Love Letter - R. Kelly (2010)

Sigh...This album can be summed up with the phrase "R. Kelly will be R. Kelly," or maybe more aptly-titled, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks or how not to pee on little girls."

I had been hyping up Love Letter for about a month from the strength of the incredible lead single "When A Woman Loves," a classic soul throwback which could have easily been something Al Green or even Marvin Gaye could have done if they were still relevant/alive. Music critics, including myself, had seen the album as a way for R. Kelly to redeem himself from the auto-tuned steaming pile of "Untitled" that he released in 2009 and pave the way for him to revive his career with classic soul.

How wonderful that would have been if that was actually the case. Fact: if your best song on the album is a re-release of a song you wrote for Michael Jackson, we've got a serious problem. Yes, the ballad "You Are Not Alone" that R. Kelly wrote for MJ has finally been recorded by the original artist. And, let's face it, the song always fit R. Kelly's voice and style way better than MJ's. But that's pretty much the highlight of the album, minus the aforementioned "When A Woman Loves." The rest of the album, R. Kelly flirts with elements of classic soul, but suddenly relapses into his all-too-familiar rut of braggadocio and seduction songs with abysmal lyrics. Lows of the album include boring follow-up single "Love Letter" and the laughably dirty Taxi Cab. When will R. Kelly learn that we just want him to romance us and not weird us out? Perhaps the worst offense is the idiotic "Christmas Remix" of Love Letter which might have been remotely amusing, if not for Kelly's tired insistence on using the same instruments (that BLOODY flute!!) that he was obsessed with back on Chocolate Factory and pretending that "stepping" is a really cool new concept that he just invented. Please.

My Ranking: This album is deceptive. It's R. Kelly wanting you to believe he's turned soul, but it's really the same-old mediocre R. Kelly. He needs to take a dip back into the Chocolate Factory days to cook up some better-written songs.

Music Review: SWRMXS - HIM (2010)

HIM is a much-maligned band. It's kind of like the kid who you knew in high school who wore suspenders and just tried way too hard to be cool, but you still kind of liked him anyway for trying. HIM is a joke within the metal community, their self-declared genre of "Love Metal," being neither loving nor metal. Most consider it more of an overindulgent alternative rock band with a great lead singer (Ville Valo has chops that even rival Chris Cornell).

It's easy to hate on HIM with this album saying "They're a metal band who did a techno remix album? Better call Macy's cause I smell a sellout" But if you look at SWRMXS as a companion album to the incredibly mediocre Screamworks: Love In Theory And In Practice (2010), things aren't so cut and dry.

Screamworks was plauged by shitty songwriting, and maybe that's why the remix album sounds nothing like it. This isn't the band's first foray into the remix world, though their 2007 attempt Uneasy Listening was a barely-remixed cash cow attempt. SWRMXS certainly has the band swimming in unfamiliar waters. Even though Valo has a great voice, most of the remixes are chopped n' screwed or feature heavily distorted samples of the original songs. It actually sounds like someone went into a boardroom and said "Hey we want you to make electronic songs that sound nothing like HIM and then slap our name on it." Only Morgan Page and Tiesto provide anything that conventionally sounds like a dance remix one could play on the radio (both standout tracks).

The rest of the album is pretty clever though. Tracks like “In The Arms Of Rain” (SALEM Remix) made by the extremely talented Drag/Witchhouse group Salem use heavily distorted and choppy samples to create an ethereal atmosphere in an almost trip-hop song with no vocals. The other type of remix would be typified by the “In Venere Veritas” (Huoratron Remix), extremely heavy electro that wouldn't sound out of place in the more underground electronic radio stations in the depths of the internet. But it's all done with HIM samples and conforming to the general song structure of the original, though I can't imagine anyone who isn't intimately familiar with electronic music would notice.

The album has really got to piss off HIM fans. As a remix album, it fails to capture the spirit and flavor of the original band, but I also wouldn't say Valo is giving the finger to his heartgram/chain-wearing fans either. It stands very much on it's own as a smart piece of electronic musicianship, featuring very talented remixers and producers.

My RANKING: It doesn't work as a remix album for a rock band, but it's worth a listen for fans of sample-based electronic music and really heavy electro. Give it a shot and let me know what you think.