Prison Blues". THERE IS NO BLUES in this remix! The heart and soul of the song has been erased by a repeating drumbeat and synth-piano hook. ARGH! No longer is Johnny's call of "Now I can't be free" relevant. No longer are we able to take the song and the message seriously.

The only somewhat decent remix is the "Get Rhythm" (Phillip Steir Remix), which like Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation" (JXL Remix) manages to correctly match the flavor of the original with some new funky electro. Here's the difference: they re-master his voice with synthesizers and eliminate the background static! GENIUS! Why didn't they do that in the first place?! I will never know, but it makes the album at least not abominable. Plus the original song was never THAT iconic or interesting in the first place, so you're allowed some leverage. But how in the world are you expected to remake "I Walk The Line" successfully? The answer is...you can't.

For me, albums like these are a symptom of a almost-fatal disease that is pervading today's music world. Producers decide that if they can't make new music, it's best to rehash old music. There's nothing wrong with that, per say, but the problem is that shoddy producership and the lust for quick profits ruins the project. I've seen too many albums like "Billie Holiday Remixed", "Donna Summer Remixed", "KC & The Sunshine Band Remixed" absolutely FAIL not because it was such a bad idea in the first place, but because the record label won't let good DJ's and remixers in on the project. And then there are some albums, like Johnny Cash Remixed, that should never have been made in the first place. It's an embarrassment to good dance/electronica music and an embarrasment to the memory of Johnny Cash.

MY RATING: Terrible. Truly terrible and miserably bad. But don't take my word for it. See it yourself at http://www.spinner.com/new-releases#/3 you can listen to it free for a limited time and let your ears bleed. Once you realize the health dangers of listening to it, follow the advice of Johnny Cash and "Leave That Junk Alone."

Movie Review: Revolutionary Road (2008)

2009-01-21T16:31:00.010-05:00

As Mr. Garrison of South Park would say, the film was "Only Mmmmkay." Revolutionary Road just doesn't have a lot of "there" there. It was enjoyable in the sense that it was fun watching completely warped characters systematically fuck up their lives even more. Like a train wreck.

The plot deserves almost no introduction, so I won't spend too much time on it. Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are two "special" people who buy in to job security and the 50's suburban culture. This, along with their inability to communicate with each other and reignite the passion of their early years together, lead to a lot of drama and unnecesary shenanigans. Not a particularily dynamic plot, and there aren't any car chases or explosions, but certainly interesting on a psychological level.

Revolutionary Road hinders on the rather presumptuous notion that EVERYONE in the audience holds the viewpoint that the 50's Consumer Culture, Conspicuous Consumption, and Suburban Lifestyles were inherently flawed and hollow. It's a little risky to just lump history into a 2 hour movie, and certainly ballsey to fearlessly tote around this thematic viewpoint so OBVIOUSLY. My biggest thematic problem with Rev. Road was the lack of subtlety. The blatant discussion of the death of the American dream (eg. that long speech by Winslet about how they are "special") is nothing short of a pathetic attempt by the screenwriting crew to make the movie more faithful to the themes of the novel (written in the 60's by Richard Yates). But instead of doing it WELL through subtlety, good shots and character development, Revolutionary Road has the tendancy to editorialize. And it's not a good thing.

The film-making itself is decent. Kate and DiCaprio are VERY good actors and are extremely powerful in the lead roles. Their performaces are enough reason to see the movie, and the combination of tension, physical violence, sexual frustration, and sheer rage is remarkably realistic and intriguing. The subsidiary cast, however, does a terrible job of keeping up with the two leads' power and dynamic development. Essentially, the movie falls apart whenever Kate and DiCaprio aren't onscreen togher. However, the movie is redeemed by good cinematography and a decent original score. If anything, I'd nominate Revolutionary Road for an Oscar simply based on the great shots of Leo DiCaprio in the train station, surrounded by dress-conforming businessmen. Again, blatant, but well-done.

MY RATING: Good acting and mediocre everything else. See only if you're a fan of DiCaprio and/or Winslet. Otherwise leave it to the pile of forgettable American dramas.

Snow day

2009-01-20T21:11:00.006-05:00

It was a snow day today. Most of my classes were canceled, due to the fact that the University doesn't want people tripping and dying on snowy bricks. A good policy, in my opinion.

I got to thinking about snow. Tiny fluttering bits of snow falling to the ground and making a neat little layer of white tufts on the pavement. The snow that nips your face with cold, no matter which direction you go. Snow got me thinking about life in general and what a strange metaphor it is for humanity. In my mind, I associated snow with fragility. How pure and innocent it seems when lying on the sidewalk, or on a bridge, paved with bricks. A hand running across the stony rail could disrupt the entire thing, leaving uneven streaks of white with brick showing underneath. Small, almost petal-like drops of snow falling from a hand when it leaves the rail.

"How fragile is our existence!" is what my brain wants to scream. "How easily marred by our own interventions!" You see, a hand running across a rail can not only disrupt an almost completely natural scene, but it can also be used for far more nefarious things, like forming a snowball to throw at passers-by. This "innocent" act (which I was prone to twice today) isn't so much a question of small annoyances, or even potential but a question of instinct. There's something inside of us all that wants to deform that perfect line of snow, to trudge down and make footprints of out own on a canvas where there are none. There's something inside of us that wants to take nature, or each other, and subject it to our will. You see what I mean? Human instinct has unlimited potential for creativity. Freud's "Id" idea, again, says that all untapped creative potential lies in our subconscious. But at what cost? Our instinct to "mess with things". To mess with nature and to mess with each other. It's frightening sometimes.

Sometimes it seems to me that mankind can't leave well-enough alone. Of course, if we followed the "do no harm" instinct, we wouldn't even be able to create pine boxes to bury ourselves in time to keep up with our extinction from this earth. In short, out ability to "mess with nature" is useful. But it's also destructive. And I'm not one to go onto lengthy preachy discourses on this, but examples are obvious.

My concern is where the line is drawn. Isn't enough enough sometimes? And how far do we pry into the lives of others? That's, as Hamlet would say, the rub. I pose no solution to this dilemma. All I ask is that you think of that the next time your instinct tells you to sweep your hand across a snow-covered table, or tread a new path through snowy bricks.

People who inspire me: David Bowie and Dane

2009-01-12T19:36:00.012-05:00

Hey guys, quick update before I start bloggin'. Yes, I am back at school. I'm approaching the semester with a whole lot of hope and a whole lot of honesty. As such, I hope you'll keep with me and listen to what I have to say.

The following series idea came from a discussion that Dane came up with (inspired by Steven Spielberg's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes). The question was, which people inspire you? What kinds of authors, directors, musicians inspire you to create (in my case, blog and write creatively)? I've decided to extend this a little bit and pick one person in culture who inspires me and one person from my everyday life who inspires me. I hope you enjoy the series. And as always, comments are greatly appreciated.

1. David Bowie. David Bowie has only very recently begun to inspire me. I'd always been aware of his music, hits like Let's Dance, China Girl, Heroes, and Under Pressure. Famous stuff. I began to delve into his pyramid-like discography further once I discovered "Sound and Vision", a track off of "Low" that served to inspire Trent Reznor on his work with "The Downward Spiral" (as you probably know, one of my favorite albums).

David Bowie has a remarkable talent at storytelling. From Ziggy Stardust's "Starman" and "Ziggy Stardust," it's easy to get enraptured in his ballad-esque retelling of Ziggy and his life. I can only hope to imitate the ease in which Bowie's lyrics blend brilliantly with his acoustic/electric guitar pairings. For me, it's like Poetry's clever dance with rhythm and meaning. When it works, it works beautifully. The other thing that inspires me about Bowie is his daring in adding little-teensy-tiny bits of social commentary without seeming overwhelming or in-your-face. My favorite song of his is easily "Rebel Rebel," which (masked behind a rockin' melody) tells the story of a rebellious girl who is opressed by society into conforming to traditional girl stereotypes. Brilliant stuff, and not nearly as preachy and stupid as so-called "Social rockers" like Allanis Morrisett, John Mayer, and Mellisa Etheridge.

2. Dane K. Dane has always served as an inspiration to me, not only the fact that I've known him for 17 years (go figure), but just because he is a real friend to me. It's with Dane, more than anyone else, that I can have intellectual conversations and meaningful discussions. Dane is one of those persons who you can always pick up conversations exactly where we leave off (though our inundation of text messages through the day ensure there's few gaps). His knowledge of classic movies, music, pop culture, politics, social trends, and so much more continue to fascinate me, along with his amazing ability to remember EVERY DARN LITTLE DETAIL about everything. Whether it's quoting a movie, line by line, or asking him what year an album was released, Dane's knowledge is 100% accurate...Though there's only a 33% chance of that :P I could go on for pages, but I just want to touch on some tiny inside jokes that always serve to amuse and inspire....such as...*deep breaths* "Is space time continuum remote mine?", Tori Amos, David "Boowie", "Oh...Apples!", Burnout Revenge, "I can't stand him!", "None more black", and so much more... So anyways, here's to Dane and David Boowie, who will always keep me on my toes.

Music Essay: An ode to Nu Metal. It’s significance, rise and fall, and hopes for revival

2009-01-10T23:10:00.004-05:00

I was walking through Target today (go figure) and saw a copy of Disturbed’s album “The Sickness.” Remember that? Catchy, frantic, angsty, METAL! Great music to rock out to. Disturbed, and all the other bands that were pegged in the late 90’s-early 2000’s as “Nu Metal,” essentially dominated the popular metal scene, establishing some of the biggest names in modern rock (Linkin Park, Korn, Slipknot, etc.) and producing some classic albums.

But almost as quickly as it caught on, the very same angsty, chains-wearing teenage boys listening to the stuff suddenly decided that Nu Metal wasn’t cool and started ditching Nu Metal bands like the plague (or the Sickness, if you will). Bands like Linkin Park, Staind, Papa Roach, and P.O.D. were forced to adapt or die. And in many instances, some bands didn’t get off the Titanic quickly enough and are now swimming in the oceans of obscurity. The question that I want to explore today is “why?” Why was Nu Metal so popular, important, and (in my opinion) awesome in the late 90’s-early 2000’s and suddenly completely culturally IRRelevant today?

To find the answer, it’s necessary to briefly examine the history of Nu Metal. Anthrax is widely accepted for creating the genre with their song “Bring the Noise,” both a remake and collaboration with Public Enemy in 1991. The distorted, syncopated guitar riffs combined with the rapping created a decidedly noisy rap-metal combination that worked brilliantly (check out the original song). Out of the spark of Anthrax came the fire of Korn. Korn’s 1994 eponymous debut album ranks as one of the most influential metal albums of all time, matching hip-hop drumming, funk baselines, and rapped/sung lyrics with moody, dark guitar riff and a LOT of screaming. This would become the hallmark Nu Metal sound. Korn’s success with “Korn” and “Follow The Leader” inspired other bands to do the same, notably Limp Bizkit, who became the posterchild for the genre as time went on with albums “Three Dolla Bill, Yall$” and “Significant Other”. In 1999, something extraordinary happened. “Significant Other” exploded and gave Nu Metal Top 40 mainstream success with songs like “Nookie” and “Break Stuff” (metal, catchy, and awesome). Along with this came a horde of Nu Metal bands within the next three years. Notably, Papa Roach (“Last Resort”), Slipknot (“Wait and Bleed”), Staind (“It’s Been A While”), P.O.D. (“Boom”, “Youth of a Nation”), and the most popular Nu Metal band of all time, Linkin Park.

Linkin Park is worth mentioning separately for a minute. At the time of Linkin Park’s wildly popular debut “Hyrbrid Theory” in 2000 (which later went diamond), Nu Metal was at its apex. Mike Shinoda’s rap-metal fusion had worked well, creating a classic album that really can’t be paralleled or exceeded. It was at this time that Nu Metal was doomed.

Nu metal’s ultimate demise comes from the fact that the genre is surprisingly inflexible. Nu metal is by definition unable to do much that isn’t metal or rap. The metal-inspired guitar riffs are generally too simple to yield experimentation and most band DJs were unable or unwilling to draw more samples from hip-hop or electronica to explore more of Nu Metal’s potential. Faced with these limitations, Nu Metal MCs/lead singers were unable to crank out catchy new songs that could beat Linkin Park’s grip on the genre, Nu Metal gradually became hackneyed and boring.

By 2002 Bands were forced with the not-too-difficult choice. Ditch Nu Metal or die. Bands who continued to try failed, such as Crazy Town’s pitiful second album “Dark Horse,” Korn’s “Untouchables,” and Papa Roach’s “Lovehatetragedy.” Limp Bizkit’s 2003 effort “Results May Vary” is considered by many to be one of the worst albums of all time. By Linkin Park’s less-successful “Meteora” in 2003, it was clear that Linkin Park was no longer able to carry the genre on it’s own. Nu metal was dead.

Established bands like Staind and Korn began to drift into the broader world of Alternative Rock, wielding more organic sounding guitar riffs, while some like Slipknot and Disturbed, abandoned the hip-hop element almost entirely and dove headfirst into Alternative Metal. Even Linkin Park changed its tune on “Minutes to Midnight” in 2006 to a much lighter, much less electronic rock.

Today, no successful Nu Metal band exists. The genre has become extinct. Is there hope for a revival? Chances are, not for a few years at least. The genre is still far too fresh in the minds of Top 40 kids and too painful for metalheads to remember (who now consider Nu Metal a blemish on the face of rock, due to their painful failures towards the end of the period). Rumor has it that Linkin Park will be returning to Nu Metal on their 2009 album, and thus, have a hope of reigniting the genre.

In my opinion, if any band wishes to learn from the rise and fall of Nu Metal, it’s that you can’t be inflexible. There’s constantly more room for experimentation. Not EVERYTHING has to be hyper-heavy, driven by hip-hop beats, and feature a catchy syncopated guitar riff/electronic hook. Let’s take Linkin Park’s “Given Up” off of “Minutes to Midnight,” which is brief restyling of their older work. It starts off with completely different instrumentation: organic clapping, and live-recorded drum beats. Still the syncopated guitar riffs, still the scratching and the dark baseline with screaming. But new song structure: a bridge with a build up to screaming and an synthesized guitar riff, then back to the main chorus. Inventive, no?

I’d like to see more of Nu Metal in the future. But until then, I’ve still got some “Issues” with Korn, and some “Chocolate Starfish” with Limp Bizkit to tide me over. If Nu Metal can “Break The Cycle” (Staind reference, for all you fans), maybe we’ll see a resurgence.

Humor: Oh my random work life...

2009-01-10T22:22:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, just wanted to share something funny that happened at work today. Thanks to the miracle of blogs and anonymity, I can fully divulge the story, getting into the gruesome and hilarious details.

So, I'm helping this woman at Target check out. She's probably in her mid forties. She was dressed FAR too sluttily for her age. Low low cut black top, mega-eyeshadow, middle-aged Southern accented housewife, wrinkling, angsty, distracted by kids... Urgh. Not my favorite kind of person. Inevitably, they're the kind of person who'll get frustrated with their own inability to shop and then somehow take it out on me...

Which is ironically what happened. Her kids were running around like possessed pineapples (quite a site), pulling on her skirt and saying 'MOMMMYYY I WANNTTT THISSS..." in whiny almost-constipated voices. Mommy was a little busy checking out. Mommy, as I'm now referring to her, pitifully failed at keeping her kids quiet, allowing one to scream bloody murder when the toy wasn't placed on the belt. Screams...

Screams and more screams....And some screaming occured. In the meantime, I'm trying to be friendly. Distract the kids (so they'll stop screaming, dammit) and asking her about the price of some item ('cause the computer didn't have it on file). She starts getting snippy with ME, saying literally "Can't you see I've got my hands full?" Jeez.

Well, I was feeling rather smug while she glared at me. She asked to borrow my pen to write a check. So I hand her the pen. And as God's divine providence would have it, the pen seemed to magically FLIP out of her fingers...and into her open shirt. Wedged RIGHT BETWEEN HER BOOBS.

So, I'm TRYING to hold back the laughter erupting in my chest. She turns a bright shade of pink and waves her hands around frantically. It was like she was trying to shoo away a fly nipping at her boobs, and all the while squeeking awkwardly. Her kids by now had stopped their whining and paid attention to Mommy's plight. Unfortunately what COULD have been mildy humorous shenanigans turned into MORE awkwardness when she got the courage to gently remove the wedged pen with her highly-manicured nails.

I had kind of lost track by this point (blown away by what I was seeing). It took some time for her to get it out (why I am not sure). She smiled at me awkardly, put the pen down beside her, and paid with her credit card.

"Have a nice day," I said...CRIKEY! Incidentally, the kids walked away without a word. Crikey.

Re-introduction

2009-01-09T01:12:00.001-05:00

Hey guys. Well, freewebs was not working too well for me. It was too hard for people to post comments and just generally hard to use. I've decided to switch to Blogger.com for now, to both streamline the process and to give me more user-friendly access. The only downside is that the layout is not longer quite as cool. As always, I appreciate your support and continual COMMENTS! One step closer to world domination!!

Shout Outs:
rosiebeast for being my first official follower!

Music Review: Thr33 Ringz - T-Pain (2008)

2009-01-09T01:06:00.003-05:00

I'll always remember when I discovered T-Pain (and as my close friends know, I'm very proud of my discovery of T-Pain). I heard "I'm Sprung" on internet radio, a interesting little ditty about T-Pain's obnoxious woman-on-the-side. I instantly fell in love with the song and with T-Pain's sexy synthesized sanging. Using a vococorder in R&B? Back in 2004, that was unheard of! Synthesized singing was relegated to techno and late-90's Cher-esque pop. Certainly not R&B material. From his breakout in 2005 with "I'm N' Luv (Wit a Stripper)" he has singlehandedly changed the game and restructured the components of what makes a sucessful R&B single.

It's not hard to hear T-Pain's effects on the music world. Synthesized main vocals in pop/R&B is now commonplace. And, let's face it, T-Pain has been so damn successful, he's featured on just about every Top 40 song known to man. Since "Epiphany" in 2006, some might think that T-Pain has lost the ability to become original. Far from it. Thr33 Ringz could be his strongest album ever.

Thr33 Ringz has all the classic elements of his previous albums. Catchy club jams, and witty jams featuring guest performers like Ciara and all that. "Freeze" and "Can't Believe It" are fun and catchy, and so is "Blowin' Up" and "It Ain't Me". But in Thr33 Ringz, T-Pain gets experimental like never before. "Chopped N' Screwed" is hilariously chopped and screwed, leading to a perfect beat and clever arranging. And "Reality Show" exhibits what T-Pain does best. Take a melodramatic/raunchy subject and make it somewhat plausible as song material in a semi-comedic way. Like "Yo Stomach" and "I'm 'N Luv (Wit a Stripper)", Reality show made me laugh out loud for a few minutes and then think "You know, that's actually not a terrible idea...". I'm embarrassed to say I didn't think of it myself.

And I must quickly mention that his vocals have gotten even better. Since "Fly Away" on his first album "Rappa Ternt Sanga", there's been quite a lot of debate in the music industry over whether or not he can ACTUALLY sing or if he's covering his poor voice with electronics. On Thr33 Ringz, he sufficiently bashes all haters and proves that he can sing, with a synthesizer-free ballad about his family. I'm hearing some Donny Hathaway influences on here, plus some good ole Marvin Gaye. T-Pain has yet to show that he's got the vocal range, though he certainly has soul.

Thr33 Ringz is not without its misses, however. "Change" is VERY disappointing, especially given the caliber or it's guest performers. And DJ Khaled ruins everything (DJ Khaled's only skill set) on "Karaoke". It's nice to see that there's only about 4 songs that really suck from the 15 we are given (a higher ratio for a T-Pain album). Thematically, the other thing that Thr33 Ringz lacks is the serious sort of adult introspection that we heard during his early dayz on Rappa Ternt Sanga with songs like "Fly Away" and "Going Through a Lot". Even Epiphany had some serious content with "Suicide"'s exploration into drugs and AIDS. Songs like that made T-Pain unique in this word of pimpin', club-hoppin', and pimp-slappin' R&B. I'm sort of sad to see T-Pain's serious side disappear, though his fun side is equally as witty. But Thr33 Ringz is essentially a jam album, not a sob fest.
MY RATING: Hard to be dissapointed by the major singles and the clever b-sides, especially if you liked Rappa Ternt Sanga.

Movie Review: Twilight (2008)

2009-01-09T01:00:00.002-05:00

Ah, Twilight. The series that everyone loves to hate. I broke down finally and decided to see the movie, hoping that all the fuss about Edward Cullen was actually based in fact, and not the fantasies of adolescent teenagers. I was unfortunately disappointed to realize that Twilight is neither substance nor style. It’s a bit more “suck.”

I’ll provide a brief plot summary: Bella is an awkward high school girl who has moved to be with her father. There are vampires at her high school and she gets the hots for one in particular named Edward Cullen. Hijinks ensue. A rival vampire tries to eat Bella and Edward wants to eat Bella, but doesn’t at the same time. Lots of drama.

Not to say that Twilight wasn’t enjoyable. But enjoyable in the sense that it was just good enough to give the audience some hope of getting involved in the Bella-Edward love story without reading the series and just bad enough to tear these hopes apart. It’s a good story and all, but the moviemaking is just generally shitty.

The acting is sub-par. Bella is awkward in places when she shouldn’t be and overdramatic and “gaspy” everywhere else. Edward acts stoned and boring. It’s hard to see what’s so admirable or attractive about him when all he does is be mean and overprotective to Bella without showing much tenderness. I don’t get it… But the 14-year-old screaming teenyboppers certainly think differently. The rest of the Cullen family gets very little chance to develop in 2 hours and is also pitifully under-acted, especially Jacob, who indeed looks too much “in pain” to be taken seriously.

The special effects look like they were rejected from the early seasons of “Smallville”. The “glitterface” effect on Edward is awfully embarrassing and the strength/speed effects are boring. But hey, at least it makes for fun inside jokes.

However, there are some redeeming moments. The costumes are badass, with Edward, Alice, and James being the most notable. The direction is generally good, with truly impressive scenes, such as Bella and Edward on the top of the trees. And there’s a decent amount of suspense towards the end, though that in itself poses a problem because it moves too quickly to be stained.

MY RATING: Twlight is one of those book-to-movie translations that is mandatory for fans of the series and is decent for 14-year-old girls. For the rest of us “adult” viewers and for film critics, Twilight is decidedly unimpressive

Movie Review: Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

2009-01-09T00:50:00.001-05:00

It’s been called the worst movie of 2008 and one of the worst movies of all time. Of ALL TIME.
This strange, twisted, violent, hilarious futuristic musical is not all that bad, and it certainly IS a must-see.

Brief plot Summary: Due to an epidemic that causes organ failure, GENECO finances replacement organs for money like one would a car. But if you don’t make your payments…GENECO sends out…the Repo man who will (in the words of Graverobber) “rip the still-beating heart from your chest!” Shilo is an invalid teenager who catches the eye of the President of GENECO, Rotti Largo who is dying and hates his three kids who will inherit his empire. Shilo’s dad Nathan, however, hides many secrets, including the fact that he is a Repo man. Drama and plot twists ensue.

Like a circus sideshow, Repo! is hard to look away from. Since it was produced by the same people who made the “Saw” series, there’s plenty of bodies and gore. The general “problem” or strength or Repo! depending on how you look at it, is the fact that this semi-comedic, semi-serious treatment of very mature themes is wrapped up into a futuristic industrial rock musical. It’s sometimes hard to know when you’re supposed to cover your eyes in fear or to laugh hysterically. If this sounds dumb to you, then you’ll probably hate the movie. If it sounds awesome, then you’re sure in for a thrill ride.

The acting is surprisingly decent. Repo! sports good performances and *gasp* decent singing from the likes of Alexa Vega (of Spy Kids fame), Paris Hilton, Ogre (of Skinny Puppy, the best Industrial band ever) and Sarah Brightman.

The cinematography reminds me of traditional opera structures, returning to leitmotifs and a central image (the huge television floating above GENECO) to move the plot along. The use of comic-book panels to explain background flashback quickly also is extremely effective at imparting crucial bits of information without wasting too much time. And in this film with as many plot twists as dead bodies, it’s extremely necessary.

The soundtrack is really where it’s at. Catchy industrial rock pairs with humor and musical glee in hilarious numbers like “Mark It Up” and “We Started This Opera Shit” and serious numbers like “Chase The Morning”. And the ending…well, by the time you uncover your eyes, it actually is heartfelt and meaningful, making the audience feel like this wasn’t exactly a huge waste of time.

MY RATING: Amusing for fans of the genre (and by that I mean musicals, horror, and industrial rock). A cult classic at its core, but pretty inaccessible to the general movie-going population.

Movie Review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

2009-01-09T00:28:00.001-05:00

To call “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” one of the best films of 2008 is an understatement. To call it one of the best films of the 21st century is more appropriate.

I can’t stop raving about Benjamin Button and its amazingness, and apparently, neither can other critics. There’s so much to talk about, I’ll have to relegate my commentary to stuff that you can’t find on other critical websites. It’s no secret that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is the new “Forest Gump”. Eric Roth “adapted” both the sucky novel by Winston Groom and the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. And “adapted” in both instances means improved. Mr. F. Scott’s story is not one of his best and Eric Roth took the best elements (the science-fiction element of a man living his life backwards) and created an almost-original story with which to examine the human condition.

From the start of the movie’s remarkable technique of explaining the story through flashbacks between the past and 2005 Louisiana being ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, we know that we’re being given something different. The strengths of Benjamin Button come from its excellent storytelling, largely due to the efforts of directorial genius David Fincher (who brought us Alien3, Fight Club, and Se7en). There are a multitude of brilliant eye-waterin’ visuals. My favorites are the excellent boat shots during WWII and the scene of Ben and Daisy on the fog-covered veranda. It’s such a joy to watch a director who really knows what’s visually attractive and knows how to exploit it in a way that’s not corny, melodramatic, or overreaching. In the face of so many so-called “modern epics” like “300” that use such sweeping visuals and Matrix-inspired stop-motion techniques, it’s nice to see a little subtlety to make a good scene. There’s no shortage of tension and drama in Ben Button either. You get emotionally invested in the characters and their fates, to the point that if you look around in the theatre near the end of the movie, there’s hardly a dry eye.

There’s so much emotional and thematic depth that I want to just briefly touch on without spoiling the plot. The symbols of the hummingbird and the backwards clock both bridge the story from start to finish, acting as a motif for change and permanency. The fact that life is fleeting and death is inevitable, but also beauty to be had in the life that one can live. Brilliant stuff. Couldn’t be better written in a novel, and certainly works great on the big screen.

And all the other elements of the story work great too. The characters of Benjamin and Daisy are compelling and extremely well-acted by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. The special effects are worth mentioning too, and I’m confident in their ability to secure Academy Awards.

Speaking of those daggum little gold statues that mean so much, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button should be a shoe-in for Best Picture in any other year besides the 2009 Awards. 2008 had some of the best movies in decades, so it’s a little unfair that Ben Button, Doubt, Slumdog Millionaire, Burn After Reading, Gran Torino, and The Dark Knight have to be running all together for the same spots. Let’s hope the Academy given The Curious Case a little somethin’ somethin’ on February 22nd (day after my birthday, mind you) and give it the recognition it deserves.
MY RATING: Benjamin Button is one of those films that will be considered classic for years and years to come. It’s indeed another Forest Gump. Heartfelt and extremely replayable.